A pub is having a fancy dress night, and outside the bouncer in impressed by the costumes he's seen so far, when up walks a man, totally naked, covered in oil, with a naked girl on his back. "I'm sorry, but there's no way you're coming in here tonight", says the bouncer. "Why not?" the man replies. "Firstly, this is a fancy dress party and you're not wearing a dang thing, and secondly, what the hell's that girl doing on your back?" "No costume?" replies the man. "I'm a snail, and this," he says pointing to the girl, "is Michelle."