Can the team please bloody tell me why anyone would elect to
appear on the TV programme "Embarrasing illnesses/Bodies"
or whatever it's bloody called. I got home from a hard days graft
and settled in to have my scran in the kitchen, and afterwards, I
ambled into the living room with a Douwe&Egberts and a rather
delicious custard slice....and THAT f***ing programme was being
perused by the wife.

Now -just as I am about to sink my teeth into my delicious cake -
with a view to sucking all the nice cold set custard from in between
the layers of puff pastry, some bint appears on the telly gets on
the doctors couch, spreads her legs and says;

"It's my vagina doctor.......it's red raw, all swollen and leaks about
a litre and a half of stinking discharge thats looks like the contents
of a few tins of cheap Happy Shopper custard"

"What d'you think it is?"

Cue the camermans close up - all in 72 inch, surround-sound high
f***ing definition.


Why in Christopher Biggins name would any suffering soul volunteer
to appear on this programme eh?

If YOU had a dick covered in warts the size of mutant Shitake mushrooms,
and piles dangling out your slot like bags of f***ing marbles would YOU
volunteer to show it all to a wider viewing audience?

These males and females do not only have f***ing 'orrible diseases
(usually around the fanny/dick/bollocks/arse)...but I think their brains
might need a wee bit of attention also.
If Mrs NoMates can stare up a festering fanny whilst
simultaneously troughing a plate of extra large jam
doughnuts and utter the comment;

"It's only a f***ing flesh wound...."

Then I'll go and hoover the bedrooms and put the
washing out. She's half Italian and extremely dangerous
if the VirginMedia Remote is not within easy reaching distance.

And her dad used to knock around with Ronnie and Reggie
back in the days of unlimited violence on the streets of London.
To answer BNM's question I think they have resorted to a public display of their unpleasant afflictions(or whatever) because they think the good old NHS has not met their expectations.The problem makers point them in the direction of a top private consultant and any recommended work is carried out privately if necessary with the production team picking up the bill.Some do end up back with the NHS but only after the correct diagnosis has been sorted out.

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