Faeces

#4
Fcuk Me! 8O That was fcuking traumatic! It was like a flock of bats.....really fcuking horrible! I've got a right old case of the squits! My hoop now resembles a fighting dogs ear! :cry:
 
#8
No blood thank fcuk! What initially felt like a vikings helmet, a chisel ended wheel spanner and four bowling balls followed by a gushing torrent of foul smelling liquified fecal matter....but no blood. Thanks for enquiring though!
 
#9
WreckerL said:
Did you need bog paper or a towel?

Nope, a pressure washer and a working party of 6 'damned JR's' all wearing once only suits and equipped with wire brushes and 2 stone of pussers hard!
 
#10
Is your hoop still half hanging out or has it returned to initial position? I know when I succumb to a terror sh1t the first thing my tea towel holder does is head for the water for a cooling drink. It normally hangs around kissing my nicks for a couple of hours after too.
 
#12
My sewage Hull Valve has definately failed to open. It's like an old tattered windsock flapping in the breeze or a horses collar. How the fcuk brown hatters can take it up the pipe I'll never know!
 
#13
RonJeremy said:
My sewage Hull Valve has definately failed to open. It's like an old tattered windsock flapping in the breeze or a horses collar. How the fcuk brown hatters can take it up the pipe I'll never know!
Lots and lots of lubricant. apparently, not that I know anything about that sort of thing.
 
#14
Have you informed Max Clifford?
I'm fairly certain that with his help you will make sh!tloads of cash and your arse will be the subject on several newspaper front pages :oops:
 
#16
RonJeremy said:
My sewage Hull Valve has definately failed to open. It's like an old tattered windsock flapping in the breeze or a horses collar. How the fcuk brown hatters can take it up the pipe I'll never know!

Now that the hull valve is fcuked, what state is your snippet valve just in case you can't crimp when you get back on to solids again
 
#17
RonJeremy said:
My sewage Hull Valve has definately failed to open. It's like an old tattered windsock flapping in the breeze or a horses collar. How the fcuk brown hatters can take it up the pipe I'll never know!
Sounds like a re-grind of the valve seat is in order. Take yourself to the engineers workshop and spread eagle over a lathe. Have a relay of baby stokers applying lubricant while the cutting tool does its work. Have a curry for dinner to test hull valve to full diving depth.
 
#18
Jack77 said:
RonJeremy said:
My sewage Hull Valve has definately failed to open. It's like an old tattered windsock flapping in the breeze or a horses collar. How the fcuk brown hatters can take it up the pipe I'll never know!
Sounds like a re-grind of the valve seat is in order. Take yourself to the engineers workshop and spread eagle over a lathe. Have a relay of baby stokers applying lubricant while the cutting tool does its work. Have a curry for dinner to test hull valve to full diving depth.
Or just find someone who owns a dog and get the dog to lick it better.
 
#20
Montigny_La_Palisse said:
Jack77 said:
RonJeremy said:
My sewage Hull Valve has definately failed to open. It's like an old tattered windsock flapping in the breeze or a horses collar. How the fcuk brown hatters can take it up the pipe I'll never know!
Sounds like a re-grind of the valve seat is in order. Take yourself to the engineers workshop and spread eagle over a lathe. Have a relay of baby stokers applying lubricant while the cutting tool does its work. Have a curry for dinner to test hull valve to full diving depth.
Or just find someone who owns a dog and get the dog to lick it better.
I heard you prefered a Dyson hoover shoved up your exhaust pipe mate!!
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
BillyNoMates Diamond Lil's 5

Similar threads

Latest Threads