Daily Mail Wail Fail

sgtpepperband

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#1
[I've put this in CA rather than DL because, while humorous in tone, the published articles are genuine, worryingly]



Sadly this is not satire; this excuse of a "newspaper" [sic] has a history of shame:



(NB: the author of the image admits a typo; the "Facebook causes cancer" article is from 2009: How using Facebook could raise your risk of cancer | Mail Online)

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An old favourite; wanna see how the DM creates its random headlines? Daily Mail-o-matic | qwghlm.co.uk

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Not quite as funny are the genuine scaremongering headlines they do publish. Here are all the things that cause you cancer, according to the DM:

AFTERNOONS – here
AGE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-449783/Women-birth-age-30-double-risk…
AIR POLLUTION http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-358875/Pollution-cars-linked-child-…
AIR TRAVEL (I) - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-200443/Frequent-fliers-raise-cancer…
AIR TRAVEL (II) - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/travel/article-591109/Cancer-risk-frequent-fliers….
ALCOHOL (I) - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-147083/Drink-day-increases-breast-can…
ALCOHOL (II) - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-471910/Bowel-cancer-danger-just-gla…
ALLERGIES http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-324732/Child-allergies-raise-cancer…
ARTIFICIAL FLAVOURS Cancer-causing chemicals found in soy sauce | Mail Online
ARTIFICIAL LIGHT http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-391267/Artificial-light-increases-b…
ASBESTOS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1170584/Asbestos-schools-kill-pupils-…
ASPIRIN (I) - Asprin link to cancer risk | Mail Online
ASPIRIN (II) (a cure too, apparently!) - Aspirin really can beat cancer | Mail Online
BABIES http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-157683/Birth-size-link-breast-cancer….
BABY BOTTLES http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1038697/EU-rejects-ban-baby-bottles…
BABY FOOD Baby food in cancer alert | Mail Online
BACON http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1102368/Additives-used-bacon-ham-ch…
BARBEQUES http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-326153/Australians-warned-backyard-ca…
BEEF http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-393666/Alarm-beef-link-breast-cancer….
BEER http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1161843/Just-pint-beer-day-raise-ri…
BEING A BLACK PERSON http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1064547/Black-men-times-likely-pros… and http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-508753/Black-women-develop-breast-c…
BEING A WOMAN http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-63976/Cancer-risk-higher-women-smok…
BEING A MAN http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-306543/Men-twice-likely-die-cancer-…
BEING SOUTHERN http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1027331/Why-affluent-women-South-li…
BELTS - Wearing a tight belt could give you throat cancer: Constricting waistbands cause acid reflux - increasing risk of the disease | Mail Online
BISCUITS Cancer: foods to avoid? | Mail Online
BLOWJOBS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-453843/Oral-sex-cause-throat-cancer…
BRAS Is your bra bad for you? | Mail Online
BREAD http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-411506/White-bread-increases-cancer…
BREAST FEEDING Who's at risk of breast cancer? | Mail Online
BREAST IMPLANTS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-41443/Breast-implants-cancer-scare….
BROCCOLI - Superfoods can make cancer MORE likely, says pioneer of DNA study | Mail Online
BROKEN HEARTS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-450049/How-heart-broken-grief-send-ea…
BUBBLE BATH Is your bubble bath safe? | Mail Online
BURGERS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-467360/Cancer-scare-food-colour-add…
CAFFINE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1127473/Coffee-raise-child-cancer-r…
CALCUIM http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1052127/Fatal-cancer-risk-men-high-bl…
CANDLE-LIT DINNERS Candles release scents laced with cancer chemicals, warn scientists | Mail Online
CANNED FOOD http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-44676/Gender-bending-chemicals-tin-…
CARBOHYDRATES http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-313227/Low-carb-diets-beat-breast-c…
CARS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-358875/Pollution-cars-linked-child-…
CATS - Can the cat give you cancer? Parasite in their bellies linked with brain tumours | Mail Online
CEREAL How safe are your favourite foods? | Mail Online
CHEESE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1002424/Italy-shuts-mozzarella-produc…
CHICKEN http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-429303/Families-risk-toxic-imported-f…
CHILDLESSNESS SUZANNE MOORE: I'm sick of being told it's all our fault | Mail Online
CHILDREN http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-506501/Prostate-risk-having-family-…
CHILDREN’S FOOD Health warning on children's food | Mail Online
CHILLIS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-347287/Cancer-checks-spices-new-foo…
CHINESE MEDICINE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-75547/Warming-cancer-risk-Chinese-m…
CHIPS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-487571/Parents-told-chips-cause-can…
CHLORINE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-431777/Chlorine-bathwater-linked-canc…
CHOCLATE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-386625/Cancer-fears-chocolate-snack…
CITY LIVING http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-496495/City-life-blamed-higher-risk…
CLIMATE CHANGE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-452789/Warmer-climate-mean-thousand…
COCA COLA http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-337178/Carrot-day-reduces-cancer-ri…
COD LIVER OIL http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-379918/Cancer-fears-cod-liver-oil-c…
COFFEE How healthy is your cup of coffee? | Mail Online
CONSTAPATION Atkins diet cancer risk | Mail Online
CONTRACEPTIVE PILLS Cancer risk '45% higher' on Pill | Mail OnlineCOOKING http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-382571/Frying-increase-cancer-risk….
CORDLESS PHONES http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-515970/After-cancer-warnings-mobile…
CRAYONS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-6706/Safety-alert-best-selling-crayon…
CURRY http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-342632/Cancer-dye-Grossman-curry-sa…
DEODORANT Deodorants linked to cancer | Mail Online
DEPRESSION Depression can triple risk of developing Parkinson's disease, scientists say | Mail Online
DIETING http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-73056/Is-diet-lifestyle-putting-ris…
DOGS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-490581/Can-dogs-breast-cancer-Bizar…
