Ex & crabs

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by jjp23, Nov 27, 2009.

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  1. I dunno if this is in the right place but anyway....

    As some of you will know i am joining the RN in march so i have not even started yet. But i my ex mrs has just sent me a message giving me a load of sh*t about it because she has joined the crabs.

    Perhaps someone could explain this to me? I understand they don't like eachother but is it really that bad, i mean i haven't started and i am getting shit.

    For the record i have promptly told her to fuck off and that the RN is the senior service and a few other insults. It's a good job she moved away or i would be borrowing 2DD and CP's rape kit!!!! :twisted:

    Edited to add...yes i have realised that the topic makes it sound like my ex passed an unfortunate medical issue on to me :D !
  2. Go back and re-read your letter Son...She's probably telling you she's got crabs.

    Eeewwwwwww. Meet her in Spanners before it closed did you? :wink:
  3. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Listen mate. The crabs are hated by all and sundry as they are complete wankers with attitudes the size of the Russian steppe. They have never got over the fact that they hail from the Army and are staffed by the most obnoxious cunts known to man or beast. Down in the Falklands, they look down their noses at anyone not RAF. Mind you, it was always good if you wanted a punch up. Saying that, i pulled a WRAF down there and went back to her room, shagged her brains out, pissed in her sink and stole a pair of her knickers, which ended up flying from one of my antennas as a badge of honour.

    If you are joining the forces, only ever consider the Army or the RN. Simple.

    The RAF Regiment are exempt because they are actually ok as they hate the RAF proper as well
  4. Seconded.
  5. Tell you what though, the RAF didn't half used to look after their, well, equivalent of ratings. I was at a camp of theirs for a month nearly 20 years ago now and they had the facilities that is only been in the RN for the last few years. Single living accomodation, decent dining halls ashore etc.

    I had a fridge in my cabin and you were allowed to buy ale in the NAAFI and keep it in your cabin...as an AB.

    Unheard of at the time in the mob like.

    Agree with you both up above there,^^^^^Their officers were right wánkers.
  6. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    That's the thing about them. They are jack as fuck. If you wanted to eat in their cordon blue cookhouse in MPA, you would have to hide your beret or they would kick you out as you were not "One of them". Utter, utter wankers.

    PS. Fathoms up a tramp? Been listening to Shep Wooley?
  7. No, it's an old song we used to sing when I was Plymouth based on the Battleaxe in the early 80's.

    Just an Oggyland song I guess.
  8. I wouldn't worry about it. As she is in the RAF she has had her social skills sucked out of her by polyester clad homosexuals during whatever chodfest the spastics use for basic training. Be thankful she is your ex and not your missus, as being anywhere near that dogrape of a service would have led you to murder her and then yourself.

    If it makes you feel any better, I go through about 4 WAFs a month, so if you like I could asphyxiate her during dry anal in the SNCO's drying room if you like.

    Only personnel with a complete absence of style, self respect, sense of humour, backbone, courage, moral fibre, panache, physical strength or personal standards join the RAF. That is why the Army and ourselves are stacked full of Gods and those civvy shitspitters gob off from the safety of a 15th floor hotel window. Or if you're in Afghanistan, Alu Died. REMF cnuts.
  9. Err, a song by...Shep Wooley.

    The shame: Perce 1 - Jack 0
  10. You are taking the p1ss I presume?

    That song was being sung in various forms as far back as world war 2. I know that because my now deceased Dad used to sing it, and he served from 1939 to 1945 (War years). Ships as diversde as Repulse, Illustrious, Bulldog and MTB's from Hornet.

    There is also a mention of it in Cyril Tawney's book 'Grey Funnel Lines', once again, dealing mainly with older songs from the war years up to the 60's.

    Shep Wooley started singing it (I believe) in the late 70's/early 80's.

    I was asked 'had I been listening to Shep Wooley' reference my sig? I hadn't, it was a song, like I said, that we used to sing on HMS Battleaxe in 1984, before I'd even heard of this Shep Wooley fella.

    Please don't engage in an argument armed only with a blunt pencil up each nostril and a triangular hat with a huge 'D' on it mate.
  11. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    I'll ask him when i see him next. We had a sing song together on remembrance day and if i remember correctly, he was going to re-string my guitar. Top bloke he is.

    But back on topic, crabs are wankers. Did i mention that?
  12. Hahaha.

    Just had a look at that myself (Cyril Tawneys 'Grey Funnel Lines'), and he mentions the song was penned by a fella named Ivor Burnston. In his book 'I joined the Navy and saw the world', Ivor also writes:

    Shep may have added his own slant on it (I imagine he did), or just plagiarised it from the messdecks. I honestly don't know because I've never listened to a single thing by Shep Wooley. I know of him, of course, but I've never actually listened to him.

    That other poster asked me had I been listening to Shep Wooley reference that song. I truthfully replied no, it was just a song we used to sing on the Battleaxe in 1984. Mr smart-arsé then came on and made a cúnt of himself over it.

    Good luck with the guitar, I'm trying to learn how to play the guitar myself.
  13. If you want to be the best, go Army.

    If you want to be just a little bit better than the RAF then go RN.... sail around the world most of your life but do not worry pal.
  14. And you would know of course. :violent3:
  15. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    When did you serve?

  16. ... If you want to be better than any of the above Join the Marines
  17. Aye, preferably post full-frontal lobotomy. :wink:
  18. Royal Marines...
  19. CRAB = Dyslexic writing C**T
  20. Submarines...

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