Excersise

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by The_Caretaker, Jan 5, 2011.

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  1. > Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this
    > true?
    >
    > A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't
    > waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up
    > your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can
    > extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
    > Take a nap.
    >
    >
    > Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
    >
    > A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and
    > corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an
    > efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need
    > grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green
    > leafyvegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended
    > daily allowance of vegetable products.
    >
    >
    > Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
    >
    > A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,
    > that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even
    > more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms
    > up!
    >
    >
    > Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
    >
    > A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to
    > one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
    >
    >
    > Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
    > exercise programme?
    >
    > A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good
    >
    >
    > Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
    >
    > A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.
    > In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be
    > bad for you?
    >
    >
    > Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
    > middle?
    >
    > A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
    > should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
    >
    >
    > Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
    >
    > A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!!
    > It's the best feel-good food around!
    >
    >
    > Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
    >
    > A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
    >
    >
    > Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
    >
    > A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
     

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