FAA Songs

Discussion in 'The Fleet Air Arm' started by boredwafu, Jun 5, 2007.

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  1. Been a while, but I remember the Wardroom being 'lively' with a definate fishead/wafu divide, generally involving quantites of CSB disappearing rapidly followed by somewhat out of tune singing erupting from the depths of drunkeness....doesn't happen anymore, but do you remember the old songs?? A starter for 10....


    How many captions twinkle in the night
    from a Seaking caution advisory?
    I’ll tell you now of some that we’ve had
    and those I miss I’m sure you’ll pardon me

    Rectifier, Fuel Flow, Generator afterglow,
    Main Trans Chip and Auxillary loss of flow
    Not to mention Anti-ice and the Bladefold all aglow
    We shall have to ditch it shortly!

    How many times have we fallen in the night
    From the Seaking system hoverheight?
    I’ll tell you now of one that we had
    when we suffered a small oversight

    Radalt fail, no Doppler height,
    Select me Baralt, no green light,
    overtorque and run and cut as any of us would
    Now we’re recovering by transition from our first selected mission
    As very superior Pilots

    How many Goblins roam the Oceans wide
    Trying to dodge the boys of XXX
    I’ll tell you now of some that we hacked
    and some we fudged by Vectac analysis

    Standby Vectac override, two bloodhounds down by my side
    Drop now now and the weapons running wild
    Now we’re looking for the bubbles of a submarine in trouble
    ‘cos we’re all (squadron name) qualified


    How many Hostiles fly around the skies
    Trying to dodge the boys of 849
    I’ll tell you now of some that we’ve splashed
    And some we’ve fudged by radar and chinagraph

    Standby widger close control, two sidewinders on the pole
    Shoot now now and the missile’s running wild
    Now we’re looking for the blast of a missile up his arse
    ‘cos we’re all 849 qualified

    To the tune "Yesterday"

    HCA- the vis has come right down today
    Now's the time the pilot start to pray
    When he calls for a HCA.
    Suddenly I can't see my hand in front of me
    We're in zereo visibility
    Wings says it's clearing rapidly.
    He has got it wrong again
    I should have known
    Fuel is getting low
    Here I go I'm on my own

    HCA - No fog forecast at the brief today
    That F****ing Met man isn't worth his pay
    He said vis would be 20K
    Suddenly - I hear voices that are dear to me
    Words of wisdom coming from the 'D'
    Suggest you squawk Emergency
    Pan Pan f***ing Pan I need help
    And rapidly
    Make foam - drop smoke floats
    And please recover me...Oh mother

    HCA - Now I'm well below my MLA
    Mother looms out of the murky grey
    If I ditch now it's not my day
    Suddenly - Wheels touch down and I am here to stay
    Oh I thank god for HCA
  2. Here's a couple:

    When I was young I asked my CO,
    What should I do?
    Should I fixed wing,
    should I W#$k cats.....
    It's all the same to me,

    Rotaree, taree, the Sea Kings the bird for me, she flies so gracefully, rotaree, taree etc

    The truckie pilots are so flash
    designer labels, they have all got.
    But ask the ladies, what they prefer
    and a Big Chopper beats the lot.

    Rotary, tary etc

    Fast-jets jockies are so cool
    they sound so punchy, on the RT.
    But when they bang-out, fifty miles out
    they call for rotary.

    Rotaree, taree, the Sea Kings the bird for me, she flies so gracefully, rotaree, taree etc

    Baggers version of Rotaree ...

    When I was young, I asked my CO where to find fame,
    Should I fly fixed wing, should I w*nk cats,
    He said It’s all the same

    Rotaree, taree, the Sea Kings the bird for me, she flies so gracefully, rotaree, taree etc

    Rotary Taree
    The Seaking’s the bird for me,
    She flies so gracefully,
    Rotaree, taree,

    Rotaree, taree, the Sea Kings the bird for me, she flies so gracefully, rotaree, taree etc

    Stovies take off, they sound so punchy, on the RT
    But when they bang out, 50 miles out,
    They call for Rotary.

    Rotaree, taree, the Sea Kings the bird for me, she flies so gracefully, rotaree, taree etc

    Stovies are dull, Stovies are halfwits, they are so drab,
    And if you join them, even at sea,
    Acquire a taste for Crab.

