Fifty Shades of Grey The missus bought a Paperback down Dymocks Saturday, I had a look inside 'er bag Twas Fifty Shades of Grey. Well I just left her to it, At ten I went to bed. An hour later she appeared; The sight filled me with dread. In her left hand she held a rope And in her right a whip She threw them down upon the floor, And then began to strip. Well fifty years or so ago I might have had a peek; But Doris hasn't weathered well; She's eighty four next week. Watching Doris bump and grind Could not have been much grimmer. Things went from bad to worse When she toppled off her Zimmer! She struggled up upon her feet; A couple minutes later; She put her teeth back in and said I 'ad to dominate her!! Now if you knew our Doris, You'd see just why I spluttered, I'd spent two months in traction For the last complaint I'd muttered. She stood there nude, naked like Bent forward, just a bit. I thought what the hell, Stepped forward, and stood on her left tit! Doris screamed, her teeth shot out, My god what had I done? She moaned and groaned then shouted out: Step on the other one! Well readers, I can't tell no more 'bout what occurred that day. Suffice to say me jet black 'air, Turned fifty shades of Grey.