Crimbo Poem

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by UncleAlbert, Dec 24, 2010.

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  1. A kindly stoker, old and grey,
    lay awaiting judgement day.
    On his deathbed, pale and thin,
    surrounded by his next of kin.
    As they turned and filed away,
    all hoped he'd live another day

    But they knew the end was near
    so his daughter took his ear
    Listen Dad, ….now don't tell Mum
    I know where there’s pussers rum
    In the kitchen, on the shelf
    Get down there and help yourself

    Left on his own, the stoker thought
    of ships and men with whom he'd fought
    of sippers, gulpers, make and mends,
    birthday runs and lifetime friends
    He knew that he would have the lot
    If he could have just have one more tot

    Out of bed, and on the stairs
    he hoped his wife was not aware
    he took it easy step by step
    longing for just one last wet
    slowly and with all his might
    at last the kitchen hove in sight

    He sat down on the kitchen chair
    and then he saw it sitting there
    the glittering prise for which he'd come
    a virgin bottle of pussers rum........
    just when he thought it was his day…
    the bubbly was snatched away

    ‘Feck off’ she growled …… ‘Thats for the funeral’

  2. BZ uncle A. :D :D
  3. I usually hate military poetry, but that was very funny.

    Nice one mucker
  4. UA writes some incredible poems and yarns. Do a search and you'll find a few gems. All masterpieces a sort of Aesop fables for mariners.
  5. Love that!
  6. Has anyone got a link to that honking Christmas poem where the Bootneck is outside in the cold, standing watch with a tear in his eye,. whilst the family are all tucked up inside?....
    Chaddest ditty ive ever seen, brings a tear to my eye alright.
  7. Is it this one, Luke?
  8. If that is the one, it is a rip-off (as it has been altered, and not attributed correctly) of a poem written in 1986 by L/Cpl James M Schmidt of the USMC, who was based in Washington, DC at the time. That makes the subject a Leatherneck, as opposed to a Bootneck.
  9. That's a cracker also.

    Thats the one i was on about. Dreadful.

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