    Rotaree, taree, the Sea Kings the bird for me, she flies so gracefully, rotaree, taree etc

    Wingco takes off, he likes to fly, over the brine,
    And when he lands, on top of the drink,
    He calls for 849

    Rotaree, taree, the Sea Kings the bird for me, she flies so gracefully, rotaree, taree etc

    Now 10 years on, I ask my CO, have these things changed?
    If you fly fixed wing, here’s what he says
    You will end up deranged

    Rotaree, taree, the Sea Kings the bird for me, she flies so gracefully, rotaree, taree etc

    That is our song, now we have sung it,there is no more
    Once you have heard of rotary wing
    How could you ask for more?

    Rotaree, taree, the Sea Kings the bird for me, she flies so gracefully, rotaree, taree etc

    I Dont Want To Be A Stovie

    I don’t want to be a stovie,I don’t want to fly a jet
    I’d rather fly around, with wings that go around
    Two engines on my Westland Seaking
    I don’t want to be a Fish Head
    I don’t want to go to sea
    I’d rather fly my Seaking,my multipurpose Seaking
    So stuff fixed wing it’s rotary for me

    Monday I flew a four hour sortie
    Tuesday I rested in my rack
    On Wednesday I got p*ssed, which is why I missed
    Shareholders on Thursday morning
    Friday I copped an extra duty
    Which buggered up my Saturday a treat
    But on Sunday after supper
    I rammed the f*cker up her
    And so begins another Bagger’s week - Cor Blimey

    The A25 Song

    They say in the airforce a landings okay
    If the pilot gets put and can still walk away
    But in the Fleet Air Arm the prospects are grim
    If the landings piss poor and the pilot can’t swim

    Cracking show, I'm alive,
    But I still have to render my A25

    They taught me to fly in an old Tiger Moth
    A dreadful contraption of wood string and cloth
    It does sixty knots or something fantastic
    A bloody good show for some string and elastic


    When you come o’er the round down and see Wings frown
    You can safely assume that your hook isn’t down
    A bloody great barrier looms up ahead
    Then a pipe on the broadcast 'let’s pray for the dead'


    They gave me a Seafire to beat up the fleet
    I beat up the Rodney and Nelson a treat
    Forgot the tall mast on top of the Formid
    And a seat in the goofers was worth fifty quid


    When the batsman says lower I always go higher
    I turn to starboard and prang my Seafire
    The boys in the goofers all think I am green
    But I get my commission from Supermarine


    I sit on the booster awaiting the kick
    Amusing myself by abusing my pr%@<hidden>
    There goes the green light the thing gives a cough
    Cor blimey says Wings he has tossed himself off


    I fly for a living I don’t fly for fun
    I’m awfully anxious to hack dawn the Hun
    But when it comes to deck landings at night in the dark
    As I told Wings this morning, F#%k that for a lark


    As I roar down the deck in my Martlet Mk4
    Loud in my ears is the Cyclones sweet roar
    Chuff clink clink chuff clink clink chuff clink clink clink
    Away wing on sponson away life in drink


    I thought I was coming in low enough but
    I was 50 feet high when the batsman gave cut
    Loud in my earholes the sweet angels sang
    Float float float float float float barrier prang


    The latest editions the bold Buccaneer
    Filled up with black boxes and Scimitar gear
    But never mind Kruschev you're safe till the days
    When the fu$%&#g great ba$#&%d is fitted with speys


    Now if you fly Vixens you’ve got to be quick
    Cos it climbs very fast when you pull on the stick
    ‘Oh Christ’ said a pilot as heaven drew near
    ‘Pray what do you want’ said a voice in his ear


    The Phantom is highest and fastest and last
    For the time is now come when we sing of the past
    For Wilson and Healey have won in the end
    And there’ll be no flat tops for us to defend


    At pinging the Sea King is remarkably sound
    It’s wings don’t go out they go round and around
    Backwards and forwards and sideways they go
    And they don’t give a f$#k if there balls hanging low


    They taught me to fly in a Chipmunk T10
    I`d fly round and round and then once round again
    The mood of the bird made the landing a farce
    So I'd go round again and fly straight up my arse


    From fixed wing to choppers I quickly moved on
    To find it quite safe with no airspeed clocked on
    But if your descent is too fast for the flow
    Then it's chop chop chop chop and away you will go


