Favourite matelot song

Blackrat

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
Various posts have provided a small portion of this song. Here is the entire ditty, unless you know differently.

ALL
The Mayor of Bridgewater, she had a fair daughter
and the hairs on her dickie dido went down to her knees

CHORUS

FIRST HALF OF THE SINGERS
And the haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaairs
SECOND HALF OF THE SINGERS
..............on her dickie dido

FIRST HALF OF THE SINGERS
And the haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaairs
SECOND HALF OF THE SINGERS
..............on her dickie dido

FIRST HALF OF THE SINGERS
And the haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaairs
SECOND HALF OF THE SINGERS
..............on her dickie dido

ALL
Went down to her knees

(END OF CHORUS)

ALL
One black one, one white one, and one with a bit of shite on
and the hairs on her dickie dido went down to her knees

CHORUS

ALL
She married an Italian with balls like a bloody stallion
and the hairs on her dickie dido went down to her knees

CHORUS

ALL
It took three Welsh miners to find her vagina
and the hairs on her dickie dido went down to her knees

CHORUS

She lived in a lighthouse
It looked like a fucking shitehouse
And the hairs from her dickie dido....

CHORUS

If you want to shag her
Have a drink, she's a double bagger
And the hairs from her dickie dido....

CHORUS
 

Jack-The-Lad

Midshipman
DINAH


Chorus: Dinah, Dinah show us your leg, show us your leg
Dinah, Dinah show us your leg about a yard above your knee
A rich girl uses Vaseline, a poor girl uses lard
But Dinah uses axle grease because her c*nt so hard

Chorus

A rich girl rides a limousine; a poor girl rides a truck
But the only time that Dinah rides is when she has a fcuk

Chorus

A rich girl wears a ring of gold, a poor girl uses brass
But the only ring that Dinah wears is the one around her arse

Chorus

A rich girl wears brassiere, a poor girl uses string
But Dinah don’t wear nothing at all, she lets the bastards swing

Chorus

A rich girl uses a sanitary towel; a poor girl uses a sheet
But Dinah uses nothing at all, and leaves a trail along the street

Chorus

I wish I were the diamond ring on Dinah’s dainty hand
Then every time she wiped her arse I’d see the Promised Land

Chorus

A rich girl drinks cocktails; a poor girl drinks brown ale
But the only time that Dinah drinks, is when she drinks down down
 

Jack-The-Lad

Midshipman
ARE YOU LONESOME TONIGHT


Are You Lonesome Tonight Is Your Brassiere Too Tight
Are Your Corsets All Drifting Apart
Do The Hairs On Your Chest, Make Big Holes In Your Vest
Is Your Spare Tire Reaching Your Chest
Are Your Stocking All Torn And Your Shoes Wearing Thin
Do You Hold Up Your Knickers With A Big Safety Pin
Are Your False Teeth All Worn, Do They Drop When You Yawn
Then No Wonder Your Lonesome Tonight









 

Jack-The-Lad

Midshipman
YOGI BEAR

There’s a bear that we all know: Yogi, Yogi
There’s a bear that we all know: Yogi, Yogi Bear
Yogi, Yogi Bear, Yogi, Yogi Bear

There’s a bear that we all know: Yogi, Yogi Bear
Yogi’s got a little friend: Booboo, Booboo
Yogi’s got a little friend: Booboo, Booboo Bear
Booboo, Booboo Bear, Booboo, Booboo Bear,
Yogi’s got a little friend: Booboo, Booboo Bear

Yogi’s got a girlfriend: Suzie, Suzie
Yogi’s got a girlfriend: Suzie, Suzie Bear
Suzie, Suzie Bear, Suzie, Suzie Bear
Yogi’s got a girlfriend: Suzie, Suzie Bear

Yogi’s got an enemy: Ranger, Ranger
Yogi’s got an enemy: Ranger, Ranger Smith
Ranger, Ranger Smith Ranger, Ranger Smith
Yogi’s got an enemy: Ranger, Ranger Smith

Suzie likes it upside down: Koala, Koala
Suzie likes it upside down: Koala, Koala Bear
Koala Koala Bear, Koala, Koala Bear,
Suzie likes it upside down: Koala, Koala Bear

Suzie wears crotchless nix: Teddy, Teddy
Suzie wears crotchless nix: Teddy, Teddy Bear
Teddy, Teddy Bear, Teddy, Teddy Bear
Suzie wears crotchless nix: Teddy, Teddy Bear

Suzie likes it up her bum: Easy, Easy
Suzie likes it up her bum: Easy, Easy Bear
Easy, Easy Bear, Easy, Easy Bear
Suzie likes it up her bum: She’s an Easy Bear

Suzie likes it 2 bears up: Spit Roast, Spit Roast
Suzie likes it 2 bears up: Spit Roast, Spit Roast Bear
Spit Roast, Spit Roast Bear, Spit Roast, Spit Roast Bear
Suzie likes it 2 bears up: She’s a Spit Roast Bear

Booboo’s got a cheesey knob: Camem, Camem
Booboo’s got a cheesey knob: Camem, Camem Bear
Camem, Camem Bear, Camem, Camem Bear

Booboo’s got a cheesey knob: He’s a Camembert
Booboo’s knob is long and green: Cucum, Cucum
Booboo’s knob is long and green: Cucum, Cucum Bear
Cucum, Cucum Bear, Cucum, Cucum Bear
Booboo’s knob is long and green: Cucum, Cucumber
 

Trainer

War Hero
Book Reviewer
Does anyone know one that starts:

'I'll never forget, the sailor I met, at Waterloo Station'.

