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Cyber Bullying

fishhead

War Hero
BBC News - Hannah Smith death: Ask.fm 'to help police inquiry'#

The above link is just the latest case to make the headlines but there have been plenty more like people moaning they've been targeted on twitter and other social media.
While I have no time at all for so-called Trolls and sympathy for their targets I am baffled as to why the situation gets to the point such as the death of the girl in the link. We frequently hear a statement such as "they'd been the subject of on-line bullying for months".
So here are my questions, why if you are getting bad tweets from sad trolls why do you keep your account open. Why not shut it down and get and with your life "twitterless". You survived before twitter was invented you'll survive without it. Secondly if you are using a website which you end up being on the wrong end of abuse why keep returning week after week until you reach the point of depression as surely the obvious course of action is to take your business elsewhere before it reaches that stage.
I am clueless as to why people persist doing things that are making them unhappy sometimes to the point of tragedy. Anyone out there think they can explain it?
 

slim

War Hero
I detest the modern definition of bullying. If you are a fat bastard (like me) then nobody is allowed to call you names, my Ginger oppo can no longer be referred to as Ginge, our stumpy mate is no longer referred to as Lofty. The kid who doesn't shower is not stinky and the girl attending elocution lessons is not to be referred to as Posh.
Going back to the 50s and even just the 80s we must have had anhell of a life. Most of us must have really suffered from this bullying.
FFS grow up, as a kid we were all taught a little rhyme "Sticks & Stones may break my bones but names can never hurt me"
Time for the cotton wool to be removed from the kids and start toughening them up
Yours the Fat bastard name of Slim
 

(granny)

RIP
Book Reviewer
I can only judge on what I see the younger generation doing. My grandaughters life is ruled by her having the damned phone stuck in her hand 24/7. It's as though their lives are dependant upon immediate response from her circle of friends. Without a doubt it has become a compulsion for her. The way she reacts if she ever can't put her hand on the damned phone is simply amazing....a look of fear and dread comes over her, panic sets in until, like a drug, she gets her fix by holding it again. I totally abhor the way in which her generation have been 'groomed' to think that the world can only be lived on the end of Twitter, Facebook, Kik and all the other sites. I therefore can understand why the dear girl didn't just leave that site, it became her reason for living. I send my condolences to her family for their tragic loss. PARENTS...BE AWARE OF WHAT YOUR CHILDREN ARE DOING.
 
There was always bullying among children,the whole social media thing just makes it easier,and brings it to a new level.I don't know how you would control it.Block it on kids under a certain age? Very hard to control.[video=youtube_share;XVJ9Z3Js7Ww]http://youtu.be/XVJ9Z3Js7Ww[/video]
 

WreckerL

War Hero
Super Moderator
I have to say I'm with Fishehead and Jimbo on this one. Young girl at work and my niece both post every little detail of what they've done or where their going on Faceache, I sometimes wish I was a tea leaf as I always know when their houses are unattended.

I just can't get my head round why they just don't log on if they're getting abuse.
 

Guzzler

War Hero
Not exactly being devil's advocat here as I do agree with what has been said so far, but...

Culture (for want of a better word) changes. The parents of the Rock 'n' Roll generation will have been horrified at the very idea of their offspring dancing to the 'devils music' (or was that jazz?), and a decade on they will have been aghast at little Mick the Mod taking pills and kicking off down Margate. Kids with tellys in their rooms would have been frowned upon as highly decadent in my teenage years. Imagine how the parents of the 'Dandies' in the 18th century felt!

I too have trouble fathoming the obsession with much of the technology (I have to say that as I'm not sure what most of it is), but it is purely a development (whether or not in the right direction is clearly debatable) which is part of human behaviour.

I understand all the comments, and we all think this is one step too far, but so does every generation.

Now cover up those piano legs!

Edit to add: I didn't really address the original point. Unhealthy as it seems, this obsession with constant communication by whatever particular fashionable means - mobile phone, facething, tweet etc. however damaging, has clearly become much of the psyche of young people today. I find it sad, but do sort of understand.

The other day whilst waiting for a bus I saw three or four kids climbing and playing around in a tree and I have to admit i felt quite pleased to see that. Nowt odd I hasten to add.
 
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Rachelthree

War Hero
I detest the modern definition of bullying. If you are a fat bastard (like me) then nobody is allowed to call you names, my Ginger oppo can no longer be referred to as Ginge, our stumpy mate is no longer referred to as Lofty. The kid who doesn't shower is not stinky and the girl attending elocution lessons is not to be referred to as Posh.
Going back to the 50s and even just the 80s we must have had anhell of a life. Most of us must have really suffered from this bullying.
FFS grow up, as a kid we were all taught a little rhyme "Sticks & Stones may break my bones but names can never hurt me"
Time for the cotton wool to be removed from the kids and start toughening them up
Yours the Fat bastard name of Slim

Fear not, these kinda nicknames are still used in certain circles- your sincerely, 'bucket'.

I have to agree with everyone, it is terrible that anyone reaches the point where they choose to end their life; but it was 'in the virtual world' and one does ponder that depsite their young ages why they didn't just log off. At uni i was pretty attached to my phone as everything is about socialising and making sure you are in the right place at the right time, but now i have left nothing is really that urgent and i will happily have it on me just in case of emergency but not check it all the time. It is sad that people dont seem to get much of a childhood these days though and spend hours on the internet instead of playing outside, talking to friends etc- all seems internet, computers and texting. Facebook is handy for keeping up with friends who are now all about the world, but if someone abused me on their i would unfriend them and block them- if only it were that easy in real life!
 

