Faeces

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by RonJeremy, Mar 2, 2009.

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  1. I'm just about to go for a dump if anyone is interested. I'll let you all know how I get on. Laters! :wink:
     
  2. Thanks for that. Cheers!! That'll be the best part of you gone then. :lol:
     
  3. Nice one, was it any good?
     
  4. Fcuk Me! 8O That was fcuking traumatic! It was like a flock of bats.....really fcuking horrible! I've got a right old case of the squits! My hoop now resembles a fighting dogs ear! :cry:
     
  5. Any blood?
     
  6. Oh well a fighting dogs ear is probably better than a sherriffs badge!
     
  7. Did you need bog paper or a towel?
     
  8. No blood thank fcuk! What initially felt like a vikings helmet, a chisel ended wheel spanner and four bowling balls followed by a gushing torrent of foul smelling liquified fecal matter....but no blood. Thanks for enquiring though!
     

  9. Nope, a pressure washer and a working party of 6 'damned JR's' all wearing once only suits and equipped with wire brushes and 2 stone of pussers hard!
     
  10. Is your hoop still half hanging out or has it returned to initial position? I know when I succumb to a terror sh1t the first thing my tea towel holder does is head for the water for a cooling drink. It normally hangs around kissing my nicks for a couple of hours after too.
     
  11. Well at least it's out now, call the coastguard tell them to watch out for it, could be a danger to shipping. :D :D
     
  12. My sewage Hull Valve has definately failed to open. It's like an old tattered windsock flapping in the breeze or a horses collar. How the fcuk brown hatters can take it up the pipe I'll never know!
     
  13. Lots and lots of lubricant. apparently, not that I know anything about that sort of thing.
     
  14. Have you informed Max Clifford?
    I'm fairly certain that with his help you will make sh!tloads of cash and your arse will be the subject on several newspaper front pages :oops:
     
  15. I just bombed the death-star and the splashback was like a 2000lb hitting a taliban stronghold!!
     

  16. Now that the hull valve is fcuked, what state is your snippet valve just in case you can't crimp when you get back on to solids again
     
  17. Sounds like a re-grind of the valve seat is in order. Take yourself to the engineers workshop and spread eagle over a lathe. Have a relay of baby stokers applying lubricant while the cutting tool does its work. Have a curry for dinner to test hull valve to full diving depth.
     
  18. Or just find someone who owns a dog and get the dog to lick it better.
     
  19. The college children have the correct idea crap in a sink and save toilet paper and save the world TAWTS

    [​IMG]
     
  20. I heard you prefered a Dyson hoover shoved up your exhaust pipe mate!!
     

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