I got a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend of mine the other day. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic nights we used to enjoy together. I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that 'magic'. "Wow!" I said, nearly dropping the handset, "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now! I'm a bit older and a bit balder than when you last saw me!" She just giggled down the phone and said she was sure I'd rise to the challenge!!! "Yeah" I said, "just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistline that's a few inches wider these days!" She laughed and told me to stop being so silly! She teased me saying that tubby bald men were cute! "Anyway", she giggled, "I've put on a few pounds myself!".......... So I told her to f*ck off.