We've all been there haven't we? You know, when you've had just a wee bit too much to drink and then have a great idea which turns out to be not so great. I've got fucking hundreds (more will be added later) but will tell you a mild one to get you going. Many moons ago, i was preparing for some big fuck off parade or something and was in the process of bulling my boots. An oppo of mine told me to stop being so ghey and come to the NAAFI for a couple of cheeky sherberts. It would have been the height of bad manners to refuse, so off i toddled with him to partake of one or twelve. Three hours later, i went back to the billet, pissed to the eyeballs, and decided it would be a wizard idea to continue with my boots. I was still in the layering stage and as the polish was drying up a bit in the tin, i decided to melt it. I applied my lighter to the polish, which went up like a NASA rocket launch. Watching it burn and bubble, it had a certain hypnotic effect on me that resulted in me falling asleep. Now forget chip pans, burning tins of Kiwi are as unpredictable as an African government. The next thing i knew, the chap i shared the room with had woken me up screaming and chucked my beer all over the tin, which spread the fire onto my bed. To put the bed out, i used my muckers duvet, which went down like the fucking Titanic with him. The room was filled with evil smelling smoke, there were burn marks everwhere and what did i do? That's right, i was sick all over my oppo's kit. All this because of the drink. Turns out my good idea was in fact a shit one. Feel free to contribute your howlers.