I recall when in the States we had a Mess do. One of the lads brought his new 'lady friend' down. Half way through the evening he had a rush of poo to the brain and asked her if she was armed. Turned out she had FIVE handguns and a rifle or shotgun in the car!
I may have told before of a Bootneck who had 2 NDs within weeks of each other. After the first, sympathy and a smacked wrist from the CO and DSM. Second one, endless slagging, mega fine at table, stoppage (not the malfunctioning weapon type) of all good things and a new nick surname: Billy Bang.