Dear Deirdre - "Not sure if I'm being played"

#1
Reposting this here as it seems a better place
I'm sort of seeing a royal marine commando, have been seeing him every so often, probably about 7/8 times since last new year. He's based in dorset and I'm in cornwall, we met online. When he has leave he drives 6 hours to come and see me, says that he hasn't slept with anyone even when he had a week in vegas, that he really likes me but that he's so busy it's difficult to keep a relationship. I've made it clear that if he didn't want me to sleep with anyone else then I wouldn't, but I would need a relationship.
He's so honest and nice but after carpooling with a navy officer working in culdrose, who was driving to see his girlfriend in london, I'm not sure. This guy said that they usually have most weekends off, wednesday afternoons and if you're working after 12 on a friday that you've been stitched up. This has made me really doubt my marine when he says he's workimg and I don't want to because he seems nice but scared I'm being played big time. I'm really into him.

Can anyone offer an opinion on how much leave/time off commandos get and whether he's being honest?
 

Ninja_Stoker

War Hero
Moderator
#3
Wonder why someone would say such a thing to cast doubts and what could possibly be their motive? :)

Working patterns vary depending on role and also where in Dorset the individual is based.

The only other thing is that "sort of seeing" once every four to six weeks doesn't really sound too serious. It may well be that he travels to see his family or goes out with his mates, when time off and finances permit. Offering to meet half way certainly makes things easier for both parties, if that is what they both want.
 

Purple_twiglet

War Hero
Moderator
#4
Depending on where he is in Dorset, he could well be extremely busy - never forget that the RN is a very large organisation and working patterns vary considerably. I wouldnt get worried from this alone.
 
G

guestm

Guest
#5
He drives six hours to see you. I wouldn't voluntarily drive six hours to see anyone.

Six hours, Jesus. You must look like Gemma Arterton.
 
#6
Driving six hours is fine, although if he's based in Poole, (most easterly base in Dorset) and even if you live in the very far west of Cornwall, taking 6 hours to drive that distance, he must have a crap car..Bin him !!
 
#9
I know it sounds ridiculous. But he's said that he always comes to see me whenever he has leave, and we chat and message quite a lot, so he tells me what he's up to etc. He's also said that he has feelings for me but that it's hard. I would absolutely meet him halfway, would be happy to go and see him at base even.
 
G

guestm

Guest
#13
It's at least three hours there and three hours back. = six hours.

Additionally, the RN officer is using classic tactics in the quest to load / unload.

He sounds a total ****.
 
#14
What do you mean load/unload?

If you mean he had ulterior motives then I highly doubt it, I had conjunctivitis last week and looked like ET when I got that lift
 

Ninja_Stoker

War Hero
Moderator
#16
He could be married and you are his 'bit on the side' hence why he travels so far away from prying eyes , shit happens.
Always good to have a voice of reason ;)

Equally the fact that a person based in Culdrose goes on extended weekend leave every friday lunchtime and only works three full days a week isn't always a good yardstick on which to judge other peoples integrity.
 
#17
Always good to have a voice of reason ;)

Equally the fact that a person based in Culdrose goes on extended weekend leave every friday lunchtime and only works three full days a week isn't always a good yardstick on which to judge other peoples integrity.
Ninja the gentleman in question is a Royal Naval Officer, I am delighted that he manages to work three full days a week
 
#19
well I'll leave you to your fun. I'm breaking whatever 'it' was off, not because I don't trust him but because we're heading in different directions, he wants to go into special forces and I'll only see him less than I do now. Sad because I really liked him, but as you said, shit happens. Thanks for the perspective.
 
#20
Well, that was touching wasn't it?
Could the Mods rename this thread 'Dear Deirdre', then anyone who's ever been shagged by a matlot, could pour their heart out and we could all have a great laugh whilst giving 'genuine, heartfelt and useful advice'
 

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