Do you hear there?

Discussion in 'Nautical Jokes' started by mramused, Dec 30, 2014.

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  1. Give me the best pipes you've heard, I bet a few of you have some golden ones to share ;)
  2. PO Laris contact the armoury.

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  3. Does anyone know the story of the phantom giggler on the Scylla...... used to giggle on the broadcast after the Jimmy made a pipe.
  4. "D'you hear there...anyone who wishes to do so and has not done so and still wants to do so before they cannot do so now."

    "That is all"
    • Like Like x 2
  5. RO Tate, Radar Office

    Seaman Staines, Bedding Store
  6. A certain cox'n I served with (no names but he was known as the "alligator" but that's another dit) who made the full main broadcast pipe " the submarine will be visiting the states next trip, all ships company are to ensure they have an in date birth certificate".
    • Funny Funny x 3
    • Like Like x 2
  7. Purple_twiglet

    Purple_twiglet War Hero Moderator

    I've allegedly heard of people who served with people who heard pipes along the lines of 'Do You Hear there, Jack Blair menswear, yesterdays fashion at tomorrows prices is now on the dockside' or some such stuff like that...
    • Like Like x 4
    • Funny Funny x 1
  8. Trainer

    Trainer War Hero Book Reviewer

    'Chief Petty Officer Tain, to the Tank Deck. That's Chief Tain to the Tank Deck'.
  9. Bosun's mate on the bridge tried to pipe," DWEO contact the bridge."
    Just as he spoke, the sound-powered phone activated right next to the microphone so what came out sounded like,
    "Dee-wee-oh-wee-oh-wee-oh-wee-oh-wee-oh-wee-oh, contact the bridge."
  10. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker War Hero Moderator

    "All those returning from the tennis tournament are to return rackets to the PTI. And balls to the Master at Arms"
    • Like Like x 3
  11. Initial issue of tissue with be issued for the tissue issue store in 5 minutes

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  12. MEM Brain contact the sickbay

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  13. Trainer

    Trainer War Hero Book Reviewer

    In another life, I came across: "Dog Section, Corporal Barker speaking"
  14. The station woodwork section at Wyton had a Sgt Sergeant in charge. Dead mans shoes and the branch being binned he was never going to be promoted.

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  15. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker War Hero Moderator

    "D'you hear there. There will be a no moon tonight, but a small moon tomorrow night for Senior Rates & Officers only"
  16. Warrant Officer Officer, Wardroom!
    Gen sit as he was a WO On Invinc and when I first met him he was a CPO!
    Never heard him piped as a Chief Officer though, that would have been good. :)
  17. (When in refit) Babcock painting contractor, Mr bit - contact the chief bosuns mate


    PO Tamar - bridge


    LPT - small arms store
  18. From the Jackspeak book: A pipe for some pongo onboard ship, "Corporal-of-the-horse, gangway at the gallop!"

    Personally: "D'ya hear there, Fred Dibnah has finally passed his RNFT! That is all" the fat knacker had joined before RNFT's were compulsory and the only reason he'd finally passed one was because it was the first time he'd been allowed to do the Rockport Walk instead of the mile and half or bleep test!

    "Anybody wishing to play football for the ship's company, contact Ch Wednesday!"

    "Duty SA, 141"

    "We are now crossing the equator, anybody wishing to see the buoys that mark this line to the upper deck" and then wait to see how many people rock up with cameras!
  19. Lt Chicken Lay Aft
  20. Had several Part III submariners make pipes for "Writer Borshon" to come to the
    casing. Always good for a snigger.

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