Did You Know?

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Blackrat, May 8, 2010.

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  1. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Some interesting facts that you might not know:

    Tonbridge Wells is latin for 'Saddam Hussein'. It was also annexed by the Third Reich in 1937 after a by-election in which Hitler won.

    The British Postal system was ranked as the 5th most reliable service in the world last year, after Iraq, Afghanistan, Georgia and Mongolia...

    Bungee cord is not made from rubber but from glued together chicken leg tendons that are a left over by-product from a Latvian chicken pie factory

    If you put a slice of ham in a dvd player it will play a short film about pigs.

    Red Leicester cheese is so called because it was originally made by the East Midlands Communist Dairy Product Collective.

    In Russia, it is a crime to put a spoon in with the forks.

    In Paraguay, if you are offered a fish fresh from the river, it is considered the height of good manners to beat the person who offered you it around the head until they collapse.

    There is no Eskimo word for Eastbourne.

    Amongst the stuff left on the moon by NASA, inexplicably, there is a mattress, a bike with no front wheel and a broken down Nissan Micra.

    Crazy eh? Anyone else got any interesting facts?
  2. Blackrat what of ham should I use as the markies stuff has just completely fcuked up the dvd player. :wink: :D
  3. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Tesco's finest dear boy. Every little helps.
  4. When it comes to scrapping at kicking out time in countries with proportional representation everybody wins...
  5. Thanks Blackrat I am off to Tesco's as we speak. :D
  6. You bastrd Blackrat, the man in Tesco's has just told me that it only works on Blueray capable DVD players :(
  7. Jesus I have got back for a blueray DVD for fecks sake. I only wanted watch the program about fat birds on the ham slice. :wink: :D
  8. Just returned my new blueray DVD player to Tescos, told the returns girl that as it didn't play their ham I didn't want, also asked for a refund on the 100grams of ham inside it.
  9. If Network Rail laid all its track end to end it would each all over Britain.
  10. Professor Stephen Hawking is to star in the next *Die Hard* movie in the role of hard-bitten New York cop
    John Maclaine, as Bruce Willis was unavailable.

    There has never, never, never, ever, ever, ever been a Readers Digest Prize Draw Winner.

    The 2010 Turner Prize for the Arts has been won by performing artist, Alfonso Giabatti with his
    "action work" entitled *Leap of Faith*. Mr Giabatti built a 100 metre diving platform on the banks
    of the River Thames, dressed up as a Telly-Tubby, climbed to the top of the platform, and plunged
    headfirst into a skip filled with recycled cholostomy bags.

    Canada is trying to persuade the Olympic Committee to recognise Seal Clubbing as an official
    sport. The Canadians are hoping to form a world beating team in time for the next Olympic Games.

    It is impossible to shout the word "crisps"

    President Obama is the chairman of the American chapter of the George Formby Appreciation Society.

    * * * * * *
  11. Guns

    Guns War Hero Moderator

    There are no honest people in Liverpool.

    If you are 13 or older in Liverpool and still a virgin you will be executed.

    Liverpool Football Club is latine for "bag of shite".

    98.% of scousers are on the dole, the remaining 2% in public services.

    If a terrorists bombed Liverpool no one would mind.
  12. Guns

    Guns War Hero Moderator

    The RAF was formed by the Navy getting rid of all its bad pilots and the Army getting rid of all the ones not able to use a knife and fork

    The RAF is latin for "idle fookers who let you down at 1800 in a cold wet field outside Newry when they swore blind they would pick you up at the given gird reference and you are cold and wet, not eaten in a day, smell of like a cow shed and need sleep - all because they ran out of crew hours cos they can't f'in count and you have to keep moving around Bandit Country until the RN come on task and pick you up on route to BBK for the over night slot cos the RAF don't fly at night"
  13. Guns

    Guns War Hero Moderator

    This is very therapeutic. Now where is that third glass of wine......

  14. Class :D
  15. Sharks will only attack you if you are wet
  16. Cleethorpes Police have a special "Task Force" that deal
    specifically with a horrendous type of anti-social behaviour.
    The Cleethorpes Police James Last LP Special Weapons
    and Tactics Division will organise dawn raids on any
    household that is reported on their anonymous hotline
    as being in posession of f***ing James Last LP's. They
    will happily smash up any stereo-radiogram of offending
    pensioners who play these tunes, and then ensure they
    serve a minimum of five years behind bars.
    DCI Rocky Malone o/c J.L.S. (James Last Squad) said,
    "These b**tards deserve to have their front doors kicked in..."
    "They do more damage to residential areas than crack houses,
    and it is our job to erradicate them with extreme predjudice".
    "We hope to roll out this extermination programme in other
    police forces over the next few months."

    You've been warned.
  17. A video of Bruce Forsyth grinning and dancing to a Max Bygraves song about pink toothbrushes will disperse any known band of trouble makers and yobs.
    Police should carry DVD players on the beat for this purpose and switch this clip on at closing time.
  18. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    If you sing the British National Anthem backwards you will actually find it is a great recipe for Yorkshire pudding.

    In their spare time, Pigeons prefer to wear wooden clogs instead of slippers as previously thought.

    Kwik Fit economy tyres are made from remoulds of Latvian peasants shoes.

    In remote parts of Bulgaria, it is customary on the night before the wedding to torch the father of the brides house as this is supposed to denote independance.

    Inserting chillis into your ears enables you to understand Spanish, lychees on the other hand Mandarin Chinese.
  19. The Australian wine, Chateau Wagga Wagga, is made from the fermented juice of the
    crushed Witchety Grub just after it has mated, and has a bouquet similar to that of
    an Aborigine’s armpit.

  20. Real men don't eat quiche

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