Curious side effects

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by kingoftwigs, Mar 7, 2007.

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  1. Facing the prospect of 5 months of defence watches I came to the realisation that a. I may be a little tubbier than I used to be and b. theres bugger all to do when not on watch. So I decided to begin a quest to get 'massive', to aid this I talked to a friend who is wise in the ways of such things. He recomended I take Ginseng suppliments to raise my metabolism, fine I though, just the boost I need.
    One week later, a siht load of ginseng and excercise, no weight loss and an increased number of hard ons, :shock: not the best thing when sat on a watch full of sweaty stokers.
    Has anyone else had such a 'problem' or am I the only one? :wink:
  2. PMSL.

    I knew of someone who used a certain spray to keep there penis erect, but there partner decided to , shall we say practise oral, when she finished !, she couldnt talk, a double bonus :shock: :mrgreen:
  3. I used to take ginseng based stuff to stay awake, but as for raising your metabolism, forget it, supplements are a rip off. There is only one answer, and though you don't like it, you know what it is...
    As for the erections..... maybe you will burn a few extra calories throttling little Captain Picard :lol:
  4. :lol: :lol: :lol: :grin: :grin: :grin:

    I'm sure you MEEOW was happy! Or was it MEMOW, or MEOOW, or...

    Yes, when I has testosterone patches several years ao. Had erections but felt absoletely nothing. Result: stopped using patches. Still have the same problem but less frequently. Still embarassing though! :oops:

    Simple solution: castration. Just what happens with testicular cancer unless you have cisplatin, which I presume is only used on fertile men? You can have silicone implants, by the way.
  5. What the fuck would he want a pair of tits for?

    Mind you, stokers..... :roll:
  6. Actually, one of the lads onboard had testicular cancer, he's ok now, he had one removed and replaced with a fake one. A few months back we had some yank marines on board getting sloshed in the PO's mess, eventually, when they were well oiled he challenged them to a game. 'You guys think you are hard, try this' at which point he got out his fake bollok and smashed a glass down on it, let out a little whimper and then had a sip of his beer. The yank bootie, not wanting to be outdone, did the same, only without having a fake bollok. Suffice to say lots of rolling around and wailing. All credit to him, no tears! This mays sound like a gash dit bit it 100% gen, safeguard, all clips, charged hoses. etc...
    Clanky can also back this on up as he is onboard with me and said bollok hero. My mate did not get away scot free, as you can guess whilst the bollok is fake the scrotum is not therefore days of walking with a limp and sore sack followed.
  7. Should clarify, clanky is not the bollok hero!
  8. when she finished !, she couldnt talk

    Quick marry her...
  9. I DID!, ERM HE DID :oops: :grin:
  10. Your mate should be careful KOT, as I was told the gel could leak out if the casing was damaged! I'd love to have a pair on my desk... just to see how bouncy they are. Perhaps one could play Fives with one... or two... against a bulkhead... :wink: :roll: :grin:
  11. My mate came up the idea of novelty balls! Ones that either light up or play a tune, something like heart of oak while he's on the job! A bit of a niche market i know!
  12. Sounds good to me. You never know it may impress the Dragons in Dragons den if he patents the idea.
  13. If he doesn't he can challenge Ballentine to a game of splat!

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