Fcuuuukkkkk what do I say?

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by wet_blobby, Nov 15, 2007.

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  1. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    Just been asked by Mrs Blobby...."blobbs...ever had warts.."

    Stupidly shout back "Yeah, why?"

    Mrs Blobby "I think little un's got one on her finger, what you say?"

    Blobbs: fcuk, back pedal, "pardon?"

    Ooops, suggestions would be good to get out of this one.....
  2. They are caused by a virus,similar to a verrucca.an old remedy was either to bash it with a big Bible or get someone to buy it.At Mercury sickbay we had a NN lynn Storey that would buy them off the wartees for a few pence and sure enough they would dissappear!
  3. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    Funnily enough, I used the verruca gag about being around ten years old and seen something like it in a swimming pool. Didn't mention slappers and penile........
  4. The bodys immune system usually will get rid of the wart .Most cures hurt more than the wart.

    Freezing ; Liquid nitrogen-190 c Nitros oxide -80 c Butane (Wartner)-40 c

    Salacylic acid in collodian (Bazuka)

    Thujia ."Health shops"/chemists

    Gluterol (Alderhyde)



    Biogun(Ion stream)

    Placibo, Buy it, Rub with bacon and bury it , hit with Bible. All 70% effective in trials and dont cost or hurt unless you hit too hard with Bible :dwarf:
  5. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    Hey, I'm rid of mine, Dont know how little Miss Blobby will take it if I bash her with a bible. Can't see her seeing the funny side of it. :thumright:
  6. Seriously, rub it with banana skin. Works every time, and is not painful.
  7. I had warts as a kid in the 50's. Doc said they cannot survive without air and water so sticky plaster and don't wash. Worked for me.
  8. Submariners wart free, don't wash . Seriously, the banana skin works with the inside applied to the wart and kept on . The bonus , you eat the banana
  9. Put Pussers Black Maskers on it
  10. Cut the finger off. Works everytime.
  11. It's very simple. You have one of three options:-

    1. Use flame from kitchen blowtorch (used to melt the sugar on creme brulees) and after sprinkling icing sugar on said wart, CAREFULLY use flame to caramelise sugar on protrusion. Don't feed her for three days. At the end of this period the caramelised wart will have either been eaten or or will have devoured your daughter;

    2. Using a sharpened bayonet, slice off the offending item;

    3. Using a sharpened bayonet, slice off the wart.
  12. Evaporated sea water.........
    our kid was at Colingrad and had two massive warts on his hand, joined Plymouth at sea and warts disappeared after a week.
  13. milky sap from a dandelion plant works.
    Had penile warts once doc on the Victorious dug 'em out and it was painful.
    Had to be done though as we were heading for Pompey after a 18 month deployment and I don't think the missus would have understood that it was all down to washing in seawater!
  14. Try Rod's suggestion next time. You won't suffer from them again! :biggrin:

    Incidentally whilst looking for an suitable pic to place here I found one of Nutty Bag.....


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