Farting catches you out.......

[superpom]

Yea....bet you still come in for a good slap on occasion.....

 

[Sumo]

L

Yea....bet you still come in for a good slap on occasion.....

May deserve, but not from mother, she be long gone.

 

[rebbonk]

I took my girlfriend to the cinema one night. It was Jacob's ladder IIRC? All of a sudden she hissed in my ear, "You filthy bastard!"

Innocently, I asked, "What..." and then pulled a very distressed face. "Come on love, we're moving," I said and dragged her up and over to another part of the cinema. Slowly, others followed us. This happened several times.

In order to prove my 'innocence', I saw the manager and demanded my money back. He grudgingly handed it over. The girlfriend went to her grave 30 years later never knowing the truth.

 

[SONAR-BENDER]

Hargreaves old chap.....................we have been waiting for a weirdo like you on here for a while now........you are doubly welcome !!

Agreed! He's a funny and better version of Norman! What Norman (and all his socks) could have been if he'd removed the chips!

 

[Hargraves]

Agreed! He's a funny and better version of Norman! What Norman (and all his socks) could have been if he'd removed the chips!

Thank you for that!!!

 

[BillyNoMates]

Last weekend I had the pleasure of grand daughters company. Sidled over to sit by me to watch Roald Dahls "Big Friendly Giant" on Netflix.
She sat down and then let out a hoofer whilst clutching this toy (Doll-Doll).
Stink?
A full NBCD suit wouldn't have had any effect..... that's my girl!



I couldn't have done better if I'd seen off a crate of Murphys and a plate of sprouts.

 

[Dusty70]

My Grand daughter is the same - rejoices in a good fart and thinks it's OK as long as she says 'Pardon my bottom'

 

[Alfacharlie]

HMS Chatham, bridge wing having a tab. Just left Egypt * and waiting to give the flying brief. Had a mahoosive fart and it turned wet.
The main problem was, I was in them white shorts you had for tropical rig.
Huge map of Africa on me arse region.
The Flight Commander cancelled our flying for four day’s! He was chuffed to fcuk, but I was to fro with the aft heads for about a week!

* Most of you have more than likely visited such dump, therefore would understand.

 

[Sumo]

Last weekend I had the pleasure of grand daughters company. Sidled over to sit by me to watch Roald Dahls "Big Friendly Giant" on Netflix.
She sat down and then let out a hoofer whilst clutching this toy (Doll-Doll).
Stink?
A full NBCD suit wouldn't have had any effect..... that's my girl!

View attachment 55366

I couldn't have done better if I'd seen off a crate of Murphys and a plate of sprouts.

The doll did it

 

[Sumo]

HMS Chatham, bridge wing having a tab. Just left Egypt * and waiting to give the flying brief. Had a mahoosive fart and it turned wet.
The main problem was, I was in them white shorts you had for tropical rig.
Huge map of Africa on me arse region.
The Flight Commander cancelled our flying for four day’s! He was chuffed to fcuk, but I was to fro with the aft heads for about a week!

* Most of you have more than likely visited such dump, therefore would understand.

I just blamed the shite beer.

 

[Alfacharlie]

I just blamed the shite beer.

Yep, Egyptian Stella.
Rank.

 

[Dredd]

But you still drank it!

 

[Sumo]

But you still drank it!

And?

 

[Alfacharlie]

But you still drank it!

Either that, or stay onboard with the mess deck throbber.

 

[SONAR-BENDER]

The worst shit house I ever saw was in Egypt - it made the 'pill box' in Bugis St look like the Loo of the Year!

 

[Alfacharlie]

That film ‘Trainspotting’ springs to mind.

 

[taffscrivs]

I once farted when stood next to the skipper's wife.
He snarled at me, 'How dare you fart in front my good lady!'
My reply, 'Sorry sir, didn't realise it was her turn!'

 

[WreckerL]

2 worst shithouses I'd ever seen were in the grand bazaar in Istanbul and in Karachi, but there again Karachi was a mahoosive shithole in it's own right!

I never went near any in Egypt, I would have rather follow through sober.

 

[slim]

2 worst shithouses I'd ever seen were in the grand bazaar in Istanbul and in Karachi, but there again Karachi was a mahoosive shithole in it's own right!

I never went near any in Egypt, I would have rather follow through sober.

When I worked in Cairo most of the locals would just raise their robes and take a shit anywhere.

 

[Alfacharlie]

Kuwait! Absolute dump. (No pun intended).
Oh, and @WreckerL Karachi too (spelling).

And Djibouti. Hole!!!!!