Facebook

#1
I thought i will have a little drip on here considering i cant drip at work. Anyway as the title suggest ''facebook''. At the moment i am at work and was browsing on facebook looking at pictures etc during my dinner break when one of the members of staff walked past and mentioned that i only have 73 friends, i replied back to here ''these are the people that i keep in contact with on my phone'' (contact being the key word)
She replied ''well i have over 700''
Which i thought bollocks then she showed me, and there it was 721 friends.

Anyway i was like WTF how many of those people that you actually keep in touch with ?
She replied ''all of them''
So i rephased the question ''how many of them are on your phone?''
she said ''no where near that many''

So this got me thinking i thought of face book as getting in touch with old school pals , keeping in touch with mates etc, but im wrong apparently its a contest to see who can have the most friends that you dont know, never seen before people, one night stands or people from Africa who is either after money or a visa.
So i phoned up my girlfriend and asked her how many friends does she have on facebook which she replied ''about 100''
Which is not too bad i guess then she asked ''why?''
which i replied ''just wondering''
So my point being in this useless post,that maybe to some or most people, Facebook is no longer a social network site but a contest for the younger generation to see how many people they can add that they dont know.

Enough dripping for now.
 
#3
Indeed.

When I first went on that horrific site I quickly ended up with 270 "friends". Having noted that I don't talk to or like most of them, I culled it down to 100. 80 of which I still don't like anyway.

The hilarious thing is, many of those I culled then sent me a message asking what my problem was and why I wasn't their mate. Impressively, that is probably the only communication I'd had with these retards in about ten years.

It is good for shagging old girlfriends and sisters of oppos though.
 

Blackrat

War Hero
Moderator
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#4
I'm on twatbook and have around 200 odd friends. The majority i keep in touch with regularly and the rest i will email now and then, just to keep in touch. I personally know all of my friends bar one, who i have yet to meet and is a member on this here site. To be honest, Facebook is getting worse all the time. Thinking about it, maybe i need to cull my friends list a bit.
 
#5
Get with the times, Facebook is for finding fcuk buddies, everyone knows that.

Play the alphabet game, it is very simple and can get some great results:

Step 1: Do a search for a girl's name beginning with A, i.e. Abby.

Step 2: 'Poke' all the ones who are in your local area and are good looking.

Step 3: Most will ignore you but a few will reply, either by reciprocal poke or message.

Step 4: Send a message back asking to go out for a drink.

Step 5: Go out for a drink.

Step 6: Fcuk them.

Step 7: Do a search for a girl's name beginning with B, i.e. Briony.

Step 8: etc...................................


It's a simple game of numbers and means you will only ever have birds that you find attractive, after all you poked them in the first place because you liked the look of their picture.

Top tip: I recommend using a second Facebook account for this purpose so you don't end up with any stalkers.

Happy hunting!
 
#7
Clown_Puncher said:
Indeed.

When I first went on that horrific site I quickly ended up with 270 "friends". Having noted that I don't talk to or like most of them, I culled it down to 100. 80 of which I still don't like anyway.

The hilarious thing is, many of those I culled then sent me a message asking what my problem was and why I wasn't their mate. Impressively, that is probably the only communication I'd had with these retards in about ten years.

It is good for shagging old girlfriends and sisters of oppos though.
same happened to me loads of people I knew from school and previous workplaces. I sent a message to everyone asking how they were, then deleted the ones who did not reply within a week and got rid of around 160.
 
#10
2_deck_dash said:
Get with the times, Facebook is for finding fcuk buddies, everyone knows that.

Play the alphabet game, it is very simple and can get some great results:

Step 1: Do a search for a girl's name beginning with A, i.e. Abby.

Step 2: 'Poke' all the ones who are in your local area and are good looking.

Step 3: Most will ignore you but a few will reply, either by reciprocal poke or message.

Step 4: Send a message back asking to go out for a drink.

Step 5: Go out for a drink.

Step 6: Fcuk them.

Step 7: Do a search for a girl's name beginning with B, i.e. Briony.

Step 8: etc...................................


It's a simple game of numbers and means you will only ever have birds that you find attractive, after all you poked them in the first place because you liked the look of their picture.

Top tip: I recommend using a second Facebook account for this purpose so you don't end up with any stalkers.

Happy hunting!
Or:

Step 1: Get a grip and go to the pub.

Step 2: Recce all the ones who are in your local pub and are good looking.

Step 3: Chat them up.

Step 4: If they refuse to nosh you off there and then ask them to go out for a drink.

Step 5: Go out for a drink.

Step 6: Fcuk them.

Step 7: Repeat ad nauseum.

Step 8: etc...................................
 
#11
daffy1 said:
I thought i will have a little drip on here considering i cant drip at work. Anyway as the title suggest ''facebook''. At the moment i am at work and was browsing on facebook looking at pictures etc during my dinner break when one of the members of staff walked past and mentioned that i only have 73 friends, i replied back to here ''these are the people that i keep in contact with on my phone'' (contact being the key word)
She replied ''well i have over 700''
Which i thought bollocks then she showed me, and there it was 721 friends.

Anyway i was like WTF how many of those people that you actually keep in touch with ?
She replied ''all of them''
So i rephased the question ''how many of them are on your phone?''
she said ''no where near that many''

So this got me thinking i thought of face book as getting in touch with old school pals , keeping in touch with mates etc, but im wrong apparently its a contest to see who can have the most friends that you dont know, never seen before people, one night stands or people from Africa who is either after money or a visa.
So i phoned up my girlfriend and asked her how many friends does she have on facebook which she replied ''about 100''
Which is not too bad i guess then she asked ''why?''
which i replied ''just wondering''
So my point being in this useless post,that maybe to some or most people, Facebook is no longer a social network site but a contest for the younger generation to see how many people they can add that they dont know.

