Other than turning to with spunk on the front of your trousers. There is nothing more embarrasing than being in the company of a dit thief. You know the one, during a particularly uncomfortable forced Naval run-ashore he sidles up to you at the table you sat at to avoid such gobblers. Following a 2 minutes silence where you both stare uncomfortably into your pints he will then pipe up and tell you this amazingly snaggy dit that he got up to. All the while you feel a sense of familiarity about said story until you realise he's lying and it wasn't him. I recall one such time when I was regailed with a tale of getting shiters, legging it from a taxi, being mowed down by the driver and having to negotiate 5 miles of fields and rivers. This was in order to avoid the rozzers who had massed at the gate and infiltrate the base caked in mud and piss missing shoes and mobiles which were lost whilst trying to traverse a particularly roughers river Yeo. This probably would have been met with laughter all round had he not been telling the dit to the two people who had actually carried out the above escape and evasion three days previously. You would have thought that upon having his bluff called, the dit thief would have backed down rather than then claiming that we were lying and it was he who did it. He maintained it was him even when other witnesses to the event joined the table, the throbber. Has anybody else encountered a dit thief? How did they respond to being outed? I found the best course of action was to bring up the fact that he was a lying cnut at every available opportunity for the next three years.