I have recently discovered a giant zit on my right arse cheek, we are talking a big red angry fcuker the size of a golf ball. It hurts like fcuk and needs to be sorted pronto. Being exceptionally lazy, I can't be bothered to walk to the end of my road and visit the doc so I thought I would consult the next best thing, a bunch of weird people from the internet. I have attempted to squeeze it in the usual manner, however this appears to have just made it more angry. Thinking it may have been an infected hair follicle, I spent 20 minutes this morning blindly ripping out any hair from around it with some snub nosed pliers (tweezers are for poofs) but again this has just left me with a nasty bald patch and a dirty pair of pliers. I would appreciate any advice from the learned members of this site. Bearing in mind it's sensitive location and the fact that I can only see it in a mirror so I will have to work backwards, I have decided to limit my surgical tools to the following items: 1 x Soldering iron, gas powered 1 x Snub nose pliers, insulated, electrician's 5 x safety pins, size assorted 1 x Mirror, makeup, robbed from the missus 1 x Gillette Mach 3 razor, shaving, for the use of 1 x Leatherman multitool, stolen, pussers Half a bottle of Grants 15 year reserve whiskey Any ideas?