Fishing with Grenades

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by trelawney126, Aug 1, 2012.

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  1. My old dad RIP used to do a bit of salmon poaching that way using the mills bomb when he was billeted at the Brig O'Don Barracks.
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2012
  2. witsend

    witsend War Hero Book Reviewer

    Sure he did Pinocchio.
  3. Salmon poaching using hand grenades, very stealthy, no-ones going to notice that are they!
  4. My dad often went rabbiting in a place called Winestead Woods in East Yorkshire back in the 70's and he used B52 Atom Bombs that he nicked from a U.S. Airforce Base on his dustbin rounds every Tuesday afternoon.. Better than snares any day. So there.
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2012
  5. My great Auntie Gretta used to fish for blackholes using a Supernova suspended on the end of a length of Lime-green wool.
  6. Well, MY dad used to go to the salmon farm with an empty tin and shout "GET IN THE FUCKIN' TIN!" into the water, and the salmon would just jump out, gut themselves with little Ninja swords that they held between their tiny fins and land in the tin, which had a bit of tomato sauce at the bottom. Dad would then put the lid on the tin and bang it shut with his bell-end. He could also do this with sardines, tuna fish AND mackerel.
  7. Cor what a liar,mackerel with tomato sauce, thats hard to believe. And my dad used to hunt fish with torpedoes, didn't you wrecks? (His real name is Walter) and he loves me.

  8. Since the senior service terminated your employment you have become an even sourer old fart than you were when serving, who would have thought it possible?
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2012

  9. Aye but he had on his soldiers you can't see me suit and being as fit as a butchers dog could run like the veritable wind.

    Last edited: Aug 2, 2012
  10. Ageing_Gracefully

    Ageing_Gracefully War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    My dad went to the fish monger and bought his fish. Got at least one EVERY time - so there!!!!!
  11. Aye, but we had it tough. When I was camping out next to Kuril lake, Kamchatka, in the former Soviet Union on me 'olidays once, a fuckin' enormous brown bear tried to kill me mum and dad. As it was rippin' the fuckin' tent apart trying to tear mum and dad into bits, I slipped under the back of the tent and dived into the lake (knowing why the fuckin' bear was up here in the first place), and caught what the bear was actually lookin' for. I then ran back to the tent (clad only in my *Troy Tempest - Stingray* pyjamas) and beat the hairy, snarling bastard bear to death with a live salmon.

    I was only eleven.
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2012
  12. Billy. You are without doubt one heroic, brave bastard!
  13. Ageing_Gracefully

    Ageing_Gracefully War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Fixed that for you - no charge during the Olympics!
  14. Read all abaht it here:

    Mills & boom boom | Books | The Observer
  15. jockpopeye

    jockpopeye Badgeman Book Reviewer

    The old guy that I used to work with on the local farm told me that when he was a lad he taped shotgun cartridges to tree branches or fences facing a small pile of grain. When a pegeon would land to eat the grain he would set off the cartridge with a shot from his air rifle at arms length. Sounds a bit extreme but I never tried it so cannot dispute his story.

    He had a huge number of similarly practical tales from how to get rid of wasps nests, normally involving setting them on fire in some way, to telling the fire brigade to f*ck off when burning heather. Never worked with such a master story teller since.
  16. Fuckin hell Billy has a had a fantastic life, and been spoilt rotten.
    Pajamas eh!
    We were so poor we didn't even have skin until an older relative died and it was handed down.
  17. I sniff an enormous amount of bullshit in this thread and it's not all emanating from Rummers' under clackers (most of it is though, as we all know the bruthas can't fish as they only eat fried chickin').
    Last edited: Aug 2, 2012
  18. We are opportunists and do still have the occassional flame grilled honky if the RR I mean if we find one about, that no one ownes.
    And thats bear shit you smell Billy really frightened that grizzly..apparently. Unless of course you think it might not be true?
  19. Fishfinger sarnies.

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