    And so front line service I finally saw
    The pilots were good and I viewed them with awe
    But found out the maths were just too much for me
    And ‘F%$k it’said Wings some more stores in the sea


    I led a formation in LFA2
    And lower and lower and lower we flew
    Forgot all the wires and the tips of the trees
    And a pipe back at base, ‘Let us pray for all three’


    There's a bloke an our ship now that everyone knows
    Where he gets his rings from Christ only knows
    He stands up in Flyco and he rants and shouts
    And gobs off about things he knows f%$k all about


    They say in the Air Force a missions OK
    If you drop all your bombs and can still fly away
    But in the Fleet Air Arm they call you a s$#%
    If you drop 21 and get only 1 hit


    The moral of this story is quite plain to see
    A Fleet Air Arm pilot you never should be
    But stay on the shore and get two rings or more
    And go out on the piss every night with a whore
  3. Seaweed

    Seaweed War Hero Book Reviewer

    As an FDO in a DLG the Ship's Flight inculcated me into their culture with the A25 song and others. One of these, The Much Tattooed Lady, I now only partially remember - can anyone fill in the gaps/correct the wording? I think this must be a BPF song from 1945. Still sung 1960s.

    Here goes:

    I paid a quid to see
    A much tattooed laydee.
    Around her neck she wore
    The badge of the Anzac Corps.
    And on her left tittee
    Was a Universitee
    And on the other one
    Was the sign of the dog and gun
    Admiral Nelson, flag and mast,
    And the sign of his dirty past
    And on her left kidnee
    Was a bird’s eye view of Sydney [places it .. must be BPF
    And on her other thigh
    Was a Fairey Firefly [that's what dates it ..
    And on her back was a Union Jack
    And a f---ing great kangaroo [places it ..
    And on her crumpet, her crumpet,
    Tommy Dorsey played his trumpet [dates it too!
    Around the corner, around the corner
    Was the whole of Tennessee - ee- ee!
  4. Anyone remember the words to heads of our own?

    Started something like "we'll have a heads of our own,
    that no-one else will know,
    And we'll keep them a secret from the Wardroom PO........)
  5. Hey Seaweed

    Used to Start off like -

    'My girl from Syd-der-ney
    Means all the World to me
    Under her '..
    . etc.
  6. Alzies again...
    'My girl from Syd-der-ney
    Means all the World to me
    Tattooed from head to knee
    Oh, What a sight to see...

  7. Seaweed

    Seaweed War Hero Book Reviewer

  8. Bored-wafu

    I can add

    "Oh my dear, oh my dear
    I joined the ship last year
    and heard some dreadful stories
    that concerned the lavatories
    and my fears were put right
    that very first night
    when we couldn't find a heads
    that were not closed
    We'll build a heads of our own
    and no one else will know
    and we'll keep them a secret
    from the wardroom PO
    I know they will smell
    but our clientelle
    will be happy with a heads that never close

    A snippet more that someone might add to...

    There's been some urgent craps
    and no doubt some mishaps
    But when you're in a hurry
    cos' you've eaten wardoom curry
    You'll be happy with our heads that do not close
  9. How about this... (work the tune for yourself, it's not difficult, even for the Welsh)

    What's the use of drinking tea
    indulging in sobriety
    in tee-total perversity
    it's healthier to booze
    Pour yourself a brandy
    mix yourself a shandy
    sherry sweet or whisky neat
    or any other liqueur that you fancy
    There's no blinking sense in drinking
    anything that doesn't get you stinking
    There's no happiness like sinking
    blotto to the floor

    What's the use of milk and water
    these are drinks that never oughta
    be allowed in any quarter
    c'mon lose your blues
    - (memory fade)
    Steer well clear of home made beer
    and anything that isn't labelled clearly
    - (memory fade)

    A more obscure one, can any help fill in the blanks?
  10. Pierre,

    I have a number of copies ot the Fleet Air Arm Song Book (200 pages odd) dating from the early 1940's to the present. If you don't have one you are very welcome to a copy. Either pick up at VL at your next (and, I hope, soon) visit or I can mail. No charge to you Mon Brave.

