Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Rumrat, Sep 27, 2012.

Welcome to the Navy Net aka Rum Ration

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial RN website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. It was a cold Wednesday night,
    and the weather was shite,
    On a blank week and yes it was raining,
    It was our last week in guzz,
    we were leaving because,
    On Monday we started sea training.
    I was well strapped for dosh,
    and the streets were awash,
    with septics with money aplenty,
    So with me old mates,
    Chalky white, Buster Bates,
    To get some was quite elementary.
    Now the septics are suckers,
    for their family trees,
    And to woo em is easy,
    just put them at ease
    They all trace their families
    to the mayflower ship
    It sure must'a been crowded
    during that little trip,
    Ask any yank where he's from
    he will say
    Stratford on Avon,
    or somewhere that way.
    Yes the Mayflower must have been
    quite a large boat
    There was that many on it
    I'm surprised it would float
    It arrived in Virginia with
    immigrants a plenty,
    But the night that it sailed
    Warwickshire was half empty.
    So to get them to part
    with a drink for poor "Jack"
    You need to distract them
    and give them the yak
    And if you are good,
    and keep them placated
    You can kid em in no time
    you might well be related.
    Whatever they tell you
    you have to agree
    Then pick up on the facts
    build your own family tree,
    lie like a trooper
    you've all got it in ya
    By the time that I finish
    I owned west Virginia
    I've had more pilgrim fathers
    depart from my clan
    I invent them piecemeal
    if they fit in my plan
    I've invented more relatives
    than America has had
    Ten pilgrim fathers and
    then one of them's dad,
    grandfather pilgrims
    were rather quite rare
    but if it gets me a wet
    then I don't fuckin care.
    George Washington came
    from a street near to us
    just 200 miles
    on a very fast bus
    I've laid claim to more castles
    than ever was built,
    I've worn every tartan
    on every kilt
    William the conqueror,
    a mate of my dad,
    Richard the lionheart?
    the best friend that I've had.
    I've told them of family
    that live in the states
    persuaded them sometimes
    our dads could be mates
    And in the 7Th cavalry
    well naturally so
    my granny served
    with distinction you know
    I've had drinks bought me
    for tales of the gentry,
    related to dukes?
    well yes that's rudimentary,
    I could trace both his and my families
    to Hereward the wake
    Queen Victoria ? no problem
    well for goodness sake
    Every one living twix bedford and crew
    had relatives in Salem
    that drank witches brew
    The yarns that I've spun
    have been bollocks but funny
    But I've never told anyone
    the queen was my mummy
    I did say to one
    I was heir to the crown
    I think I'm 30 millionth,
    and its not counting down
    Now back to the story
    in guzz yes I think
    we told a good yarn
    and got shit loads of drink.

Share This Page