A STATEMENT FROM THE PRIME MINISTER
"Due to the constant pressure from the media, it has been agreed that Dominic Cummings will step down from his current role as special advisor to the government,with immediate effect. I would like to thank Mr Cummings for his hard work and loyal support over the past few months."
"I have today instructed the Cabinet Office to set in motion a committee to investigate and report on the way the BBC is funded and their neutrality in their reporting. This will be headed up by a member of the House of Lords who will have my full backing."
"In addition I am proud to announce that I have appointed a new member to the House of Lords. The appointment has been made with immediate effect and I would like to congratulate Mr Dominic Cummings, henceforth to be known as Lord Dominic of Durham. He will take the lead role in the investigation into the BBC with an additional responsibility to report back to Cabinet on the role of Sky TV."
"Lord Durham will take a leading role in the final weeks of the Trade Talks with the European Trade Negotiations."
'If Carlsberg wrote Breaking News.'
I like that! However, I would have thought Lord Cummings of Barnard Castle might stick it up the noses of the arrogant media a bit more......