The papers aren't ironed but a serving wench will turn the pages of your breakfast broadsheet unbidden. The same serving wenches will help less cultured and capable officers with the bigger words in the lesser papers.
If apricot jam is passed off as marmalade and it's in 'portion control' sachets, complain.
They're hidden away though and you'll have to ask the hall porter. They used to be found in the cupboard under lock and key with the irons! If that's changed or not though I'm unsure, as all this is half a year out of date give or take
Coming from an ex pongo that’s petty harsh.
As an ex Sun dodger I used to have a 30 sec (liked wasting water) shower every day, unless under the ice or the water maker was broke, then it became sometimes. We used to have a 3 feet rule, if anyone could stand within 3 feet of you, you did not need a wash.