FAA Songs

boredwafu

Lantern Swinger
#1
Been a while, but I remember the Wardroom being 'lively' with a definate fishead/wafu divide, generally involving quantites of CSB disappearing rapidly followed by somewhat out of tune singing erupting from the depths of drunkeness....doesn't happen anymore, but do you remember the old songs?? A starter for 10....

HOW MANY CAPTIONS

How many captions twinkle in the night
from a Seaking caution advisory?
I’ll tell you now of some that we’ve had
and those I miss I’m sure you’ll pardon me

Rectifier, Fuel Flow, Generator afterglow,
Main Trans Chip and Auxillary loss of flow
Not to mention Anti-ice and the Bladefold all aglow
We shall have to ditch it shortly!

How many times have we fallen in the night
From the Seaking system hoverheight?
I’ll tell you now of one that we had
when we suffered a small oversight

Radalt fail, no Doppler height,
Select me Baralt, no green light,
overtorque and run and cut as any of us would
Now we’re recovering by transition from our first selected mission
As very superior Pilots

How many Goblins roam the Oceans wide
Trying to dodge the boys of XXX
I’ll tell you now of some that we hacked
and some we fudged by Vectac analysis

Standby Vectac override, two bloodhounds down by my side
Drop now now and the weapons running wild
Now we’re looking for the bubbles of a submarine in trouble
‘cos we’re all (squadron name) qualified

OR (FOR THE BAGGERS)

How many Hostiles fly around the skies
Trying to dodge the boys of 849
I’ll tell you now of some that we’ve splashed
And some we’ve fudged by radar and chinagraph

Standby widger close control, two sidewinders on the pole
Shoot now now and the missile’s running wild
Now we’re looking for the blast of a missile up his arse
‘cos we’re all 849 qualified

HCA
To the tune "Yesterday"

HCA- the vis has come right down today
Now's the time the pilot start to pray
When he calls for a HCA.
Suddenly I can't see my hand in front of me
We're in zereo visibility
Wings says it's clearing rapidly.
He has got it wrong again
I should have known
Fuel is getting low
Here I go I'm on my own


HCA - No fog forecast at the brief today
That F****ing Met man isn't worth his pay
He said vis would be 20K
Suddenly - I hear voices that are dear to me
Words of wisdom coming from the 'D'
Suggest you squawk Emergency
Pan Pan f***ing Pan I need help
And rapidly
Make foam - drop smoke floats
And please recover me...Oh mother


HCA - Now I'm well below my MLA
Mother looms out of the murky grey
If I ditch now it's not my day
Suddenly - Wheels touch down and I am here to stay
Oh I thank god for HCA
 
#2
Here's a couple:

When I was young I asked my CO,
What should I do?
Should I fixed wing,
should I W#$k cats.....
It's all the same to me,

Rotaree, taree, the Sea Kings the bird for me, she flies so gracefully, rotaree, taree etc

The truckie pilots are so flash
designer labels, they have all got.
But ask the ladies, what they prefer
and a Big Chopper beats the lot.

Rotary, tary etc

Fast-jets jockies are so cool
they sound so punchy, on the RT.
But when they bang-out, fifty miles out
they call for rotary.

Rotaree, taree, the Sea Kings the bird for me, she flies so gracefully, rotaree, taree etc

Baggers version of Rotaree ...

When I was young, I asked my CO where to find fame,
Should I fly fixed wing, should I w*nk cats,
He said It’s all the same

Rotaree, taree, the Sea Kings the bird for me, she flies so gracefully, rotaree, taree etc

Rotary Taree
The Seaking’s the bird for me,
She flies so gracefully,
Rotaree, taree,

Rotaree, taree, the Sea Kings the bird for me, she flies so gracefully, rotaree, taree etc

Stovies take off, they sound so punchy, on the RT
But when they bang out, 50 miles out,
They call for Rotary.

Rotaree, taree, the Sea Kings the bird for me, she flies so gracefully, rotaree, taree etc

Stovies are dull, Stovies are halfwits, they are so drab,
And if you join them, even at sea,
Acquire a taste for Crab.

Rotaree, taree, the Sea Kings the bird for me, she flies so gracefully, rotaree, taree etc

Wingco takes off, he likes to fly, over the brine,
And when he lands, on top of the drink,
He calls for 849

Rotaree, taree, the Sea Kings the bird for me, she flies so gracefully, rotaree, taree etc

Now 10 years on, I ask my CO, have these things changed?
If you fly fixed wing, here’s what he says
You will end up deranged

Rotaree, taree, the Sea Kings the bird for me, she flies so gracefully, rotaree, taree etc

That is our song, now we have sung it,there is no more
Once you have heard of rotary wing
How could you ask for more?

