Dubiuous claims to fame

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Guzzler, Feb 6, 2012.

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  1. Pinched from next door again. Your association with someone famous please.

    I once shagged a bint who claimed she'd been shagged by Ollie Reed. Before he died.
     
  2. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    I've got loads, but i like this one;

    I once snogged Neil Kinnocks daughter Rachel, and copped a feel of her tit.
     
  3. I once stopped that Activia yoghurt bird who is in 'Love Actually' from getting in to a backstage party with 'f uck off fatty'
     
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  4. I saw Steve Davis doing a crossword in The Harrington pub in Kensington.

    Not all that exciting, but fits a nice stereotype.
     
  5. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    I had a piss next to Jarvis Cocker at a David Bowie gig.
     
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  6. I went to primary school with Neville Southall's daughter.

    Um, that's it I think.
     
  7. The Bill used to film a lot in Wimbledon when I lived there in the early 90s. One night a load were in my local and 'Carver' and one of the others went to the heads together. They were some time and came out rubbing their noses.

    I was disgusted at the hypocrisy next time I saw him bust someone for naughty drugs.

    ...and then, of course, I remembered...

    Edit: Who put that there! Not me.
     
  8. Watched in amazement as the landlord of my local was being even ruder than usual to a customer who was simply enquiring if a sandwich was possible after being told the kitchen was closed for hot meals.

    She was Clare Grogan, (Altered Images, Gregory's Girl etc.), doing a thing for local TV.

    No wonder he went bankrupt with that attitude.
     
  9. The guy who taught me my first chords on guitar once played with a group of scousers in Hamburg in '61.........they made it big..... he didn't !
     
  10. That reminds me....I worked with I guy that claimed to have been in the band that went on to become Franz Ferdinand. Personally I think he was a big-timing, shite spewing cunt.
     
  11. So come on then, who were they?
     
  12. I was an unpaid extra in a super low production film with Danny Dyer and some ginger tramp set in a pub I lived in for a while. God I hate dyer, what a knob.

    I also annoyed the shit out of loads of Gary Numan fans after a concert at empire. I successfully identified the unusual serial code I saw on teh back of his Gibson Les paul and impressed him to such an extent I stood talking with him about geeky guitar tech stuff for 20 minutes, royally pissing off all teh 40 something goth saddo's whom had queued up for ours just to breath the same air as him. lol!
     
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2012
  13. That's interesting (no piss take). I'd always thought he was a knob extrodinaire when seeing him strut around as though he has rickets, but good to hear it from someone with closer contact. Grade A cunt in my humble opinion.

    Edit: Danny Dyer now you've changed stuff fussypants.
     
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  14. Can I sniff your cock?
     
  15. Well if the wind's in the right direction and you're within 30 miles I suppose it's feasible.
     
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  16. I taught James Blunt to powerboat. Didn't call him a cunt either. He actually has good banter.
     
  17. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    I've met him a couple of times. He was in my Regiment don't you know?
     
  18. Did he lick your bottom though?

    Argghh! Not Rat - the bint.

    Mind you, having said that...
     
  19. Almost got dragged into an orgy with the Green power ranger, now he is a massive knob-end. Mainly because he stopped me from going backstage with Rufus Wainwright. Cock.
     
  20. My boss opened up a new nightclub in Brum,on the opening night the star was Matt Monroe one of my favourites.
    I was to play the piano in the lounge away from the big concert hall.
    I played then went up to the bar for a drink,in walks Matt Monroe after finishing his performance.
    My boss told him I was the piano player and Matt[bit of me showing off there!] started to sing as he was a bit under the weather then,he had a ferocious fondness for Brandy,and told me to join in.
    The song was "Till" I told him I knew it and I'd go over to the piano but he said "I'll sort that out"
    He started I joined in and the Piano started up! I looked over to see Winnie Attwell playing!
    I never knew she was a clever lady and was Monroe's agent.
    There you have it,I sang a duet with Matt Monroe with Winnie Attwell playing.
    They were top stars I was,and remained, a nobody but I won't forget it.
     
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