  11. A bit of inter-squadron rivalry - Hermes, 1981. To the tune of 'Men of Harlech':

    Hark, we hear 826 shouting
    sounding like a wives club outing
    Hands on hips and bravely pouting
    typifies the scene

    CSB is hard to handle
    Turns a saint into a vandal
    Half a pint per squadron man'll
    show you what we mean

    We enjoy a bender
    and we'll not surrender
    The wardroom bar's always been ours
    despite the claims of other young pretenders
    "Who owns this pub", it sounds so corny
    814 will take the glory
    Hence the ending to this story
    '14 rules the waves !
  12. A wee bit dated now...but still good.


    You could hear the tyres a bursting as he careered across the deck
    You could hear the goofers laughing as he stumbled from the wreck
    He flew into the circuit with his wings upon his chest
    and he flew the slowest Phantom in the west

    Now Ernie loved a Wren a lovely lass named Sue
    She worked down the road at Lilstock Range, she was only twenty two
    They said she was too good for him, she was haughty, pride and chic
    But Ernie took his missiles there, three times every week
    and he flew the slowest Phantom in the west

    She said she'd like to have a flight, he said right oh sweetheart
    And she gazed at him in wonder as he raised his undercart
    Would you like it straight and level, or at aeros have a crack
    She said "Ernie I'd be happy if you rolls me on me back
    and he flew the slowest Phantom in the west

    But Ernie had a rival, an evil looking swine
    He was swarthy from down the road, the boss of 809
    When he threw it over the shoulder, she knew a longing dread
    She was at a loss with his medium toss, and she nearly lost her head
    His name was Ernie, EEEEEEERRRRNNNMEEEEE,
    and he flew the slowest Phantom in the west

    Now Ernie would not stand for this 'Enoughs enough" he said
    And in the bar that evening he cornered poor old Fred
    You've poked around her quadrant hut, and had your evil fun
    We'll fight for her tomorrow man to man in one v one
    and he flew the slowest Phantom in the west

    They took off the next afternoon, just after half past four
    Full twenty minutes they battled on, and still there was no score
    Then Fred pulled even tighter, he gave it his all
    And Ernie shoved in rudder, and stoofed in off a stall
    and he flew the slowest Phantom in the west

    Ernie did not want to die, he was only twenty eight
    But now he's gone for ever, flying circles in the wait
    Yet is he in a better place, in that airy fairy land
    Where the flying programme always works, and Commander (Airs) are banned
    and he flew the slowest Phantom in the west

    For a woman's needs are many fold, and Sue she married
    Ted And strange things happened on their wedding night
    As they lay in their bed Is that the wind a whistling through the leaves and the dry rot
    Or Ernie’s ghostly Phantom returning to the slot
    They won't forget old Ernie, EEEEEEEEERRRNNNMEEEEE,
    and he flew the slowest Phantom in the west
  13. or to come every base...


    Now my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
    The met man says it's going to snow
    Ops doesn't know where I'm going, nor do 1
    Yes the wind is howling and it's pissing with rain
    The clouds on the deck, 1 think I'm insane
    But let me be airborne, 1 just wanna fly

    CHORUS So brief me and lie and to me, tell me where you think you'll be
    Tell me all the things I need not know
    'Cos Im leaving in my Seaking, don't know if I'll be back again
    Oh wings I hate to go

    Now I'm held on deck for the Harrier boys
    Wingsy's playing with his favourite toys
    1 only want to get out to the screen
    Flash... green grenade on the starboard bow
    But I've been tasked to join the SAU
    Oh 1 just want to hack a submarine

    Now I'm in my sector and marking dip
    This datum's ancient as it has been all trip
    Lord give me contact, let me get a sniff
    You re task me passive, I'll give it a bash
    Send me surface search, I'll fly with panache
    But let me airborne, I just wanna play

    Now the MDR is below half a mile
    But if Ops says try, I'll do it with style
    1 wanna get out there, you know that I'll try
    There's an HDS but the fours got that
    I'll do anything, I'll fly autocat
    Oh let me airborne, 1 just wanna fly

    Now the sorties over and I'm heading back
    Mothers out here somewhere but she's changed her track
    Pass me pigeons 1 know that you'll lie
    Fuel captions flashing, I'm ready to ditch
    My puckered sphincter is beginning to twitch
    Let me find her 1 don't wanna die
  14. Ahh the memories!!!!!!

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