Rotaree, taree, the Sea Kings the bird for me, she flies so gracefully, rotaree, taree etc

I Dont Want To Be A Stovie


I don’t want to be a stovie,I don’t want to fly a jet
I’d rather fly around, with wings that go around
Two engines on my Westland Seaking
I don’t want to be a Fish Head
I don’t want to go to sea
I’d rather fly my Seaking,my multipurpose Seaking
So stuff fixed wing it’s rotary for me

Monday I flew a four hour sortie
Tuesday I rested in my rack
On Wednesday I got p*ssed, which is why I missed
Shareholders on Thursday morning
Friday I copped an extra duty
Which buggered up my Saturday a treat
But on Sunday after supper
I rammed the f*cker up her
And so begins another Bagger’s week - Cor Blimey

The A25 Song

They say in the airforce a landings okay
If the pilot gets put and can still walk away
But in the Fleet Air Arm the prospects are grim
If the landings piss poor and the pilot can’t swim

CHORUS-
Cracking show, I'm alive,
But I still have to render my A25

They taught me to fly in an old Tiger Moth
A dreadful contraption of wood string and cloth
It does sixty knots or something fantastic
A bloody good show for some string and elastic

CHORUS

When you come o’er the round down and see Wings frown
You can safely assume that your hook isn’t down
A bloody great barrier looms up ahead
Then a pipe on the broadcast 'let’s pray for the dead'

CHORUS

They gave me a Seafire to beat up the fleet
I beat up the Rodney and Nelson a treat
Forgot the tall mast on top of the Formid
And a seat in the goofers was worth fifty quid

CHORUS

When the batsman says lower I always go higher
I turn to starboard and prang my Seafire
The boys in the goofers all think I am green
But I get my commission from Supermarine

CHORUS

I sit on the booster awaiting the kick
Amusing myself by abusing my pr%@<hidden>
There goes the green light the thing gives a cough
Cor blimey says Wings he has tossed himself off

CHORUS

I fly for a living I don’t fly for fun
I’m awfully anxious to hack dawn the Hun
But when it comes to deck landings at night in the dark
As I told Wings this morning, F#%k that for a lark

CHORUS

As I roar down the deck in my Martlet Mk4
Loud in my ears is the Cyclones sweet roar
Chuff clink clink chuff clink clink chuff clink clink clink
Away wing on sponson away life in drink

CHORUS

I thought I was coming in low enough but
I was 50 feet high when the batsman gave cut
Loud in my earholes the sweet angels sang
Float float float float float float barrier prang

CHORUS

The latest editions the bold Buccaneer
Filled up with black boxes and Scimitar gear
But never mind Kruschev you're safe till the days
When the fu$%&#g great ba$#&%d is fitted with speys

CHORUS

Now if you fly Vixens you’ve got to be quick
Cos it climbs very fast when you pull on the stick
‘Oh Christ’ said a pilot as heaven drew near
‘Pray what do you want’ said a voice in his ear

CHORUS

The Phantom is highest and fastest and last
For the time is now come when we sing of the past
For Wilson and Healey have won in the end
And there’ll be no flat tops for us to defend

CHORUS

At pinging the Sea King is remarkably sound
It’s wings don’t go out they go round and around
Backwards and forwards and sideways they go
And they don’t give a f$#k if there balls hanging low

CHORUS

They taught me to fly in a Chipmunk T10
I`d fly round and round and then once round again
The mood of the bird made the landing a farce
So I'd go round again and fly straight up my arse

CHORUS

From fixed wing to choppers I quickly moved on
To find it quite safe with no airspeed clocked on
But if your descent is too fast for the flow
Then it's chop chop chop chop and away you will go

CHORUS

And so front line service I finally saw
The pilots were good and I viewed them with awe
But found out the maths were just too much for me
And ‘F%$k it’said Wings some more stores in the sea

CHORUS

I led a formation in LFA2
And lower and lower and lower we flew
Forgot all the wires and the tips of the trees
And a pipe back at base, ‘Let us pray for all three’

CHORUS

There's a bloke an our ship now that everyone knows
Where he gets his rings from Christ only knows
He stands up in Flyco and he rants and shouts
And gobs off about things he knows f%$k all about

