Crappest directions ever given!!!!

Discussion in 'The Quarterdeck' started by Squirrel, Aug 28, 2006.

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  1. Just prior to a recent visit to Madrid, my mother-in-law, having visited there a few months previously, advised us on "a beautiful little Spanish restaurant, with music and flamenco as part of the floor show", for dinner. Not being averse to a little culture, I asked her where in Madrid it was, only to be met with the response "about a 10 minute walk from the hotel where we stayed". I asked where her hotel was and was, and got "oh it was quite central, all of the main sights were in walking distance, I can't remember the name of it though".

    I think that this has to rate as the sh1ttest set of directions, given by one human being to another, in the history of travel. Anyone think they can beat it?
  2. "(In a slightly higher than normal voice) Navy ??, turn left 15 degrees, at decision height, call visual with Tower on Channel 1".

    The individual concerned got their left and right mixed up and we were hung out to dry trying to find the runway. "Now, how much fuel did we tell them we had?" :(

  3. a women and a mother-in-law come on what do you expect, unless she's giving directions from the kitchen sink to scrubbing the kitchen floor ( were women belong) ?
  4. How about the OOW2 on Nottingham...

    "Last fix minute 48 puts you safe..."
  5. PWO "OOW come hard left 270!"

    OOW "Starboard 35"

    A Arcs buggered!
  6. I got lost travelling through Northampton looking for the train station and decided to ask a guy passing by. His response was something like "Head straight down this street for two blocks until you come to a set of lights. Take a left and keep going along until you come across ?? pub. When you get there take a right into ?? street. Stop at number 122 and ask the owners, they should be able to tell you"

    Without batting an eye, the guy wished us luck and walked away. Needless to say, my girlfriend and I were left speechless.

  7. Whilst driving through North Antrim, I asked a local walking along side the road where "so and so" was, and in dialect he started to give me directions,Fine. but it wasn't until I had carried on driving that I realised what he had said as part of the instructions, " about a mile before you see the church, turn right" !!!???? :roll:

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