Favourite matelot song

Jack-The-Lad

Midshipman
ACTION STATIONS AGAIN


Its Action Stations again ,
We’re closing down to Zulu Alpha,
Respirators are on,
The ventilation has gone.
Oh, How we love to perspire,
and feel it running down our ovvies,
There’s no need to pre-wet,
We’ll just stand here and sweat.
There’s shelter stations, DC runs, abandoning ship,
Action messing, what a blessing, might get a chip.
Radiation fallout, Hear the de-contams’ call out,
Glory Hallelujah, as he scrubs out that deck.


Who’s that gibbering heap,
It’s the Jimmy on the tannoy,
Though we’ve just run aground,
He says a quick one all round.
It’s nearly time to secure,
And another day completed,
It’s back to Portland so bleak,
and this is just the first week.
It’s liberty guys to glamorise and down to the town,
Weymouth bar, the Butchers Arms, the Black Dog and Crown,
Landlords getting chocka, calling for the copper,
Glory Hallelujah, you’ll scrub them cells out.


The next morning around ten,
Yes we finally get the message,
Oh but what a great run,
When all’s said and done.
With aching stomach and head,
We see the man and here the charges read,
So now we’ve got a date,
With that old anchor gate.
RPO’s and Chief GI’s have no need to shout,
A few more days of all this and I’m getting out,
Back to Pete and Chris, no more on the piss,
Glory Hallelujah were deployment bound.
 

Jack-The-Lad

Midshipman
LEPROSY (YESTERDAY)

Yesterday, The Vicar came over and rogered me.
Eight hours later he was still on top of me.
I can’t forget, yesterday.

Syphilis, How the fcuking hell did I get this?
Feels like needles running through my piss.
Oh, I believe in syphilis

Leprosy, there are pieces falling off of me,
I'm not half the Man I used to be,
Oh Leprosy came suddenly.

Mastectomy, there is only one Breast left on me,
People call me mono Mammary,
Mastectomy came suddenly.

Amputee, there is only one Leg left on me,
There is only one boot worn on me,
My other Leg is half a tree.

Circumcision, Now my prick has unrestricted vision.
No more foreskin to hinder sperm emission.
Oh, I believe in circumcision.
Oh, I believe in circumcision.

It goes on with other parts of the body…
 

Sumo

War Hero
Always seamed strange to me, that I know lots of Matelots/rugby songs when shitfaces but can only remember bits when sober?
 

taffscrivs

War Hero
That's the Hamish Imlach version Wrecks. The song is bound to be on one of his albums. He was a great comic/anti establishment singer and songwriter, sadly died in 1996.
 

dapperdunn

War Hero
Book Reviewer
rugby songs
Climb, climb up sunshine mountain, where the four winds blow.
Climb, climb up sunshine mountain, faces all aglow.
Turn, turn your back on sorrow, reach up to the sky.
Climb, climb upa sunshine mountain, you and I.....you and I....you and I :)
 

Sumo

War Hero
Climb, climb up sunshine mountain, where the four winds blow.
Climb, climb up sunshine mountain, faces all aglow.
Turn, turn your back on sorrow, reach up to the sky.
Climb, climb upa sunshine mountain, you and I.....you and I....you and I :)
sounds familiar, give us a few pints and I am sure I will remember:D:D
 

Scouse_Scribes

Lantern Swinger
LEPROSY (YESTERDAY)

Yesterday, The Vicar came over and rogered me.
Eight hours later he was still on top of me.
I can’t forget, yesterday.

Syphilis, How the fcuking hell did I get this?
Feels like needles running through my piss.
Oh, I believe in syphilis

Leprosy, there are pieces falling off of me,
I'm not half the Man I used to be,
Oh Leprosy came suddenly.

Mastectomy, there is only one Breast left on me,
People call me mono Mammary,
Mastectomy came suddenly.

Amputee, there is only one Leg left on me,
There is only one boot worn on me,
My other Leg is half a tree.

Circumcision, Now my prick has unrestricted vision.
No more foreskin to hinder sperm emission.
Oh, I believe in circumcision.
Oh, I believe in circumcision.

It goes on with other parts of the body…
Cheers for that, knew there must be more verses. Happy days
 
With reference to " This old hat", I've seen it performed on two occasion.
First time in the NAAFI club at Pembroke 1966, the second time in one of the bars in Alongapo, Subic Bay in 68. Bloody good crack what.
 

Jock r

Newbie
Heres the full version of aladin

There once was a lad called aladin, who had a magic lamp,
he bought it of a matelot who was fathoms up a tramp,
he bought it of a matelot, to see what he could get,
and he rubbed and he rubbed, and rubbed and he rubbed and got f##k all yet.
O' tral la la la, tral la la la
sixteen annas in one rupee
A feed of chuff up a sycamore tree
poor bugger janner.

The sultan said to aladin , my palace you will paint
Aladin like a big OD said no i F##king a'int!
so he got a 2" brush and a pot of black enamel,
and stuck it up the ******** of the sultans favorite camel.
O' tral la la la, tral la la la
sixteen annas in one rupee
a feed of chuff up a sycamore tree
poor bugger janner

By ali's foolish action the sultan was displeased,
he called apon is eunichs and had poor ali seised,
the eunicks said to ali, o' please do desist,
the sultan has decreed it,you'll be come one of ust!
O' trall la la, tral la la,
sixteen annas in one rupee,
a feed of chuff up a sycamore tree,
poor bugger janner

It was christmas day in the harem, and ali was standing there,
watching dusky maidens dressed in nowt but there hair,
the voice of father christmas came belowing down the hall,
what do you want for christmas ali, and ali anwsered BALLS
O' tral la la la, tral la la la
sixteen annas in one rupee
A feed of chuff up a sycamore tree
poor bugger janner.

took some doing that!!
 

Jock r

Newbie
I sort of remember this at the end.

Old bugger janner

You make farce kiss my arse,
Make fast the dinghy (repeat)
And we'll all go back to Oggie land (where's that) to Oggie land
(where's that) to Oggie land and we'll all go back to Oggie land
Where they can't tell the difference tween tissue paper, tissue paper, marmalade and jam
Oggie Oggie Oggie OI OI OI Oggie OI etc

It may be the back end of another song I don't want to teach Old dogs new tricks Cheers
 

Dusty70

Lantern Swinger
I sort of remember this at the end.

Old bugger janner

You make farce kiss my arse,
Make fast the dinghy (repeat)
And we'll all go back to Oggie land (where's that) to Oggie land
(where's that) to Oggie land and we'll all go back to Oggie land
Where they can't tell the difference tween tissue paper, tissue paper, marmalade and jam
Oggie Oggie Oggie OI OI OI Oggie OI etc

It may be the back end of another song I don't want to teach Old dogs new tricks Cheers
Close but wasn't it

Poor bugger janner
you make fast kiss my arse - make fast the dinghy
 

Jock r

Newbie
I can only remember a bit of this anyone else? to Que sara sara

When I was just a little od
I asked the buffer what will I be
will I be mess decks will I be flats
here's what he said to me
Kiss my ass my ass
Your F*CK all to do with me
the future not ours to see
kiss my ass my ass
 

JFP

Badgeman
Can anybody help with a song that my Sea Daddy used to sing? It started "I fell in love with a three badge Stoker,
Trollied his arxe on a blank weekend.
 

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