A guy has to put his aged father into a care home & after a few days he rings the home to ask how his dad is getting on "Well, says the nurse, he's a bit like a fish out of water at the moment",
"What, is he finding it hard to settle in" ?
"No, he's dead" !!
An eighty year old granny decided to streak through the mens ward in the old folks home. As she went by one old boy says to his mate, "What the hell was that?". his mate replied, "I don't know but, whatever it was it needed ironing!".