CHORUS

They say in the Air Force a missions OK
If you drop all your bombs and can still fly away
But in the Fleet Air Arm they call you a s$#%
If you drop 21 and get only 1 hit

CHORUS

The moral of this story is quite plain to see
A Fleet Air Arm pilot you never should be
But stay on the shore and get two rings or more
And go out on the piss every night with a whore
 

Seaweed

War Hero
Book Reviewer
#3
As an FDO in a DLG the Ship's Flight inculcated me into their culture with the A25 song and others. One of these, The Much Tattooed Lady, I now only partially remember - can anyone fill in the gaps/correct the wording? I think this must be a BPF song from 1945. Still sung 1960s.

Here goes:


I paid a quid to see
A much tattooed laydee.
Around her neck she wore
The badge of the Anzac Corps.
And on her left tittee
Was a Universitee
And on the other one
Was the sign of the dog and gun
...
Admiral Nelson, flag and mast,
And the sign of his dirty past
...
And on her left kidnee
Was a bird’s eye view of Sydney [places it .. must be BPF
...
And on her other thigh
Was a Fairey Firefly [that's what dates it ..
...
And on her back was a Union Jack
And a f---ing great kangaroo [places it ..
...
And on her crumpet, her crumpet,
Tommy Dorsey played his trumpet [dates it too!
Around the corner, around the corner
Was the whole of Tennessee - ee- ee!
 

boredwafu

Lantern Swinger
#4
Anyone remember the words to heads of our own?

Started something like "we'll have a heads of our own,
that no-one else will know,
And we'll keep them a secret from the Wardroom PO........)
 

Pierre_Argh

Lantern Swinger
#8
Bored-wafu

I can add

"Oh my dear, oh my dear
I joined the ship last year
and heard some dreadful stories
that concerned the lavatories
and my fears were put right
that very first night
when we couldn't find a heads
that were not closed
CHORUS
We'll build a heads of our own
and no one else will know
and we'll keep them a secret
from the wardroom PO
I know they will smell
but our clientelle
will be happy with a heads that never close

A snippet more that someone might add to...

There's been some urgent craps
and no doubt some mishaps
But when you're in a hurry
cos' you've eaten wardoom curry
You'll be happy with our heads that do not close
 

Pierre_Argh

Lantern Swinger
#9
How about this... (work the tune for yourself, it's not difficult, even for the Welsh)

What's the use of drinking tea
indulging in sobriety
in tee-total perversity
it's healthier to booze
Pour yourself a brandy
mix yourself a shandy
sherry sweet or whisky neat
or any other liqueur that you fancy
There's no blinking sense in drinking
anything that doesn't get you stinking
There's no happiness like sinking
blotto to the floor

What's the use of milk and water
these are drinks that never oughta
be allowed in any quarter
c'mon lose your blues
- (memory fade)
Steer well clear of home made beer
and anything that isn't labelled clearly
- (memory fade)

A more obscure one, can any help fill in the blanks?
 
#10
Pierre_Argh said:
How about this... (work the tune for yourself, it's not difficult, even for the Welsh)

What's the use of drinking tea
indulging in sobriety
in tee-total perversity
it's healthier to booze
Pour yourself a brandy
mix yourself a shandy
sherry sweet or whisky neat
or any other liqueur that you fancy
There's no blinking sense in drinking
anything that doesn't get you stinking
There's no happiness like sinking
blotto to the floor

What's the use of milk and water
these are drinks that never oughta
be allowed in any quarter
c'mon lose your blues
- (memory fade)
Steer well clear of home made beer
and anything that isn't labelled clearly
- (memory fade)

A more obscure one, can any help fill in the blanks?
Pierre,

I have a number of copies ot the Fleet Air Arm Song Book (200 pages odd) dating from the early 1940's to the present. If you don't have one you are very welcome to a copy. Either pick up at VL at your next (and, I hope, soon) visit or I can mail. No charge to you Mon Brave.

fido
 
#11
A bit of inter-squadron rivalry - Hermes, 1981. To the tune of 'Men of Harlech':

Hark, we hear 826 shouting
sounding like a wives club outing
Hands on hips and bravely pouting
typifies the scene

CSB is hard to handle
Turns a saint into a vandal
Half a pint per squadron man'll
show you what we mean

We enjoy a bender
and we'll not surrender
The wardroom bar's always been ours
despite the claims of other young pretenders
"Who owns this pub", it sounds so corny
814 will take the glory
Hence the ending to this story
'14 rules the waves !
 
