War Hero
A woman decides to have a facelift for her birthday, She spends ?5,000.00 and feels pretty good about the results. On her way home she stops at a newsagents to buy a paper. Before leaving she asks the man at the till, "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32 " the man replies.
"I'm actually 47," the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonalds and asks the girl behind the counter the same question.
She replies,"I'd guess about 29".
The woman replies, "Nope, I am 47."
Now she is feeling really good about herself. While waiting for the bus home, she asks an old man the same question.
He replies, "I'm 78 and my eyesight is going a bit. But when I was young there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was, but it requires you to let me put my hands up your shirt and feel your breasts. Then I can tell exactly how old you are."
They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best of the woman and she finally says, "What the hell, go ahead".
The old man slips both hands up her shirt, under her bra, and begins to feel around.
After a few of minutes she says, "Okay, how old am I?"
The old man removes his hands and says, "You are 47."
Stunned the woman says, "That's amazing, that's exactly right, how do you know?".
The old man replies, "I was behind you in line at McDonalds