War Hero
Me and the wife were in bed one morning when she said, "I had a strange dream last night. I dreamed I was at a penis auction. Long penises were going for £100 and thick penises were going for £300." I asked, "What would mine go for?" She replied, "They were giving ones like yours away for free." I said, "I also had a dream last night about an auction where they were selling juicy vaginas for £500 and tight vaginas for £1,000." "How about mine?" the wife asked, and I replied, "That was where they were holding the auction."