Drunk Falls Asleep On Railway Track

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by slim, Dec 15, 2006.

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  1. Ale must have been better that that crap served up last night.

    Watered down was mentioned the question I ask can beer be watered down?? with it being a pressurised container.

    I do know in the UK one of my pints is BOMBARDIER and this had no bite at all. One to beam back to Dublin Scotty for real type Guinness.
  2. obviously not a sailor as they would have fell asleep at the bar!!!!!
  3. Have you considered the trauma to any train driver who might not have been able to stop and then run over him. I am sure that the medical bods amongst us would be happy to describe the sort of injuries he would suffer.

    This is clearly a matter of concern to the train drivers' employers because they do provide counselling for drivers who are involved in a one under, and interestingly a driver who is involved in such an incident is not permitted to go back along the track to check on the body - it has to be done by a guard or another driver. They are immediately taken out of the train cab, not allowed to drive home and are given time off to recover.
  4. Where do I sign!!
  5. This was obviously a stupid thing for this gent to do, but he was pissed, and we all know that we do stupid things when pissed!!
    Only the other night when returning home from my local via the railway track, did i come across a young women lying across the track! I of course carried her to safety but then had my wicked way with her!! On relating the story to my oppo the next night in the pub he said what a lucky barstwerd i was, and did i get a blow job? I said of course not,..i couldn't find her head!!!!!!!!! :D :D :) :) Now lets get serious please!
  6. hehehehehe,,,bad boy...... :twisted: :twisted:
  7. Cheeky boy! They'd have remained completely sober after 14 pints whilst everyone else in the pub would be lying across the tracks waiting for the PO Stoker to drive his toy train set over their third legs. :wink: :lol:

    Tooot! Tooot! Choo... Choo... Choo... Choo...
  8. Enough said really rosie!! The injuries that an individual would sustain from a fast moving train speaks for itself!! I've had a run of really traumatic jobs at work recently which culminated in a 7 week old baby in respiratory failure at 04:00hrs this morning. Not a good day for the nutty_bag!! :cry:

  9. A squished head and chopped off feet!Amazed me how he didnt fry himself on the 3 rd rail!!!!
  10. Common practice, release pressure, add one gallon of water = additional £20 clear profit and not really noticable to the drinker (standard keg)

    Mild/dark beer is the worst, as instead of water they add all the drip trays at the end of the evening
    In Yorkshire the overspill is actually sent direct to the mild barrel

    Ex matelot Ex service engineer who witnessed such during closed hours whilst repairing equipment. along with topping up the Cane Rum with white spirits, (then called the police when the under-agers went wild after their Bacardi and cokes)

    Jack McHammocklashing
  11. Hiya Rosie
    We had a chap in a while ago [2 years] who slipped into a [Combined harvester/woodchipper], an RN Surgeon was on duty that day & went out with the Emergency team with an Amputation set , he managed to get the chap into the hospital without Amputation , saved the foot for 2 days , he unfortunately lost it in the following couple of days , but goes to show that the services do serve the whole country , every ward in Derriford Hospital must have Service Persanal working on it , proud of all of them
  12. Dondon, I agree with you. When I broke my leg in Spain I was plastered up and sent home to be operated on in QA. My surgeon was an Army doc, I know this because I could hear his shoes tapping before I could see him. Four years on and all I have are some fading scars and some aches when it is going to turn cold.

    As an aside, the day that I arrived I looked like death, having not eaten or slept for two days and when I met my surgeon he was an absolute god! George Clooney only better!

    I believe he went to Iraq shortly afterwards to do his duty out there.
  13. I know you all think this is rather amusing, but I would like to set the scene.

    You are the train driver of the Heathrow express from Paddington to Heathrow. You are approaching a non stopping station at up to 90mph. You may or may not catch sight of a woman with a pram at the end of the platform, holding the hand of another small child. By the time you register what is happening she has jumped onto the line, under your train. You are momentarily aware of a flash of something, followed by a horrible clunking sound as she, the child and the pram go under the front wheels. You cannot feel any sensation as she and the child have been cut in half by 35tonnes of train. But you might even be able to hear the pram being dragging along by a wheel.

    You then slam on the brakes and it can take you up to a mile to stop. In the meantime you are beginning to feel sick and shaky. You could be suffering from the first signs of shock.

    You need some time of to recover and if you are lucky you will not suffer from PTSD.

    Now think of the poor medics who have to clear up the mess left behind.

    Still funny?
  14. One less in for scran!!! The light weight!!! :lol:

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