Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Jenny_Dabber, May 3, 2006.

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  1. Ok, we have all been played with Easys/bites!

    I remember joining my 1st ship, within a few weeks I was standing on my 1st BM watch. The 2 LSM's were always trying to get me on bites, all the frigging time!

    One afternoon, one of them approached me. " Can you please pipe,
    Duty WE to the exorset mag".

    Moi being the brand new sprog picked up the broadcast and was about to pipe until I realised that 22's don't have exorset!

    I was played when I first joined with;

    'Can you go to the SC and ask for a long stand/weight'

    'Can you go to the buffer's shack and ask for a glass hammer'

    Wasn't long till I was playing the new members! What are the best bites you have heard or tried?
  2. Not really a bite,true story ,CabledeckBulwark 79, killick Fishead,sent one of his boys to the quarterdeck to get a Maul,boy came back with all quarterdeck hands.
  3. I remember on my first ship being asked to do Fog Watch - that seemed plausable! What wasn't so plausable (now) was standing on the bridge wing in the beautiful summers day pointing out any "fog patches" that I saw. Got a good clear view of the ships helicopter taking a photo of me miles away though!
  4. Anya, whilst me T22s did have Exocet, none would have had an Exocet mag.

    I had a good easy today. One of the lads walked into the workshop wth a large set of pipecutters over his shoulder.
    "What that you,ve got there" says I
    If you are in earshot of a good easy, its considered polite to intone the word EASY in order to remind the victim of his predicament. Research conducted on a sister site suggests that in the army an easy is referred to as a Wah!
  5. Fog Watch... interesting. I can remember that when I was told that I was on the Dog Watch as a Baby RO, despite all that training I was momentarily confused and thought, as we were moored in Gib, that I was supposed to look out for stray dogs attempting to board ship. :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
  6. "JRO *****, (that's a clue) go down Naval Stores and get some tiles for the main roof"
  7. The best one I've seen is electricity bills - sticking a bill knocked up on Navystar with the ship's crest etc on it in someone's cabin. Then, if they don't bite, one of the leccy's taking the fuse out for his cabin and sticking another note in the cabin saying the electricity's been cut off for non payment. Poor chap in question got very strange looks when he turned up in the ship's office asking if he could pay his electricity bill.
  8. FlagWagger

    FlagWagger Book Reviewer

    On minesweepers there was always the job of Oropesa jockey; for the benefit of those not privileged enough to have served on MCMVs, the Oropesa floats are those funny torpedo looking thingies towards the back of that deck that's in place of the flight deck! :)

    The role of the Oropesa jockey is simply to ride the Oropesa float (dangerous job attracts hazardous duty pay, if you can get the Skipper to approve the request) to ensure that the kites and / or depressors are true in the water. Victim is usually kitted out in dry-bag, HDLJ, etc and in some cases even winched onto the Oropesa float prior to its immersion.
  9. In the corps it was referred to as a 'Reet Deet Deet'

  10. AH the good old days...as a baby flunkie on first ship, was told by hookie to go get a new bulb for the deadlight, and get some bird seed for the budgie ( was on tribals ) oh, and there was get some milk for the sea cat.

    brace .brace. brace.
  11. My bad, wasn't around during that generation :wink:
  12. On joining 707 NAS as a baby feild training Tiff, there were attempts to send me to stores to get a Sky Hook, and to the Inflam store to get some K9P!
  13. Shed loads, some real others legend.
    Favourite ones were always the HQ1/SCC watchkeeper bites.
    Ted Rogers Dockyard Matey 321, Writer Mailey Ships Office, RS Cosworth etc. etc. Too many to remember.
    How many have been bitten by the Gib Money Changing dit or Bunk Light Bills?
    The best mass bite I ever saw was when a day out from Gib the call for volunteers for the Ape Cull went out on daily dits. The response was overwhelming with over 40 volunteers mustered in the hangar for the brief. Better still was the few Jennys who turned up to protest at the cruelty and tried to get the cull binned!!! Bless.
  14. Lairne Target Coxn was also a good one. Had one lad in dry bag and scuba mask waiting at the main access hatch for boat tx.
    Best one I saw was sending a lad back aft with a poly bag full of water, asking to load the SSE with a water shot.
  15. Best I heard of was having a trainee on the squadron given the job of replacing the blown fuse for the Beta lights
  16. Once had a baby Dusty training to be a PTA observer. The Sick bay had him go through a medical, a few circuits of the sports field and then an interview with the DO.
    It took him a while to realise it was a windup.
  17. I've suddenly had a terrible thought... 8O JRO delivering full mugfuls of hot tea to the adults, told that it's not because I'm new but it helps baby sailors find their sea legs quicker - all that careful balancing of mugs on an inverted biscuit tin lid with warning of dire punishments should I spill any (crikey) :oops: :lol: And all that time I thought it was true...
  18. Penguin Shoot (Falklands), Splash Target Coxswain, asking the MAA for a thick Regulator, Foreign Money changing in Gib & Scotland. Happy days.
  19. But beware of the Clever Bar-steward.

    Quarter Deck of Tenby Dartmouth Training Squadron. PO sends Cadet for a bucket of steam, said lad disappears.with bucket. Returns later clutching the bucket with a well folded cloth. The top of the bucket was also covered by a cloth. Up to said PO as the troops and Cadets looked on giggling. Pulls cloth of bucket, full of steam.

    Very sick PO shouts at the rest of us to get turned two and stomps off. The lad had gone down to clanky's place heated both bucket and lid cloth then filled same with steam.

  20. Tropical berets, and lack thereof onboard to be investigated.

    Only got caught on that one because it was the head Bish (and not one noted for his sense of humour) that told me to go and locate some. Would have been more suspicious had it been anyone else.

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