Fitness reports - ring any bells out there?

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Floppyjocky, Feb 14, 2006.

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  1. Found this surfing around. Seen most of them before but still makes me chuckle. Feel free to add any others

    "Royal Navy and Marines Fitness Reports"

    The British Military writes EPRs and officer fitness reports. The form used for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are ACTUAL EXCERPTS taken from people's "206's"....

    His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.
    I would not breed from this Officer.
    This Officer is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't-be.
    When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.
    He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.
    He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.
    Technically sound, but socially impossible.
    This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope - always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.
    This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
    When he joined my ship, this Officer was something of a granny; since then he has aged considerably.
    Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig.
    She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
    He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.
    This Officer should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better.
    In my opinion this pilot should not be authorized to fly below 250 feet.
    This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
    The only ship I would recommend this man for is citizenship.
    Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.

    A few more -
  2. Love them,reminds me of the one Peter Ustinov told.
    "He consistently sets his standards low and continuously fails to achieve them!"
  3. Recommended reading (also by Rick Jolly) - "In Confidence - The Jackspeak Triservice Guide to Staff Reporting" - about 100 pages of classics
  4. nostalgia time 1

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