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Favourite Shanty?

taffscrivs

War Hero
She stood on the bridge at midnight,
Picking blackheads from her crotch,
She said 'Sir I've never had it',
He said 'No not fecking much!
'
I can't remember the rest, anyone care to carry on?
 

slim

War Hero
It was on the bridge at midnight
Throwing snowballs at the moon
She said Jack I've never had it
She spoke to ferkin soon
 

Wightsparker

War Hero
It's the same, the whole world over,
It's the poor wot gets the blame.
It's the rich, wot gets the pleasure -
Ain't it all, a bloomin' shame.
 

Wightsparker

War Hero
Great thread, But technically, the RN didn't do shanties. The latter were working songs used in the merchant marine - but there are still some good RN songs. The Lobster Song is a classic, as is:

Oh, I wonder yes I wonder, did the Jossman make a blunder.....
 
D

Deleted 103788

Guest
On the good ship Venus
by Christ you should have seen us
the figurehead
was a whore in bed
sucking a dead man’s penis.
The captain’s name was Lugger
by Christ he was a bugger
he wasn’t fit
to shovel shit
from one ship to another.
And the second mate was Andy
by Christ he had a dandy
till they crushed his cock
on a jagged rock
for cumming in the brandy.
The third mate’s name was Morgan
by God he was a gorgon
from half past eight
he played till late
upon the captain’s organ.
The captain’s wife was Mabel
and by God was she able
to give the crew
their daily screw
upon the galley table.
The captain’s daughter Charlotte
was born and bred a harlot
Her thighs at night
were lily white
by morning they were scarlet.
The cabin boy was Kipper
by Christ he was a nipper
he stuffed his ass
with broken glass
and circumcised the skipper.
The captain’s lovely daughter
liked swimming in the water.
Delighted squeals
came when some eels
found her sexual quarters.
The cook his name was Freeman
and he was a dirty demon
and he fed the crew
on menstrual stew
and hymens fried in semen.
And the ship’s dog was called Rover
and we turned the poor thing over
and ground and ground
that faithful hound
from Teneriff to Dover.
When we reached our station
through skilful navigation
the ship got sunk
in a wave of spunk
from too much fornication.
On the good ship Venus
by Christ you should have seen us
the figurehead
was a whore in bed
sucking a dead man’s penis.







ReplyForward





 

Alfacharlie

War Hero
On the good ship Venus
by Christ you should have seen us
the figurehead
was a whore in bed
sucking a dead man’s penis.
The captain’s name was Lugger
by Christ he was a bugger
he wasn’t fit
to shovel shit
from one ship to another.
And the second mate was Andy
by Christ he had a dandy
till they crushed his cock
on a jagged rock
for cumming in the brandy.
The third mate’s name was Morgan
by God he was a gorgon
from half past eight
he played till late
upon the captain’s organ.
The captain’s wife was Mabel
and by God was she able
to give the crew
their daily screw
upon the galley table.
The captain’s daughter Charlotte
was born and bred a harlot
Her thighs at night
were lily white
by morning they were scarlet.
The cabin boy was Kipper
by Christ he was a nipper
he stuffed his ass
with broken glass
and circumcised the skipper.
The captain’s lovely daughter
liked swimming in the water.
Delighted squeals
came when some eels
found her sexual quarters.
The cook his name was Freeman
and he was a dirty demon
and he fed the crew
on menstrual stew
and hymens fried in semen.
And the ship’s dog was called Rover
and we turned the poor thing over
and ground and ground
that faithful hound
from Teneriff to Dover.
When we reached our station
through skilful navigation
the ship got sunk
in a wave of spunk
from too much fornication.
On the good ship Venus
by Christ you should have seen us
the figurehead
was a whore in bed
sucking a dead man’s penis.







ReplyForward



Sex Pistols also done this, well, sort of.
 

Dusty70

War Hero
As I was walking through a wood
I shit myself I knew I would

I cried for help but no help came
aaannnnddd so I shit myself again

can't remember the rest - was it about black enamel crows ?
 
@Dusty70 I believe you are right, according to the Barrow S/M Association's website 'tis the final verse of:

<<..Home - Dits & Bits - Lyrics - The Three Crows Song

There were three crows upon a tree,
they were black as black can be,
said one black crow to another,
you are a black enamel b****r,
haleigh-loo ya, haleigh-lo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ya.
Haleigh-loo ya, haleigh-lo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ya.


Out came the farmer with his gun,
and shot them crows excepting one,
who flew into another tree,
and said you b*****d, now shoot me,
haleigh-loo ya, haleigh-lo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ya.
Haleigh-loo ya, haleigh-lo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ya.


The farmer loaded with shot and shell,
and blew that crow to f*****g hell,
and as it fluttered to the ground,
there were no more crows to be found,
haleigh-loo ya, haleigh-lo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ya.
Haleigh-loo ya, haleigh-lo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ya.


As I was walking through a wood,
I s**t myself, I knew I would,
I cried for help but no help came,
as so I s**t myself again
haleigh-loo ya, haleigh-lo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ya.
Haleigh-loo ya, haleigh-lo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ya
..>>

It's been a long while since I last heard it/sung it but I've never seen those two 'Haleigh-loo ya' lines before.

Ref. http://rnsubs.co.uk/dits-bits/lyrics/the-three-crows-song.html

Few more Songs there for @civvy_SJM2 and anyone else interested.


Aladdin's Song
A Lean & Unwashed Tiffy
An Old Elvis Song
Beer Is best
Chicken on a raft
Come to the Spare Crew Do
Diesel And Shale
Golden Dolphins
Half Ahead Together
Have you ever been to Trincomale
Nobby Hall The Big O.D.
Nobody washes in a Submarine
Submarine open day
The Death of Nelson
The Fishermans Song
The K26 Song
The Matelot's Prayer
The Northern Lights Of Old Helensburgh Town
The Starfish Song
The Tattooed Lady
The Three Crows Song
The Tot Song
Underneath The Surface
Wicked Helena My Young Jenny Wren
Willie Mcbride
 

Dusty70

War Hero
Brain cells being jiggled here - what about

My brother Sylvest
had a row of 40 medals on his chest
Chorus - BIG CHEST
................the army and the navy
my brother Sylvest
 

Alfacharlie

War Hero
There were three crows upon a tree,
they were black as black can be,
said one black crow to another,
you are a black enamel b****r,
haleigh-loo ya, haleigh-lo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ya.
Haleigh-loo ya, haleigh-lo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ya.


Out came the farmer with his gun,
and shot them crows excepting one,
who flew into another tree,
and said you b*****d, now shoot me,
haleigh-loo ya, haleigh-lo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ya.
Haleigh-loo ya, haleigh-lo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ya.


The farmer loaded with shot and shell,
and blew that crow to f*****g hell,
and as it fluttered to the ground,
there were no more crows to be found,
haleigh-loo ya, haleigh-lo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ya.
Haleigh-loo ya, haleigh-lo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ya.


As I was walking through a wood,
I s**t myself, I knew I would,
I cried for help but no help came,
as so I s**t myself again
haleigh-loo ya, haleigh-lo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ya.
Haleigh-loo ya, haleigh-lo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ya
..>>
I do hope Lewis Hamilton isn’t reading those lyrics?!
Oh the shame of it... :oops::)
 

civvy_SJM2

Badgeman
Just found this:-
Never heard of it before, even though I'm a big fan of Monty Python.
I'm a big fan of Monty Python too. :) I've heard the song, but I've never considered it a sea shanty before. Interesting take on it.
 
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