The most depressing sight I have ever seen is the Crab police at Leuchars. Due to their not being trained in Scots law they can't do most of the things they can in England and Wales. The cops in St Andrews get called out for pretty much everything, the RAFP don't even get a called in when we lift one of their own outwith the base.
The Dog was taking it handler for a walk when it decided it wanted a leak. Did it's business next to the aircraft pan alarms (as we never put the aircraft away so they were alarmed). They alarm was relayed to the guardroom who called out the duty crew (Sunday afternoon) We were all p*ssing up in the bowling alley. We rushed over expecting to move some jets around but found a young female dog handler very red faced. She had leant on the alarm while her master was having a jimmy.
On arival I showed the dog my ID card, dog took a sniff and woofed "Eh up leader":-D, we reset the alarm and went on way. Bloody good job as none of would have been in any fit state to move an aircraft!!!
On a lighter note, the young RAFP was very generous with her affections and had a soft spot for sailors!!! Much to her fellows coppers distaste!!! Not bad loking either.