Cuckoo Clock

#1
The other night i was invited out for a night with "The girls". I told my husband that i would be home by midnight, "I promise!"
Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down too easy.Around 3 a.m., a bit worse for wear, I headed home. Just as i got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was realy proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. [Even when totally smashed...3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT !]
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in,and I told him "Midnight". He didn't seem concerned at all. Whew ! Got away with that one!
Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock."
When I asked him why. He said, "Well, Last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "Oh shit.", cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted
 
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