Distinguishing features

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by 2_deck_dash, Feb 2, 2010.

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  1. Matelots, squaddies, booties and even crabs are easy to spot, you can see them a mile away, but why?

    I see all these Walters at Remembrance parades with their bling medals and wonder what is the point?

    To be confused for a member of HM Forces all you need are the following convincing items:

    A train platform:

    Gash haircut:

    Sideys (matelots, booties and very ally squaddies only):

    Pussers grip:

    Shirt from Louis Bernard & Jack Blair:

    Some light refreshment for the train journey home:

    Have I missed anything? What other items/characteristics make us stand out?

    Edited to add: I have considered the security issues of this thread but to be honest, any terrorist worth his salt already knows what we all look like anyway, just check Facebook.
  2. Dezzy boots and battered jeans (aka the thousand milers)
  3. Topped off with one of these for that real 'just back from Hereford (or Poole)' look:
  4. suit bag for ya number 1's :D
  5. One of the following timepieces:



    Casio G Shock

  6. that g shock is similar to mine :D
  7. Did you get it from Louis Bernard?

    Extra Jack points if ya did!
  8. An auto-biographical book on some yank's experiences of the war. Ideally well-thumbed and still covered in bits of Afghanistan. To be read whilst muttering 'numpty' and scoffing loudly, until you get to the photos, at which point you need to adopt the thousand yard stare (looking forlornly at the nearest hotty)
  9. Slightly off topic.

    When I was at Collingwood a few years back, it seemed the only cars allowed on base where the following:

    Peugeot 309 - For old school killicks.
    Peugeot 306 D Turbo - For newly promoted killicks and tiffs.
    Subaru Impreza - For newly promoted PO's
    Citroen Saxo VTR - For OMs.
    Ford Focus - For married types.
    Honda Civic Type R - For young PO's and Chief Tiffs.
    BMW 3 Series - For grunters.
    Vauxhall Corsa - For sprog OMs, financed up to their eyeballs.

    I honestly don't think I saw any other types of car there between 2002 and 2004.

    Anyone else notice this?
  10. I bet a survey of your current unit's carpark would yield different results 2DD!
  11. you can tell straight away just by the way matelots etc walk up and down stairs (the wide legged stance with the slight sway)
  12. Hmmm quite.

    Gen dit no shit, one of our Troopers turns up to drill nights in a Ferrari 328 GTS.

    The amount of silver 911s and brand new Land Rover Discos is just sickening.
  13. Back on thread.

    The gash tats are always a give away as well.
  14. So close, but when I was a killick it was a 306 XSi. Spot on with the Type-R though.

    Incidentally, I have met many a Pongo, Bootie and Matelot in my local, but never a member of the RAF. Are they all masters of persec and the covert arts or do they simply prefer bumder bars?
  15. Their mum's don't let them out.
  16. They are all ashamed of their faux-military careers, have no friends and prefer wine-bars to pubs. Chav cunts to a man.
  17. cant believe i have this exact jacket.

    and also had a corsa in the early days but moved up in the world now to my scirocco.
  18. Do you wear one of these underneath it?

    I do. :D
  19. I own numerous lifa tops, especially the short-sleeved green ones 3 sizes too small. It ensures civvies know to fear and respect me when I am running or leaning against the water machine doing nothing but scan the room with my rape glare in the gym.

    Buffalo shirts are sooo 2002, it's Haglofs for 2010 dahling. That said, I have seen A LOT of lads milling around shopping centres and boozers this winter in the issue softies.
  20. off course i do its part the the jack look ;)

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