Deutschland Uber Alles


War Hero
Book Reviewer
'Goodwill' visit by HMS Bulwark to Hamburg ca. 1967. Scene, a bar with a small dance floor under a spotlight, tables ranged around.

Enter Jack. Throws his hat into the spot and asks 'Right, which of you Jew-burning bastards is going to buy me a beer?'

Source - the Officer of the Patrol from Bulwark who had to stage the subsequent rescue. Seems (surprise!) the locals did not have well-developed sense of humour.
Was told one about a lad, name of Taff Jones, who was a social hand grenade. He asked a visiting German crew (who spoke very good English) how easily they understood English proverbs or turns of phrase. For example, "Birds of feather flock together." and "Red sky at night - Dresden's alight."

The place erupted apparently.
We had it in mind long time ago to go seek the panzers in Wales and having trained to drive these things we would borrow one for a short while.

The panzers they where gone back to the fatherland when we arrived. Tawts!!
Imagine it - bar in Germany, full of grumpy matelots suddenly invaded by celebrating Helmuts. "Ach so, Tommy, we are celebrating - England 2 Der Fartherland 3 in der World Cup. We have beaten you at your national game !"
"WE'VE beaten YOU at your national game twice, mate."
"When was this ?"
"1918 and 1945".
That's when the bar suddenly became an action replay of a John Wayne movie saloon fight.....tables, chairs, bodies and bottles flying everywhere....
Alas, no sheriff firing his gun in the air to stop it - about half a dozen large POLIZEI with night sticks, And they had no sense of humour either !


Lantern Swinger
Heard a classic whilst on port visit in Poland this year.
Lads visiting the concentration camp in Poland (cant remember which one), getting a little board one turns to his oppos and says "my grandad died here" he recieved mass sympathy until he followed up with " yeah he fell out of a gaurd tower and broke his neck" The rest of the visit was cancelled in short order!
Yanks in EMs bar San Juan going on about having the biggest bestest fleet in the world at Pearl Harbour.

Asked them if they reviewed it in glass bottomed boats.

Swift exit followed by chairs,tables and glasses etc.

No sense of humour.
There was a Local Footie team down here in Sussex years ago called Aldwick Bay Rowdies,and they had a few old pro's playing for them and they used to produce there own programme on a Sunday morning before the games. And it had spoof adverts in them,the best one ever which was;

Choose Southern Gas- 3 Million Jews cant be wrong .

End of programmes and footie team !!
Early 80s and the Japanese attended the RIMPAC exercises in Pearl Harbour for the first time. They also did some sort of ceremony at the Arizona Memorial. A group of Japanese mateloes were looking for the ferry to take them over to the memorial and asked a passing Australian submariner for directions. " No worries mate, its right over there where you left it"

Some people have no sense of humour!
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