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Crabs.....Making shit up since April's fool day 1918

The Worlds Crabs have been making shit up and claiming reflected glory ever since the 100 year experiment started on April fools day 1918. So, I thought a thread shooting them down in flames was in order. I'll start off with a few examples of the claims they've made or the claims the media have made after being prompted by the RAF PR Dept.

The First Big Lie.......

The RAF was formed on the 1st April 1918, they couldn't even manage a month without making shit up, on the 21st of April two or three Aussie pongo's called Popkins, Buei and Evans shot down the Red Baron whilst he was chasing a RAF aircraft at low level across their lines. An ex Canadian Naval Aviator who'd just become part of the new RAF (as they all had) Called Roy Brown was credited with the "Kill".

Another lie.....

John "Cats Eyes" Cunningham.

A very good and successful Night fighter pilot during the battle of Britain, ended the war with 20 "Kills", 19 at night. That fibbing bastard and the bloody RAF PR machine condemned millions of kids from 1940 to 1980 with the curse of eating carrots because "it's good for your eyes, they help you see in the dark"..... Wankers. His success was helped by the fledgling Radar system not bloody carrots.

Latest one.....

Neil Armstrong, first man on the moon. Widely reported on his death as being "ex Airforce" NOT EX NAVAL AVIATOR, reflected glory seeking tossers, Ok, the media said it but the airforce wasn't champing at the bit to correct them.

Over to you folks, what else can we slag them down for?
 

tiddlyoggy

War Hero
Book Reviewer
Fucking brilliant thread! I wish I could contribute to it! I'll see what Google can discover for me if anything! There is of course the obvious lie that they work hard.
 

MG Maniac

War Hero
Their usual lie

"We'll be there to extract you at xx:xxhrs" ... do they turn up??? do they feck as like! .

This is of course coupled with their usual excuse

"operational reasons"
 

tiddlyoggy

War Hero
Book Reviewer
Found one: They met head-on, then they went into the "waltz" , but at last Collishaw found an opening, and Allmenröder went down out of control, to crash to his death near Lille. Nash, lying in a cell, heard a church bell tolling that afternoon, and learned from his guard that it was the funeral of Allmenröder, who had shot him down. Allmenröder, the guard said, he been shot down by the leader of the Black Triplanes."[11]While there have been claims that Collishaw shot down German ace Karl Allmenröder as described above, this has been disputed and remains difficult to verify.
 

Waspie

War Hero
Anti crab thread - MY favourite.

Fucking up in the North sea winching from a Sea King. They, (Crab Fats), snap the winch wire trying to lift a parachute from the ogin. Forty tons of sea water encased in the finest silk! A winch wire cleared to lift 600 pounds. Never going to happen is it? Your right. Wire snapped, Winch op gets a cut beak due to the wire parting and cries to mommma!

Crab command issues instructions to ALL helicopter users in the armed forces that all winching of para chutes is to cease forthwith. Icky here gets on high horse and whinges to my squadron boss and get the chance to show the crabs how to do it properly. Problem solved. Just cos they fuck up doesn't mean the RN can't do a simple job properly.

Fuck me with a ten foot broom but they do the same thing a few years later doing a Hi-line transfer to one HM's Submarines. Again - they tried to stop the world from turning. They are fuckards of the first order.

All I can say is it was a good job there were some RN pilots and a mix of Canuks and Poles during the Battle of Britain!!!!
 
The crabs will do anything to further their cause, I do believe they have even changed the actual locations of continents and islands in official reports because it suits them.
 

silverfox

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
That wil be when the moved Australia on a special map to demonstrate that they could provide air cover across Indian Ocean therefore no need for carrier and CVA01 got shelved.
 

trehorn

War Hero
Didn't the RAF win the Falklands conflict for blighty? That one bomb on the edge of the run way saved the whole operations and was well worth all the expense of getting 4 Vulcans + tankers off the ground with just one making it the 8000 miles and scuffing up the tarmac.

God bless the RAF.:razz:
 
I've posted the same thread on ARRSE, the RAF bods on there have got the hump with me, I guess I'll be getting some shit until standeasy and they all go home. :)
 

JEM

Newbie
The Chief of the Air Staff claimed that Harriers could not carry Brimstone or Storm Shadow missiles as a case for lower functionality over the tornado when in fact the harrier could carry them. The "military advice" from most likely RAF officers led to the cutting of the harrier over the tornado which made operations over Libya a hell of a lot more expensive.

Full details and more info here:
Grand Logistics: Harrier,Storm Shadow And Brimstone

There's also a whole load of other lies from RAF officers here if someone wants to whack em in the thread for easy reading.
Grand Logistics: Lies Damned Lies And Aircraft Carriers
 

noshmon

Banned
I've posted the same thread on ARRSE, the RAF bods on there have got the hump with me, I guess I'll be getting some shit until standeasy and they all go home. :)

I think you upset ChasnDave. Seems to be rabbiting on a bit... If you'll excuse the pun.
 

Handler

War Hero
This thread will bounce back and could bite you in the arse. Supposed to be a united team, especially those who belong to the UK Vets. Pity you have nothing better to do than try and stir the shite.
 

chieftiff

War Hero
Moderator
This thread will bounce back and could bite you in the arse. Supposed to be a united team, especially those who belong to the UK Vets. Pity you have nothing better to do than try and stir the shite.

Believe me, I worked with 'them' (not them for clarity)for my last 6 years and have some great serving and ex serving crabfat mates, the good ones will laugh, join in and respond with banter, the throbbers will see it as a threat, throw their toys out and stomp off, 'they' are in fact 'us'
 

Blackrat

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
This thread will bounce back and could bite you in the arse. Supposed to be a united team, especially those who belong to the UK Vets. Pity you have nothing better to do than try and stir the shite.

Oh dear.

Believe me, I worked with 'them' (not them for clarity)for my last 6 years and have some great serving and ex serving crabfat mates, the good ones will laugh, join in and respond with banter, the throbbers will see it as a threat, throw their toys out and stomp off, 'they' are in fact 'us'

Indeed. Look at the Army. It's full of wankers and the Navy is full of gayers. It's part of the process that the RAF will be full of cunts. I really have nothing better to do.
 

WreckerL

War Hero
Super Moderator
Personally I think slagging crabs off is an excellent thing, my brother-in-law is an ex-crab and a complete bone idle whinging tosser who thinks he's an expert on everything from tomato growing to nuclear physics.

The perfect crab possibly.
 

chieftiff

War Hero
Moderator
I really have nothing better to do.

Looks like it's taken off a treat on ARRSE, that Chasndave character looks like he is fit to explode! he's even resorted to accusing the RN of being responsible for senior officer peadophilea, few more tweaks and you'll have a news story there he is close to losing it. Oh and Meridian has risen to the bait, yawn...........
 
This thread will bounce back and could bite you in the arse. Supposed to be a united team, especially those who belong to the UK Vets. Pity you have nothing better to do than try and stir the shite.

I take it you've never sat in some field or on top of a hill waiting for the lazy wankers to turn up and extract you, only for the throbbers to put in a no show and condemn you to three days more yomping?
 

tommo

War Hero
According to the advert it was the RAF who evacuated everyone in Lebenon. Not the fact it was the RN and just two chinocks


Every turn of the shaft is a new adventure. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
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