To the tune of Perry Como's 'Magic Moments'

?
 

WreckerL

War Hero
Does anyone know one that starts:

'I'll never forget, the sailor I met, at Waterloo Station'.

To the tune of Perry Como's 'Magic Moments'

?
I'll never forget, the smell of her sweat, from under her armpits.

The only line I can remember at the moment.
 

dapperdunn

War Hero
Book Reviewer
Remember the night you fell in the shite,
You had your best suit on.
The one that you got for saving up lots of Emmbassy coupons.
Magic moments, contraceptives we've been sharing.
 

dapperdunn

War Hero
Book Reviewer
YOGI BEAR

There’s a bear that we all know: Yogi, Yogi
There’s a bear that we all know: Yogi, Yogi Bear
Yogi, Yogi Bear, Yogi, Yogi Bear

There’s a bear that we all know: Yogi, Yogi Bear
Yogi’s got a little friend: Booboo, Booboo
Yogi’s got a little friend: Booboo, Booboo Bear
Booboo, Booboo Bear, Booboo, Booboo Bear,
Yogi’s got a little friend: Booboo, Booboo Bear

Yogi’s got a girlfriend: Suzie, Suzie
Yogi’s got a girlfriend: Suzie, Suzie Bear
Suzie, Suzie Bear, Suzie, Suzie Bear
Yogi’s got a girlfriend: Suzie, Suzie Bear

Yogi’s got an enemy: Ranger, Ranger
Yogi’s got an enemy: Ranger, Ranger Smith
Ranger, Ranger Smith Ranger, Ranger Smith
Yogi’s got an enemy: Ranger, Ranger Smith

Suzie likes it upside down: Koala, Koala
Suzie likes it upside down: Koala, Koala Bear
Koala Koala Bear, Koala, Koala Bear,
Suzie likes it upside down: Koala, Koala Bear

Suzie wears crotchless nix: Teddy, Teddy
Suzie wears crotchless nix: Teddy, Teddy Bear
Teddy, Teddy Bear, Teddy, Teddy Bear
Suzie wears crotchless nix: Teddy, Teddy Bear

Suzie likes it up her bum: Easy, Easy
Suzie likes it up her bum: Easy, Easy Bear
Easy, Easy Bear, Easy, Easy Bear
Suzie likes it up her bum: She’s an Easy Bear

Suzie likes it 2 bears up: Spit Roast, Spit Roast
Suzie likes it 2 bears up: Spit Roast, Spit Roast Bear
Spit Roast, Spit Roast Bear, Spit Roast, Spit Roast Bear
Suzie likes it 2 bears up: She’s a Spit Roast Bear

Booboo’s got a cheesey knob: Camem, Camem
Booboo’s got a cheesey knob: Camem, Camem Bear
Camem, Camem Bear, Camem, Camem Bear

Booboo’s got a cheesey knob: He’s a Camembert
Booboo’s knob is long and green: Cucum, Cucum
Booboo’s knob is long and green: Cucum, Cucum Bear
Cucum, Cucum Bear, Cucum, Cucum Bear
Booboo’s knob is long and green: Cucum, Cucumber
Suzie's into whips and chains, kinky, kinky. Etc.
 

Jack-The-Lad

Midshipman
Here is a few more........

THE MAYOR OF BAYSWATER

The Mayor of Bayswater, he had a lovely daughter
And the hairs on her dicky dido hung down to her knee

One black one, one white one, and one with a bit of shite on
And the hairs on her dicky dido hung down to her knee

Her name was Miss Morgan, she had tits like a barrel organ
And the hairs on her dicky dido hung down to her knee

I’ve smelt it, I’ve felt it, it was like a piece of velvet
And the hairs on her dicky dido hung down to her knee

One black one, one white one, and one with a bit of shite on
And the hairs on her dicky dido hung down to her knee

I’ve seen it, I’ve cleaned it, and I’ve been in between it
And the hairs on her dicky dido hung down to her knee

One black one, one white one, and one with a bit of shite on
And the hairs on her dicky dido hung down to her knee

It would need a coal miner to find her vagina
And the hairs on her dicky dido hung down to her knee

One black one, one white one, and one with a bit of shite on
And the hairs on her dicky dido hung down to her knee

She married an Italian with balls like a fcuking stallion
And the hairs on her dicky dido hung down to her knee

She lives on a mountain, and pissed like a bloody fountain
And the hairs on her dicky dido hung down to her knee

One black one, one white one, and one with a bit of shite on
And the hairs on her dicky dido hung down to her knee

She lives in a lighthouse, which stank like a bloody shitehouse
And the hairs on her dicky dido hung down to her knee