Enough dripping for now.
Fair point actually. I have 82 friends and most of them i see or try to speak to on a regular basis. Some of the individuals on here got the "Clown puncher" treatment (see his post) and were culled as i was threaders with having to see 700 photos of the same pointy chevy chase every 5 minutes.
 
#12
Ja5on said:
same happened to me loads of people I knew from school and previous workplaces. I sent a message to everyone asking how they were, then deleted the ones who did not reply within a week and got rid of around 160.
I take it you had 160 mates to start off with then?
 
#13
Clown_Puncher said:
Ja5on said:
same happened to me loads of people I knew from school and previous workplaces. I sent a message to everyone asking how they were, then deleted the ones who did not reply within a week and got rid of around 160.
I take it you had 160 mates to start off with then?
That and his speshul invisible friend known as Jason.

mlaaaaaaarr
 
#14
Clown_Puncher said:
2_deck_dash said:
Get with the times, Facebook is for finding fcuk buddies, everyone knows that.

Play the alphabet game, it is very simple and can get some great results:

Step 1: Do a search for a girl's name beginning with A, i.e. Abby.

Step 2: 'Poke' all the ones who are in your local area and are good looking.

Step 3: Most will ignore you but a few will reply, either by reciprocal poke or message.

Step 4: Send a message back asking to go out for a drink.

Step 5: Go out for a drink.

Step 6: Fcuk them.

Step 7: Do a search for a girl's name beginning with B, i.e. Briony.

Step 8: etc...................................


It's a simple game of numbers and means you will only ever have birds that you find attractive, after all you poked them in the first place because you liked the look of their picture.

Top tip: I recommend using a second Facebook account for this purpose so you don't end up with any stalkers.

Happy hunting!
Or:

Step 1: Get a grip and go to the pub.

Step 2: Recce all the ones who are in your local pub and are good looking.

Step 3: Chat them up.

Step 4: If they refuse to nosh you off there and then ask them to go out for a drink.

Step 5: Go out for a drink.

Step 6: Fcuk them.

Step 7: Repeat ad nauseum.

Step 8: etc...................................
Yeah this method also works well, I find a subtle combination of the two with an occasional little bit of violence thrown in works wonders.
 
#15
Clown_Puncher said:
Ja5on said:
same happened to me loads of people I knew from school and previous workplaces. I sent a message to everyone asking how they were, then deleted the ones who did not reply within a week and got rid of around 160.
I take it you had 160 mates to start off with then?
No around 300 I am creeping up to 270 now time to cull some more I think.
 
#17
Ja5on said:
Clown_Puncher said:
Ja5on said:
same happened to me loads of people I knew from school and previous workplaces. I sent a message to everyone asking how they were, then deleted the ones who did not reply within a week and got rid of around 160.
I take it you had 160 mates to start off with then?
No around 300 I am creeping up to 270 now time to cull some more I think.
A tenner says they're all 12 year old girls who's profile reads thus:

Likes: R nB gud timez x facter and cyder lol
Favourite book: Jordan one lol
Music: Ndubz and Basshunter lol
Religion: don't care lol
Occupation: Skool but i hayte it carnt wait to leeve nad be a wag lol
Dislikes: Peter andry wat a wanka 4 wot he did 2 jordan lol

And I also bet their profile update thingy looks like this:

Tanya: carnt beleeve chanteell omg wat a bitch dat boy 2 gud 4 her lol
 
#18
Clown_Puncher said:
Ja5on said:
Clown_Puncher said:
Ja5on said:
same happened to me loads of people I knew from school and previous workplaces. I sent a message to everyone asking how they were, then deleted the ones who did not reply within a week and got rid of around 160.
I take it you had 160 mates to start off with then?
No around 300 I am creeping up to 270 now time to cull some more I think.
A tenner says they're all 12 year old girls who's profile reads thus:

Likes: R nB gud timez x facter and cyder lol
Favourite book: Jordan one lol
Music: Ndubz and Basshunter lol
Religion: don't care lol
Occupation: Skool but i hayte it carnt wait to leeve nad be a wag lol
Dislikes: Peter andry wat a wanka 4 wot he did 2 jordan lol

And I also bet their profile update thingy looks like this:

Tanya: carnt beleeve chanteell omg wat a bitch dat boy 2 gud 4 her lol
Also.
Likes: Having big fat cocks in every hole, the dirty cnut.
Dislikes: Talking to big fat cocks like Ja5on on facebook..... Dirty cnut.
 
#19
My freind went to 200 yesterday, I thought, I don't know half these twats and I don't like most of the other half. So whilst on my lunch break today I culled it down to about 20 close friends and family. Its a useful way to keep an eye on whats going on at home whilst I am stuck up here in the midlands....missing home...sniff....7 months to go.. keep my chin up.
 
#20
Clown_Puncher said:
Ja5on said:
Clown_Puncher said:
Ja5on said:
same happened to me loads of people I knew from school and previous workplaces. I sent a message to everyone asking how they were, then deleted the ones who did not reply within a week and got rid of around 160.
I take it you had 160 mates to start off with then?
No around 300 I am creeping up to 270 now time to cull some more I think.
A tenner says they're all 12 year old girls who's profile reads thus:

Likes: R nB gud timez x facter and cyder lol
Favourite book: Jordan one lol
Music: Ndubz and Basshunter lol
Religion: don't care lol
Occupation: Skool but i hayte it carnt wait to leeve nad be a wag lol
Dislikes: Peter andry wat a wanka 4 wot he did 2 jordan lol

And I also bet their profile update thingy looks like this:

Tanya: carnt beleeve chanteell omg wat a bitch dat boy 2 gud 4 her lol
Wow thats pretty spot on mate!! 8O :wink:
 

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