#12
A wee bit dated now...but still good.

ERNIE (HE FLEW THE SLOWEST PHANTOM IN THE WEST)

You could hear the tyres a bursting as he careered across the deck
You could hear the goofers laughing as he stumbled from the wreck
He flew into the circuit with his wings upon his chest
His name was Ernie, EEEEEEEEERRRRNNNMEEEEE,
and he flew the slowest Phantom in the west

Now Ernie loved a Wren a lovely lass named Sue
She worked down the road at Lilstock Range, she was only twenty two
They said she was too good for him, she was haughty, pride and chic
But Ernie took his missiles there, three times every week
His name was Ernie, EEEEEEEEERRRRNNNIIEEEEEE,
and he flew the slowest Phantom in the west

She said she'd like to have a flight, he said right oh sweetheart
And she gazed at him in wonder as he raised his undercart
Would you like it straight and level, or at aeros have a crack
She said "Ernie I'd be happy if you rolls me on me back
His name was Ernie, EEEEEEEEERRRRNNNHEEEEEE,
and he flew the slowest Phantom in the west

But Ernie had a rival, an evil looking swine
He was swarthy from down the road, the boss of 809
When he threw it over the shoulder, she knew a longing dread
She was at a loss with his medium toss, and she nearly lost her head
His name was Ernie, EEEEEEERRRRNNNMEEEEE,
and he flew the slowest Phantom in the west

Now Ernie would not stand for this 'Enoughs enough" he said
And in the bar that evening he cornered poor old Fred
You've poked around her quadrant hut, and had your evil fun
We'll fight for her tomorrow man to man in one v one
His name was Ernie, EEEEEEEEERRRRNNNIIEEEEEE,
and he flew the slowest Phantom in the west

They took off the next afternoon, just after half past four
Full twenty minutes they battled on, and still there was no score
Then Fred pulled even tighter, he gave it his all
And Ernie shoved in rudder, and stoofed in off a stall
His name was Ernie, EEEEEEEEERRRRNNNIIEEEEEE,
and he flew the slowest Phantom in the west

Ernie did not want to die, he was only twenty eight
But now he's gone for ever, flying circles in the wait
Yet is he in a better place, in that airy fairy land
Where the flying programme always works, and Commander (Airs) are banned
His name was Ernie, EEEEEEEEERRRMNNIMEEEEE,
and he flew the slowest Phantom in the west

For a woman's needs are many fold, and Sue she married
Ted And strange things happened on their wedding night
As they lay in their bed Is that the wind a whistling through the leaves and the dry rot
Or Ernie’s ghostly Phantom returning to the slot
They won't forget old Ernie, EEEEEEEEERRRNNNMEEEEE,
and he flew the slowest Phantom in the west
 
#13
or to come every base...

1 JUST WANNA FLY (Tune: LEAVING ON A JET PLANE)

Now my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
The met man says it's going to snow
Ops doesn't know where I'm going, nor do 1
Yes the wind is howling and it's pissing with rain
The clouds on the deck, 1 think I'm insane
But let me be airborne, 1 just wanna fly

CHORUS So brief me and lie and to me, tell me where you think you'll be
Tell me all the things I need not know
'Cos Im leaving in my Seaking, don't know if I'll be back again
Oh wings I hate to go

Now I'm held on deck for the Harrier boys
Wingsy's playing with his favourite toys
1 only want to get out to the screen
Flash... green grenade on the starboard bow
But I've been tasked to join the SAU
Oh 1 just want to hack a submarine

Now I'm in my sector and marking dip
This datum's ancient as it has been all trip
Lord give me contact, let me get a sniff
You re task me passive, I'll give it a bash
Send me surface search, I'll fly with panache
But let me airborne, I just wanna play

Now the MDR is below half a mile
But if Ops says try, I'll do it with style
1 wanna get out there, you know that I'll try
There's an HDS but the fours got that
I'll do anything, I'll fly autocat
Oh let me airborne, 1 just wanna fly

Now the sorties over and I'm heading back
Mothers out here somewhere but she's changed her track
Pass me pigeons 1 know that you'll lie
Fuel captions flashing, I'm ready to ditch
My puckered sphincter is beginning to twitch
Let me find her 1 don't wanna die
 

Similar threads

Latest Threads

New Posts

Top