One black one, one white one, and one with a bit of shite on
And the hairs on her dicky dido hung down to her knee

One black one, one white one, and one with a bit of shite on
And the hairs on her dicky dido hung down to her knee

If she’d been my daughter, I’d have cut them shorter
Cause the hairs on her dicky dido hung down to her knee

One black one, one white one, and one with a bit of shite on
And the hairs on her dicky dido hung down to her knee

She died at the age of 90 with spunk running down her nightie
And the hairs on her dicky dido hung down to her knee

One black one, one white one, and one with a bit of shite on
And the hairs on her dicky dido hung down to her knee
 

Jack-The-Lad

Midshipman
ALOUETTE


Alouette, Gentile Alouette
Alouette, Gentile Alouette

How I Love Her Straggly Hair
How I Love Her Straggly Hair
Her Straggly Hair, Her Straggly Hair Ohhhhhhh
Alouette, Gentile Alouette
Alouette, Gentile Alouette
How I Love Her Two Crossed Eyes
How I Love Her Broken Nose
How I Love Her Double Chin
How I Love Her Two Buck Teeth
How I Love Her Squidgy Lips
How I Love Her Scrawny Neck
How I Love Her Floppy Tits
How I Love Her Wobbly Bum
How I Love Her Knobbly Knees
How I Love Her Hammer Toes
 

Jack-The-Lad

Midshipman
THE ENGINEER’S SONG

An engineer told me before he died
Harum titty bum, titty bum, titty bum
An engineer told me before he died
And I've no reason to believe he lied
Harum titty bum, titty bum, titty bum.
Harum, titty bum, etc....

He once knew a woman with a c*nt so wide,
Harum titty bum, titty bum, titty bum.
He once knew a woman with a c*nt so wide,
That she could never be satisfied
Harum titty bum, titty bum, titty bum.
Harum, titty bum, etc....

So He built a prick of steel,
Harum titty bum, titty bum, titty bum.
So He built a prick of steel,
Driven by a ruddy great wheel
Harum titty bum, titty bum, titty bum.
Harum, titty bum, etc....

Two brass balls he filled with cream
Harum titty bum, titty bum, titty bum.
Two brass balls he filled with cream,
The whole bloody lot was driven by steam
Harum titty bum, titty bum, titty bum.
Harum, titty bum, etc....

Round and round went the bloody great wheel
Harum titty bum, titty bum, titty bum.
Round and round went the bloody great wheel,
Up and down went the prick of steel,
Harum titty bum, titty bum, titty bum.
Harum, titty bum, etc....

Up and up went the level of steam
Harum titty bum, titty bum, titty bum.
Up and up went the level of steam,
Down and down went the level of cream.
Harum titty bum, titty bum, titty bum.
Harum, titty bum, etc....

Till at last the maiden cried,
Harum titty bum, titty bum, titty bum.
Till at last the maiden cried,
Enough enough I'm satisfied.
Harum titty bum, titty bum, titty bum.
Harum, titty bum, etc....

Now we come to the tragic bit,
Harum titty bum, titty bum, titty bum.
Now we come to the tragic bit,
There was no way of stopping it.
Harum titty bum, titty bum, titty bum.
Harum, titty bum, etc....

She was split from arse to tit,
Harum titty bum, titty bum, titty bum.
She was split from arse to tit,
The whole bloody lot was covered in shit.
Harum titty bum, titty bum, titty bum.
Harum, titty bum, etc....


_____________________________________________________________
 

Scouse_Scribes

Lantern Swinger
A long, long time ago, under the influence of many beers I heard a song that was sung to the tune of "Paint it Black" by the Rolling Stones

This is what I remember

"you took my burberry and I want the bastard back

Not a lot to go on I know but if anyone can point me in the right direction would be most grateful, it's been bugging me for years
 

Big O D

Midshipman
You talk like marlene deitrich
And dance like biffo the bear
Your clothes are all made by Bernard's
And you've rats and lice in your hair

So where do you go to my lovely
Whenyour a lone
In you pit
Tell me the thoughts that surround you
When you go for a spine shattering
shit
 

Big O D

Midshipman
Two sweaty socks beside an old French letter
A dose of syphilis that won't get better
And when I piss it stings
These foolish things remind me of you


A pair of knickers with a stain between them
The smell of petrol where you tried to clean them
And when I piss it stings
These foolish things remind me of you
 
Vaguely remember something along the lines of..
She had hairs on Her belly
like the branches of a tree
She could f**k fight fart
push a barrow pull a cart..
 

taffscrivs

War Hero
Vaguely remember something along the lines of..
She had hairs on Her belly
like the branches of a tree
She could f**k fight fart
push a barrow pull a cart.

I think these may be lines from the song "She's a Big lass she's a Bonny lass" by Hamish Imlach.
 

Scouse_Scribes

Lantern Swinger
Old one to the tune of "Yesterday"

Leprosy, bom bom
bits and pieces falling off of me
I'm not half the man I used to be
Oh Leprosy came suddenly

Syphilis, bom bom
Pins and needles running through my piss
how the fecking hell did I get this
Oh syphilis came suddenly
 

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