Female language dictionary

40-ish...............................................49
Adventurous.....................................Slept with everyone
Athletic.............................................No tits
Average looking................................Ugly
Beautiful............................................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile..............................Does a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure...........................On medication
Free spirit.........................................Junkie
Friendship first..................................Former slut
Fun..................................................Annoying
New-Age.........................................Body hair in the wrong places
Old-fashioned..................................No BJs
Open-minded...................................Desperate
Outgoing..........................................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate.......................................Sloppy drunk
Professional......................................Bitch
Feminist...........................................Fat
Voluptuous......................................Very Fat
Large frame.....................................Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate..............................Stalker

1. Yes = No
2. No = No
3. Maybe = No[align=justify]
4. We need = I want..
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = And you'll pay dearly
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

 

oh NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, im fecked then because
Im,, adventurous,,, have a contagious smile,,free spirited,,fun ,,old fashioned, open minded,,, out going and passionate....

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: ohhhhh and i like to get chemicaly inconvenienced..........

 

It's no wonder us poor blokes can't fathem the fairer sex is it :roll:

 

So I said to the wife,
"Do you want me to do this before that or shall I continue doing the other that, that you told me to do before the other this, then I'll do the first that before the other this and at the same time I'll get on with those, them and
the thats that I forgot about when you told me to do the other. If I can't
get the thats done, I'll try and see to the stack of outstanding thems, these
and the remaining those that I should have done before starting the others.
I thought that the last that that I was told to do before doing them was the
way you told me to do it, having been shown the error of my ways I shall
re-do all the thats, thems, these and those and the theys that you have
since added to the BLOODY LIST!!!"" :???: