dirtiest evil depraved tw*t you went to sea with

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by stan_the_man, Dec 13, 2009.

Welcome to the Navy Net aka Rum Ration

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial RN website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. :D Fcuking George T*ner BRISTOL stank like the inside of a lepers bandage smoked like a trooper and was a mean fcuker when pissed. He used to gargle his tobacco ridden phlem into his can of beer while he went for a piss to stop guys seeing it off there used to be a little yellow oyster round the rim of his tinny when he got back he'd just see the rest of his tinny off. He used to wank in the gulch and flick the jizz at you when you were doing shakes. Always had his finger up his arse and would shove it up yer nose just when you least expected it. Evil evil little geordie cnut but he was a funny fecker all the same.
  2. A bloke from 40 know as ''Phil the bat'' and he is still serving
  3. :lol: elaborate or will he bang you out if he sees the post - whimp
  4. As mentioned Phil the bat was given the name cause of his special driving abilities hence the saying blind as a bat. He joined up in the late 70s cant remember exact year and to this very day he is still a marine as im aware but cause of his service he now has the rank of acting cpl. Anyway if you ever saw Phil in his civies you would never guess he is a marine, he looks like a frail old man about to roll over and die but the man continues to drink for Queen and country.
    When it comes to ships no one likes to share bunks with Phil as he has the reputation of pissing the bed so the poor sod below him takes the wrath.
    Phil is a typical 12 cans of strongbow, which dont exactly finish him off for the night but makes him more in a higher state of alert. So after his cans he goes outside for a fag, now when i got told this i had to see it for my self, so following Phil me and a couple others we watch what he did next, he was debreifing the moon for a good 20 minutes, realising he cant win he goes back to the mess deck strips off reveling his frail body waking the new guy up who just came of duty then once in bed he starts talking to him self about the ''glory days'' in Thailand then finish off with a nice long swamp which finds its way on the guy below.

    It may not be as bad as some of the others thats gonna posted but it always made me and a few others laugh
  5. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    I can't really contribute to this thread, but i will.

    I went on pedalo once with my elder brother. He made me peddle like a mad thing around the boating lake until i was sweating like a redneck on a pig fucking charge, while he chucked things at the ducks and swans. If i didn't peddle fast enough, he would happy slap me until i did. He would fart in his hand and put it over my face, flick bogies at me and he gobbed in my hair. I felt like a slave on a Roman tireme. When we went to get out, he pushed me over and i fell in the drink and stank, as there was stinky mud on the bottom. Wanker.
  6. Bl00dy hell - I misread that - I thought you wrote paedo.
  7. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Now that's another story.
  8. I served with blokes who have discharged a multitude of bodily fluids in a score of places. I have know Jack shag anything with a pulse in anyplace that presented itself in any location.
    I have seen p*ss drunk, Sh*te eaten as well as talked. I have witnessed blokes giving intrusive probes of the venereal region to thing with 2,and 4 legs, even 1 leg on one occasion.
    But I must confess I have never ever in my time in the mob met one of these depraved people you are talking about.........I will keep looking. :twisted: 8O :D :wink:
  9. Met all the usual 'skiffers' shoving their turd infested finger under your nose, in yer ear, mouth etc
    the 2 brummies on HTS simultaniously wanking in their gulch and rubbing it into the mess throbber's face,
    the PO reduced to AB and subsequently billited in our JR mess, who after a bender in Fort Lauders, we sail into a swell, for him to shit himself during the middle watch and, enroute to the heads, covers every feckers towel, bunk mess sq. and F&F in shite. Mess stunk of.....shite!
    Done the piss drinking for a bet....didn't harm me!

    But... as RR highlighted, I did end up part of ship with a paedo.
    '79 on the Zulu and I was working with a dabber in the scullery as communal party. (no names)
    This guy was very touchy-feely and irritated the feck out of me. I once asked him up front if he was gay and boy did he blow a fuse..!!!
    Then one day he 'dissapppeared'
    Turned out he was baby sitting for a chief onboard and decided to the worst thing imagined.
    Ships co was out for the kill, crushers got to him first by all account, but he was never seen again.

    Funny thing is, the dabber that replaced him also went to DQ's for going awol...!

    *starting to get a complex*
  10. Jack would do almost anything for a tot bet, as Juniors on my first ship we would watch the 3 badge fcukall's in the Armada Club eating chit-chats, bombay runners, bootlace snakes, drink their own piss, fingers down throat so they could honk up in pint glass and neck it........

    The winner smashed his Tiger glass and slit a vein in his wrist, pumping blood into glass and necked it, his mate owed him sandy bottoms.
  11. Bloody glad I didn't serve with some of the oppos of you lads, jesus....lol
  12. Met George on my 1st day on Bristol when I joined as a JOEM and he was the LHOM, scared the shit out of me, tryed selling me to the dhobey wallah on my second day onboard before taking me to the MF.
    You forgot the way used to poke his head through the buggery board and blow snot on peoples heads and just blow snotters at people in genral
  13. :D Families day was a riot we tied him up in the mess square cos he was behaving like a tw*t then the subject of LOA came up and father Ryan quick as a flash said to his missus don't worry pet I paid that (silver tongued devil) When him and his missus split up he sold all the furniture in his married quarter then when he got back with her they had to sit on orange crates for six months til they'd saved enough money for a couple of chairs
  14. HaHa 2 names from the past, George Toner definately worst animal, close second was H remember waking up one night with them both pissing in the bucket with the T boat mugs in it
  15. H fcuking legend Yorkie fcuker was always on the pop in the gulch every afternoon. What a mess 80 bunks in 4J Port and Stbd. Only the strongest survived
  16. Ahhh yes 'Frank' Grimson. he was on the 'Happy H' the same time as me.
    A stoker, I remember him one morning after coming back onboard in Pompy. Stood in front of the mirror in the gulch, picking & flicking dried blood clots out of his beard he said,
    'That'll teach me to lap the missus out when she's on the rag...'

  17. FFS I haven't killed another thread have I?

    There must be more 'dirtiest evil depraved tw*t you went to sea with' out there...?
  18. Hmmm, how about a couple of ROs (CIS now??) seeing a used Tampax decided to chuck it at each other thinking that they were messing about. "Messing about" is a certain WEM(O) turning up, picking it up and sucking it.

    No names as it wasn't my dit, but F88 back in 87 :)
  19. I remember Grimson off the H, but I think first prize must go to Brum Heard a PO Stoker who later got his Chiefs which amazed us,
    He had no standards at all.

    The most fun animal has to be Squint Westwood who I met on the Invincible, he arrived down the mess square one morning totally phased out as he had given his missus a portion whilst sober for the first time.

    I saw a phot of him sucking a Kaiti's nuts in Bugis St, a fun chap but no scruples or standards.

Share This Page