EGGS Cancer chemicals are found in eggs | Mail Online
EGYPTIAN MOOBS – here
ELECTRICITY http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-449679/Power-lines-link-cancer-new-al…
ENGLISH BREAKFAST Traditional full English fry-up 'may raise risk of bowel cancer by 63 per cent', say scientists | Mail Online
FACEBOOK http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1149207/How-using-Facebook-raise-ri…
FALSE NAILS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1174768/Having-nails-skin-cancer-do…
FATHERHOOD http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-506501/Prostate-risk-having-family-…
FIBRE Fibre 'cancer risk' warning | Mail Online
FISH Fish cancer scare | Mail Online
FIZZY DRINKS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1249305/Two-fizzy-drinks-week-raise…
FLIP FLOPS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1025915/Wearing-FLIP-FLOPS-skin-can…
FLY SPRAY http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-459938/Using-pesticide-sprays-…
FREQUENT FLYING – here
FRUIT http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-371260/Breast-cancer-drug-cuts-deat…
FRUIT JUICE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1254534/Fruit-juice-cancer-warning-sc…
GARDENS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-326153/Australians-warned-backyard-ca…
GRAPEFRUIT http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-468559/Eating-grapefruit-increase-b…
HAIR DYE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1017259/How-using-hair-dye-increase…
HAM http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-490845/Is-safe-eat-Cancer-report-ad…
HEIGHT http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1064454/Bigger-taller-baby-girls-hi…
HONEY http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-429303/Families-risk-toxic-imported-f…
HOT DRINKS How safe are your favourite foods? | Mail Online
HRT http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1214782/HRT-increases-risk-dying-lu…
INTERNET http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-312505/Cancer-patients-risk-website…
IVF http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-148228/How-IVF-raises-cancer-risks….
KIDNEY TRANSPLANTS TV prize kidney 'carries a risk of cancer' | Mail Online
LAMB http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-446559/Red-meat-link-higher-risk-br…
LARGE HEADS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-370870/Big-headed-babies-prone-canc…
LEFT-HANDEDNESS http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-363477/Left-handers-likely-breast-c…
LIPSTICK Is your lipstick giving you cancer? | Mail Online
LIVER TRANSPLANTS 'Cancer' liver transplant killed husband | Mail Online
LONG FINGERS Why long fingers mean you're more likely to be depressed and why small ears may make you more prone to kidney disease | Mail Online
MENOPAUSE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-395201/Weight-gain-menopause-increase…
MENSTRUATION Do women need periods? | Mail Online
METAL http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1081692/The-metals-daily-glass-wine…
MIDDLE CLASS – here
MILK Milk linked to ovarian cancer | Mail Online
MOBILE PHONES http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-473553/Orange-remove-mobile-mast-to…
MODERN LIVING http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-474157/Modern-living-blame-cancer-e…
MONEY http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1025375/Wealthy-background-raise-ri…
MORPHINE http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1230208/Pain-drug-morphine-cause-ca…
MOUTHWASH http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1113422/Mouthwash-causes-oral-cance…
NUCLEAR POWER (there is no hint of irony in this article) - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-42066/New-study-links-nuclear-sites-c…
OBESITY – Obesity raises risk of cancer | Mail Online
OESTROGEN – Oestrogen link to breast cancer | Mail Online
OLDER FATHERS – http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1223025/Why-older-fathers-likely-ch…
PASTRY – How safe are your favourite foods? | Mail Online
PEANUT BUTTER – http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1164417/Food-watchdog-warning-peanut-…
PERFUME – http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1051130/How-perfumes-scented-creams…
PICKLES - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-115696/How-safe-favourite-foods.html
PIZZA – New food dye warning | Mail Online
PLASTIC BAGS - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1207840/Plastic-decomposes-sea…
PORK – http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1093039/After-alert-Irish-pork-safe-b…
POTATOES – http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-115037/Cancer-chemical-link-cooked-fo…
POVERTY – SUZANNE MOORE: I'm sick of being told it's all our fault | Mail Online
PREGNANCY http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-82458/Breast-cancer-risk-career-wom…
RADIOACTIVITY – http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-421140/As-radioactive-spy-buried-bar-…
RICE - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-444222/Rice-tainted-arsenic-raises-…
SAUSAGES - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-550729/Why-eating-just-sausage-day-…
RETIREMENT - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1220446/Oh-Work-good-especially-you…
SEX – Did sex give me cancer? | Mail Online
SEX WITH SPARROWS – here
SHAVING - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-206459/Shaving-raise-cancer-risk.html
SKIING – Skiers warned of cancer risk | Mail Online
SLEEP APNEA – here
SOUP – http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1132814/Salty-soups-increase-cancer…
SPACE TRAVEL – http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1015482/How-astronauts-risk-cancer–p…
SUN CREAM - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/travel/article-592076/Cancer-fear-childrens-sun-cr…
SWEETS – here
TALCUM POWDER - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1063040/Cancer-alert-talc-Women-usi…
TABLET COMPUTERS - Using mobile phones and tablets before bed could be affecting your sleep, warn scientists | Mail Online
TATTOOS – here
TEA – http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-87131/Too-tea-treble-cancer-risk-wo…
TEEN SEX - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1237530/Girls-sex-teens-greater-ris…
THIRD HAND SMOKE - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1249591/Even-hand-smoke-dangerous–…
TV – here
VITAMINS - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-320006/Vitamin-pills-cause-early-de…
WATER – http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-13620/Cancer-link-tap-water-radon-h…
WI-FI - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-456534/The-classroom-cancer-risk-wi-f…
WINE - Oral cancer risk trebles after just two glasses of wine a day | Mail Online
WORCESTER SAUCE – Dye alert spreads to school meals | Mail Online
WORKING Why men with desk jobs have higher risk of prostate cancer | Mail Online
X-RAYS X-rays 'bring risk of cancer' | Mail Online
ZEBRA TOYS - Start Your Senses Zebra toy recalled for cancer risk | Mail Online
 

