Fighting etiquette for 40 year olds.

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by wet_blobby, Apr 10, 2010.

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  1. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    So what's the score? The scrote down the road has p1ssed me off, enough to raise the interest levels, I had a kindly word that may well have included the words, clown, cnut, slap.

    Now, I know I should be above these things but lets face it, I'm not. I have a 6 foot 2 saliva slobbering, should have been put down at birth, fat cnut wanting to pick a fight with me. I thought it was on but his mum came out and got him after a few insults had been traded.

    I wont shag the mum, so, what's the go? live in hope we can pick up tomorrow were we left of or grow old gracefully and give a polite nod the next I see him?
  2. Kidnap his dog and post it back one bit at a time..... If he doesn't have a dog his mother/brother/sister will work fine.
  3. Personal opinion:

    Knock the cnut out.
  4. How old is it?
  5. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    Mate, I want to but, why do the youngsters keep vanishing when it comes to fun time? They're excellent at gobbing off but lack any follow up ability.
  6. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    It's only about 20, mature and responsible in the eyes of the law but a bit naive in the ways of the serviceman.
  7. Because he's scared the big nasty man might hurt him?
  8. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    No, poor deluded sod thinks he's the big nasty man, quite comical really.
  9. He was probably posturing, kinda testing the water, just to see if he could best you. He's found out that he can't, at least not on his own. Do not let him think he's got another shot at the title by being too nice, keep him on the back foot. Smile at his mum by all means, but scowl at him.
  10. Knock him out and his mum up!
    Better still, once you've knocked him out, tie him up and then wait til he comes to, then bugger her forcing him to watch, the money shot over her face of course whilst wailing "who loves ya baby!!"
    Then ask him if he fancies a pint.
  11. If it still lives with it's mum, invite the mum round for coffee and over a couple of hobnobs explain that her son is a tool. Suggest that she sorts it out or you'll offer him out (boxing club perhaps) to show him the error of his ways.

    That's what I imagine would be the sensible approach. Personally I would cut him.
  12. After a lengthy mental debate about the law, what would feel good, and morality...

    , seems like the best option.

    Plus, you wouldn't have to share any hobnobs then right?
  13. Bugger his mother and then wipe your knob on his face.

    Have fun

  14. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Ah. Young sprog syndrome. He clearly views you as someone who is older and therefore a pushover. How little he knows. If i were you, i would post some of those photos of you and your Cdo chums fighting with roll matts in the rip. He'll back off as quickly as Steven Hawking approaching a steep incline.
  15. Hmm, all good ideas above.

    Although, do you know any mates with a white van. Plan is, kidnap the fcuker for an hour or so. Get a couple of mates to hold him down in the back, will you t bag him.

    If that goes tits up, shag his mum, use suitable protection. Slap him around the face with said protection afterwards.
  16. Blobs, do what any bootie would do.
    Throw on your best frock, tart yourself up a bit. Trap him. When you're getting down to business, inform him who you actually are, and either a) rape him or b) cut off his meat and veg.
  17. Or cut off his knob and rape him with it.
  18. Ah, the locals giving you gyp mate? What did he do, molest your sheep? :lol:
    I knew it would come to this, whilst most NZers are ace, country bumpkin 20ish numpties (I include Dunners twunts here, as the big D would find it hard to be a County Town in the UK.) can be a right pain in the arsche. :evil:
    Invite him round for a Barbie "to sort things out...." get him pished, 5 stubbies of Speights at the most, say you'll drive him home, go on a wee detour out Kurow way and then pop the "Now whats the fecking problem, mate?" question.
    If he's stroppy fill him in, if he's meek and mild drive off leaving him with a 30 odd Km walk home. That should cool his jets. :twisted:
    If you need a wingman to distract the cops while you make your escape give me a bell, I do like to return favours you know. :wink:
  19. That's a winner right there :thumbright:
  20. Wait until they go on a holiday then post thu their letterbox an envelope full of fishing maggots with the top open.
    in a weeks time their house will be so full of bluebottles they will need a fumigation service at great cost.
    Put a rusty pin thru their sat cable in a hidden place shorting out the signal,now that will be expensive to find and fix.No Sky for a while will piss them off no end.
    Then smack the sod with a lead pipe,he will think twice after that.

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