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Corona Virus


War Hero
Borrowed from the interweb.

Matt Hancock was doing an annual visit to a hospital. As always, he was looking for something to beat the NHS with to show how badly run and loss making things were there.

Hancock checked all the books and then did his tour. While on the tour he turned to the ward manager and said, "I notice you buy and use a lot of bandages. What do you do with the plastic middle out of the roll?" "Good question", noted the ward manager, "we save them up and send them back to Johnson and Johnson and every once in a while, they send us a free bandage roll. We like recycle whenever possible." "Oh" he said somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went in his tour to the next ward. "What about all these coloured casts you dispense. They seem to be rather a waste of money?"

"Ah, yes", replied the ward manager realizing that Hancock was trying to trap her, "we ask that any patient wishing a coloured cast donates £1 which is far in excess of the 10p the colouring actually costs". Hancock was determined to fluster the ward manager. So on they went to the next ward. "Well, what do you do with all the remains from the circumcision surgeries?" "Here too we do not like wasting", said the manager.

"What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the government in London and about once a year, at this exact time, they send us a complete prick".


Lantern Swinger
Commanding Officer, Captain Catherine Jordan, is taking the matter 'quite seriously'.

Wow, they must be in the sh1t then :eek:


War Hero
Safeguard chaps

Ex Colleague sent a message this morning that this virus seems to be spreading quickly via petrol pumps so have asked to tell everyone to wear gloves or use a paper towel when filling up and dispose of straight away -please share -thanks from a surgeon in LGI x
Covid Medical kit Required at home:

1. Paracetamol
2. Betadine for mouthwash and gargle
3. Vitamin C and D3
5. B complex
6. Vapour+ capsules for steam
7. Oximeter
8. Oxygen cylinder (for emergency only)
9.Breathing Exercises

Covid Three stages:

1. Covid only in nose - recovery time is half a day. (Steam inhaling), vitamin C. Usually no fever. Asymptomatic.

2. Covid in throat - sore throat, recovery time 1 day (hot water gargle, warm water to drink, if temp then paracetamol. Vitamin C, Bcomplex. If severe than antibiotic.

3. Covid in lungs- coughing and breathlessness 4 to 5 days. (Vitamin C, B complex, hot water gargle, oximeter, paracetamol, cylinder if severe, lot of liquid required, deep breathing exercise.

Stage when to approach hospital:
Monitor the oxygen level. If it goes below 92 (normal 98-100) then you need oxygen cylinder. If available at home, then no hospital else admit.

*Stay healthy, Stay Safe!*

Please forward to all on your contact list. You never know who it may help.

Advice from inside isolation hospitals, we can do at home

Medicines that are taken in isolation hospitals
1. Vitamin C-1000
2. Vitamin E (E)
3. From (10 to 11) hours, sitting in the sunshine for 15-20 minutes.
4. Egg meal once ..
5. We take a rest / sleep a minimum of 7-8 hours
6. We drink 1.5 liters of water daily
7. All meals should be warm (not cold).

And that's all we do in the hospital to strengthen the immune system

Note that the pH of coronavirus varies from 5.5 to 8.5

Therefore, all we have to do to eliminate the virus is to consume more alkaline foods above the acidity level of the virus.

Such as :
Green lemon - 9.9 pH
Yellow Lemon - 8.2 pH
Avocado - 15.6 pH
* Garlic - 13.2 pH
* Mango - 8.7 pH
* Tangerine - 8.5 pH
* Pineapple - 12.7 pH
* Watercress - 22.7 pH
* Oranges - 9.2 pH

How to know that you are infected with corona virus?

1. Itchy throat
2. Dry throat
3. Dry cough
4. High temperature
5. Shortness of breath
6. Loss of smell ....

And lemon with warm water eliminates the virus at the beginning before reaching the lungs ...

Do not keep this information to yourself. Provide it to all your family and friends
Stage when to approach hospital:
Monitor the oxygen level. If it goes below 92 (normal 98-100) then you need oxygen cylinder. If available at home, then no hospital else admit.
This was the point I had to ring NHS 111 for the wife, she was creeping into the 80's with the oxy monitor I bought, thankfully back up to 98 now. Scary times :(
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