The_Caretaker
War Hero

A pub is having a fancy dress night, and outside the bouncer in impressed by the costumes he's seen so far, when up walks a man, totally naked, covered in oil, with a naked girl on his back.
"I'm sorry, but there's no way you're coming in here tonight", says the bouncer.
"Why not?" the man replies.
"Firstly, this is a fancy dress party and you're not wearing a dang thing, and secondly, what the hell's that girl doing on your back?"
"No costume?" replies the man. "I'm a snail, and this," he says pointing to the girl, "is Michelle."
"I'm sorry, but there's no way you're coming in here tonight", says the bouncer.
"Why not?" the man replies.
"Firstly, this is a fancy dress party and you're not wearing a dang thing, and secondly, what the hell's that girl doing on your back?"
"No costume?" replies the man. "I'm a snail, and this," he says pointing to the girl, "is Michelle."