Crass, insenstitive or just a tosser?

#1
Bit of background. My mate has cancer. Operated on last Tuesday, home Friday for his birthday Saturday, rushed into hospital this morning as he was passing large blood clots. Allowed home again this afternoon. Note that none of these people involved are or ever were military or users of harsh black humour!


Him and his wife saw a mutual friend in town this afternoon on the way home. Friend (who was unaware of cancer) asks 'how's things etc'. Mate's wife and mate say 'well actually pretty grim, cancer, operation, hospital, blood clots etc'

Whereupon friend says (safeguard) 'are you going to die then, 'cos if so that will mean more work to go around for me' - cue dropped open jaws all round..............

My buddy tried to swing for him but was hampered both by pain and his wife.



Us that have known about the illness since the beginning have gradually crept up to the 'what size shoes do you take?' type of comment etc, but I feel that this other comment out of the blue was just a tad insensitive.


Just out of curiouity, what do the RR massive think?
 
#2
Insensitive but what I'd expect if it was me suffering and I'd told the tale in my local Legion to those that I know well. Depends how well you know the bloke and his background I suppose.
 
#3
Context, people, context. I do know some people with more than a touch of Aspergers/Tourettes who have to quell the urge to yell inappropriate things in churches, hospitals, etc. (that bloke in the mirror for starters.....)
I think you find most people can laugh at the oddest of times, esp when scared or embarrassed. On rollercoasters, check test flights, car crashes.
Then again, some people actually lack any empathic bone whatsoever, and for them, it is all about them. Uber Narcissists (or Divers, as we know them...:bow:)

I have also experienced that the terminally ill prefer people not to offer false sympathy, and appreciate a bit of gallows humour from those of us close enough to them to attempt it. This can also go horribly wrong, as S-Bend may have just illustrated.
 
#4
My mate died of cancer a couple of months ago, I didnt crack any funnies? at him cos I could see his sang froid didnt run too deep, its a fine line to tread and maybe you take your lead from the person who's ill and dont throw any punches higher than any of his/hers. and the knobs who do, well your time will come to see how hard they laugh
 
G

guestm

Guest
#5
When I get cancer, I expect nothing less than merciless japery at my withering expense. It's what I would have wanted.
 

RomanyRanner

Lantern Swinger
#18
Went through this whole malarkey earlier this year. Diagnosis, treatment , surgery, follow ups ect ect.
Matelot friends could always crack a smile. Civi mates just had me feeling more depressed.

It's a fine line to e sure. But only a fellow serviceman knows how to approach it.
 

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