As the festive season approaches and we partake of sprouts, mince pies and other flatulence producing foods it brings about the question is there a protocol for farting? For instance in a bar area containing ladies, if a lady should fart is there a pecking order for the person willing to admit to said fart to save the lady any embarrassment? Should the order be , AB followed by LH followed by PO etcetera? Should you find that you are unable to contain your flatulence, do you just let it go or do you surreptitiously find some unsuspecting mug to blame? Having examined several etiquette articles I am still at a loss. It is my belief that RR members would be eminently qualified to correct this situation and between us produce a farting protocol.