Tomahawk

Lantern Swinger
The reason why they can't just turn it off/delete it is, from reading reports, that they get obsessed with what people have to say about them and, this is just me guessing, they would rather know what's been said online at home rather than come into school and have people whispering about them and not knowing what was being said. The opposite of 'ignorance is bliss' I guess.
 

flymo

War Hero
I do hope someone is now trawling through the ISP IP address logs to match up the poster's IP address and the assignee to find the people responsible.

It is a shame that this child couldn't speak to her parents abut this and ask for guidance. Or is that just uncool? Or perhaps she did and they didn't help for whatever reason.

As most of us here are of an age (I'm 50 on the 18th, how the hell did that happen?!) I do think that we have to get involved with what is now termed "Social Media" (I'm a techie so I have a bit of a headstart). I agree with Guzzles on this. This is human "progress". We have to help our (grand)children and let them know that if anything untoward comes at them via the web and from the physical world, that we are there for them. Uncool or not.

@ Rachel, Are you called "bucket" because you are as slack as a yak or previous boyfriends just had small dicks? Just asking.
 
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finknottle

Banned
I have been subjected to a spate of abuse on one internet forum in particular and I look at it this way, if you can't take it you shouldn't have joined. Ho ho He he Ha ha.
 

Ninja_Stoker

War Hero
Moderator
To my mind the crux, bizarre as it may seem, is an obsession with 'celebrity' without ability, truly a modern blight on humanity.

People seek fame (or infamy) and with it, think "fortune" will follow, be it financial or just the fact they become "well known" in their peer group. If you look at the number of "friends" or "followers" or "likes" young teenagers actively seek on social media, it's no different to the more tangible popularity we all sought in the pre-digital age with a handful actual friends rather than hundreds of virtual ones who you don't even know.


The person trying to be clever or funny on social media at another person's expense is just a common or garden socially inadequate bully (troll), who is also seeking that coveted 'celebrity' status. The person on the receiving-end is paralysed in the virtual spiders-web and must "fight back" against their detractors or lose face in a public arena, in full view of their "friends" - a fate so immense in importance that a more fragile young teenager tragically sees no way out other than to take their life. This used to happen well before computers, but the scale is far bigger and therefore more concentrated and profound.

We saw this as much in "adults" in the recent instance of "cyber bullying" of a feminist on Twitter who successfully called for a female, besides HM the Boss, to be depicted on the UK banknotes. Immediately she was targeted because she had relative "fame" for achieving her goal and her detractors attacked her, seeking a wider audience for themselves.

How do we stop it? We can't, all we can do is hope the site administrators actively police and block abusive users. Problem is, if you "over-moderate", people go to a less-moderated site where they can "speak their mind" without oppressive prosecution, legal or physical. Isn't that how ROMFT started?
 

janner

MIA
Book Reviewer
I have my 14 year old grand daughter staying for a couple of days at the moment. Yesterday she came to saying that she was going to report someone for their posts on FB. Someone was calling someone else names. FB was turned off much to her horror.
 

Taffd

Lantern Swinger
Much shite being spoken here, other than Ninja's post.

It's not so easy as turning the machine off; the virtual world interacts with the real world. An innocent aside said to a mate in the real world becomes a public topic with opinion from everybody I the virtual world. Instantly. And it can't be unsaid or denied or explained away; it remains for all to see.

Off the cuff innocence quickly escalates to the overwhelming.

You *****.
 
Of course, all the posters here would be much less tolerant of bullying in a mess square. I hope to god that they wouldn't advise a young lad who was being bullied in the mess simply to stay away from it, or if he didn't like the 'joke' he shouldn't have joined.

The internet is, in the main, simply a cyber-mess square.
 

Ninja_Stoker

War Hero
Moderator
I have my 14 year old grand daughter staying for a couple of days at the moment. Yesterday she came to saying that she was going to report someone for their posts on FB. Someone was calling someone else names. FB was turned off much to her horror.
My son (15) lives virtually in his cyber world as do all his "friends".

Whilst we used to live outdoors in the "real world" for hours on end, pulling the umbilical cord on a computer is apparently the equivalent of "grounding" (hate that Americanism) in the real world.

Maybe I'm just a poor parent, but it seems I'm not alone as the majority of teenagers, even when in the company of "real" friends, seem to prefer to communicate with their virtual friends, not present. Very odd, but then I know adults who cannot hold a real conversation in a pub without the apparent need to communicate with virtual people not present.

Personally I find it very rude, but to be fair in hindsight, I suppose punching their lights out for being an ignorant bastard would probably be construed as being rude too from their perspective.
 
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wave_dodger

MIA
Book Reviewer
As a parent of a 12 year old its a very different world - if they don't use social media they are definitely the odd one out. Everything they do is linked to it; School uses twitter feeds for sports matches/details, closures etc, Friends use Twitter/FB/G+ to arrange social events and gossip.

He's 12 and we relented on a FB page but, as with his phone, on strict conditions - It's heavily locked (the single benefit of being a IS geek), searching is limited to Google, which I have locked to safe settings, I can remotely monitor all SMS/MMS, photos, emails and FB feeds - which I do audit occasionally. Of course the phone looks no different so he's not ostracised either.

I see this as the only way to monitor a space which is so open to abuse by the mindless few. Over time as I sense he and his peers have more sense I may relax, but until then I will watch and this is what I think all parents should do - it reminds him of how to behave and he has hinted to others to behave as well, so I see the tactic working. Maybe I am the 'cyber Mess Killick, or overseeing Officer" ?

Despite being a geek I really fail to 'get' Twitter, I use FB (more than I'd like to) but its rapidly becoming a way to store photos on the cheap.
 
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