Blackrat

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#3
It is, bar none, the most ill informed, hate filled rag there is.

Oddly enough, they're right about the 2011 Eastenders findings.
 
#5
The Daily Heil's obsession with cancer has always asmused me. Here are some more things they claim cause and/or cure cancer.

Are you hated by the Daily Mail? I certainly am!

I'd like to think the Daily Mail's time is running out, but they seem to be doing perfectly fine, especially with the current celebrity obsessed culture that the Mail Online exploits and encourages.
 

Subsunk

Lantern Swinger
Book Reviewer
#7
Sniffing glue = unacceptable, 3D loser, etc.

Reading DM = DM reader.

How did a situation like this ever come about? By the way, I don't recall the DM ever blaring about the link between lying and cancer. As Bill Hicks said, it's the lies that cause the tumours.

I don't get a human being who would want to live their life in that state of mind, either as dispenser of vicious bulls### or as vicious bulls### receptacle.
 
#8
Each copy should come with a mental health warning.
Mine did! When I was a nutter in the Psycho ward I said that I could not read the Mail without raging;- the shrink said therefore I should take it as my daily rag. I have :- I find it a guide as to what the enemy is thinking. Why was I in the Psycho ward? The first Mrs. Jesse!!!!!!
 
#9
Aye you can keep the Mail really close, when you cut it into small squares to wipe your arse on.


Posted from the Navy Net mobile app (Android / iOS)
 
#10
The Daily Heil's obsession with cancer has always asmused me. Here are some more things they claim cause and/or cure cancer.

Are you hated by the Daily Mail? I certainly am!

I'd like to think the Daily Mail's time is running out, but they seem to be doing perfectly fine, especially with the current celebrity obsessed culture that the Mail Online exploits and encourages.
After doing all the questions it would appear I'm "loathed" by the Daily Mail...result :)
 
A

Art the Fart

Guest
#15
And still people read it and base their opinions on its content.

Poison.
Thought I'd check who reads what.

My wife and I are long term Daily Telegraph readers. Not knowingly read the Daily Mail.

This MN RN Retirement Village's newspaper delivery a.m today read:- comprising MN Captains and their stewards, one RN Submarner skipper, RN dentistand pilot , doctors and their widows, numerous WRNS together with WW2 A.B.'s et al.----

43 newspapers were delivered thus:-

1Sun
2 Independent
13 Telegraphs
1 Mirror
26 Mail

Sad, perhaps, but true.
 

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