Dream world.

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Rumrat, Jun 29, 2010.

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  1. I have tonight had a veil lifted (metaphorically) from my eyes.Whilst sitting in my chair pondering on the important facets of my life, I suddenly had an amazing Epiphany.
    I now realise that alcohol drastically affects most of the other aspects of my life.
    It causes rows with the war office, it makes my kids opinion of me sink, and whilst supporting a family, it puts a strain on finances that would be spent on improving the lot of the family.
    It is not conducive with cars at all, both splitting resources between the two, and hazarding your life when driving full of it.
    I have therefor made a monumental change to my life as from tomorrow morning.

    Pass the bottle and they can all fuck off, taking the car with them :D :roll: :twisted:

    Whats your dream?
  2. My dream is that I invent a computer program that can electrify keyboards so that all spammers, bone idle newbies and anyone else who gets on my wick can receive a minimum of 230V when they send/post shite.

    Even better if they have a webcam and you can see it happening.
  3. The only draw back to an otherwise spiffing idea, is that you would use it on poor me. :cry:
    I hate you. :roll: :D :wink:
  4. You're safe, one should never abuse the forum ethnic unnecessarily
  5. Now you see I love you again. :D :roll: :wink:
  6. They do say once you've gone black

    you're certifiable :wink:

  7. We opened a school for white bitches.
    We teach them to walk again after the bro bin dun it. :twisted: :D :roll:
  8. I dream of a world where unsuccessful football teams may be thrown to lions.( or maybe kenny..) Where does that sound familiar?
  9. Hmmmmm I dream of a world where cyclists and slow drivers can be culled at the side of the road. Were criminals are crucified or for less serious offences made slaves with obedience collars were push a and the head goes bang. :D
  10. Yes well two points

    1/ I always stick to cycle or tow paths and... :(
    2/ I already wear an obedience collar,... round here it's called a wedding ring. 8O :roll:
  11. A World where all sand niggers would be forcibly deported back to their country of origin and all mosques converted to youth clubs.

    Where a zero tolerance policy is implemented on the streets, and birching brought back for miscreants that break the law.

    Women drivers only allowed on the roads between 9-11pm.

    The duty on alcohol reduced to that of continental countries.

    A wage cap put on fotballers salaries, and obscene banker's bonuses scrapped.
  12. I dream of inventing a male pill that,when taken at night,changes your DNA in the morning!
    What man wouldn't want that,and pay for it!
  13. I dream of a day when mobile phones have alcohol sensors on them so you cant use them when pished.
    We have all done it and regretted it immediatly upon call the hands.
  14. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    SOTF: :wink:

  15. Dream of the day when I get all 6 numbers on the Lottery the jackpot is thirty six million quid, only to find that there's been thirty six million winning tickets.
  16. i dream of the day when everyone finally accepts that there is not going to be world peace
  17. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    I found the girl of my dreams, yesterday, whilst in the vegetable section in Tesco.

    Although they don't like you calling it the "vegetable section" anymore, do they? It's "Disabled Toilets" these days, apparently...
  18. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    JJ had his dreams crushed yesterday.

    It turns out the newspaper headline "Village Still Looking for Paedophile" wasn't a vacancy... :shock:
  19. :D :lol: :D :lol: :D :lol: :D :lol: :D :lol: :D :lol:

    Edit - the vegetable one.

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