Do you hear there?

#41
HMS INVINCIBLE, 2003 -

"do you hear there, this is a rhetorical question"

Good ship's cat on there too. Also never caught.

"PWO from the Ops Room, commence SOCs, standard and group line checks"
"meiow"
"SOCs, standard and group line checks complete, and be on warning, I'm going to strangle that cat one fine morning."
 
#43
In the 1970s the !st Lieut of a ship in the South Atlantic during quite a vicious gale made the following pipe "Do you hear there. The upper deck is out of bounds to ships company due to wet water". He shall remain anonymous.
Nearly washed all the fecking Red Paint off. Oops I think I might have given it away.
 
#46
"D'YOU HEAR THERE. ALL THOSE WHO MISSED THE MUSTER SHOULD MUSTER FOR THE MIS-MUSTER AT ZERO NINE ZERO ZERO WHEN THE MIS-MUSTER MUSTER WILL BE MUSTERED. THERE WILL BE NO FURTHER MUSTER, MIS-MUSTER OR MIS-MUSTER MUSTER AFTER THIS MIS-MIS MUSTER SO PERSONNEL WHO MISSED THE MIS-MUSTER MUST MUSTER AT THIS MIS- MUSTER. THIS IS THE LAST MUSTER, MIS-MUSTER-MUSTER"
 
#47
RFA Argus, en route to the Adriatic in 1991 from Marchwood as the former Yugoslavia became problematical. Large amounts of Army kit on board, including 105 mm guns and assorted vehicles taking up most of the flight deck. Assorted Army personnel, mostly gunners, wandering around somewhat bemused.
Headed down Southampton Water, turned left. First question from one Percy gazing at the Isle of Wight: "Is that France?" East around the Island then turned right down the Channel, weather deteriorating.
Percies still wandering around, and with the ship beginning to pitch the pointy bit became a bit wet. The Chief Officer ordered a pipe: " The fo'csle is out of bounds until further notice."
A few minutes later, he ordered another: "For embarked personnel, the fo'csle is the triangular bit on the other side of the big grey block of flats from your artillery park".
 
#48
Sunday.

D'yah hear there. There will be an internat, there will be an intredemons, there will be an internal demo.

Sod it, there will be a church service in the tunnel in 15 minutes.
 
#49
Faslane, one Christmas Eve, long-long ago. Urgent pipe over the Main Broadcast.

"Bandits! Bandits! Bandits! All personnel be on the lookout for a one-legged Faslane peace camp activist
dressed as Father Christmas who has climbed the security fences and has accessed the naval base."

(Yeah right...that was a bite right?)

Wrong! A one-legged dreadlocked tree hugging peace camp activist dressed as Father Christmas hopped
down the gangway of one of the Resolution Class SSBN's and hurled himself down the Main Access Hatch.

All rather embarrasing really.
 
#51
"darken ship, darken ship - the whole of the upper deck is now out of bounds; anyone wishing to proceed onto the upper deck must first go through the officer of the watch"

- always gave me a mental image of the OOW standing by one of the bridge doors with a samson bar gladiator stylee. Probably why they changed it to "contact"
 

redmonkey

Lantern Swinger
Book Reviewer
#52
On the Ark we had " No smoking no naked lights, 5deck and below, Lima section, venting fresh water tanks.
Could be a gen pipe as we had sucked up a lot of diesel and you came out the showers stinking of it. Certainly not safe to have a cigarette at the same time as your shower.
 
#53
"darken ship, darken ship - the whole of the upper deck is now out of bounds; anyone wishing to proceed onto the upper deck must first go through the officer of the watch"

- always gave me a mental image of the OOW standing by one of the bridge doors with a samson bar gladiator stylee. Probably why they changed it to "contact"
I had a slighlty different mental image of everyone going through the OOW.
 

BoxKickerSubs

Lantern Swinger
#56
Warrant Officer Officer, Wardroom!
Gen sit as he was a WO On Invinc and when I first met him he was a CPO!
Never heard him piped as a Chief Officer though, that would have been good. :)
If this guy was a WOSA from Yorkshire or somewhere of that nature i served with him on the Fearless. First name starts with the letter P if i recall.
 

drewfester

Lantern Swinger
#57
If this guy was a WOSA from Yorkshire or somewhere of that nature i served with him on the Fearless. First name starts with the letter P if i recall.
Yep think that's the same guy. He was a WOSA. He once told me he'd been on Fearless as I had between 92 and 96.
Nice chap but if I remember rightly he used to dye his hair a glossy black, or maybe I'm confusing him with another WO.
 

BoxKickerSubs

Lantern Swinger
#58
Thats the fella, cant say he was a nice guy as he hated my guts, never found out why. Yes he did dye his hair jet black. i was also on the Fearless at that time.
 
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